


You Say

by Alwaysgurl43



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22934542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysgurl43/pseuds/Alwaysgurl43
Summary: Emily Prentiss has been dealing with her mental health struggles for longer than anyone would know, but she doesn't know how to let anyone in and share her struggle with. When it starts to affect her cases and her day to day life, her best friend knows that he will argue away any thought in her mind saying that she's not enough.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 24
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

** “Trust the overthinker who tells you they love you. They have, most assuredly, thought of every reason not to.” -LK Pilgrim **

Emily shoves her closet door open and throws her boots on the floor. He stood her up, not that she was surprised. This was the fourth guy that she didn’t make it passed first date cuts. There were promises of meeting up for dinner, coffee, another movie, drinks, visits to various parks/ the zoo/ or other various attractions in the DC area, but here she was on yet another night at her apartment, alone. She stabbed the home button on her phone and unlocks it as quickly as she can. Pulling up the BAU Bad Bitches group chat as Garcia had graciously dubbed them, Emily couldn’t help but simply quote Queen as she types out _Another One Bites The Dust._ She knew that JJ and Pen, were both routing for this one to work out as much as she was, especially since they understood how **_frustrated_ ** and **_unsatisfied_ ** her dating life had left her lately. This guy had left her with a hug and the promise of a second date at the end of their previous date. A hug was nice and all, but **COME ON UNIVERSE** , if all Emily wanted was a hug- well she could ask Morgan or Garcia or even God forbid Hotch if she was that desperate. Emily was desperate to prove to herself that she was wanted though by the opposite sex. The only person who said things remotely sexual to her these days to her were Garcia and the people who catcalled her on the street. Oh and the creepiest unsubs but they so don’t count. 

_Seriously?_ JJ’s reply came fairly fast. 

_How bad was this date gumdrop?_ Garcia asks with a monkey covering it’s eyes following the text.

 _Well seeing as he never showed up to even pick me up, I’d say it was pretty bad from the start._ Emily feels an angry flush appear on her face. _Whatever, fuck it I guess, since he won’t be fucking me._

 _You’re worth more than him Em,_ JJ’s motherly words meant a lot to Emily but right now she more wanted to just focus on moving on to the next big thing, and hopefully the next guy.

 _Want me to ruin his credit score?_ Pen’s offer made Emily laugh. She probably knew ways to make it happen in a way that could never be traced back to her, but Emily didn’t want to risk her favorite tech analyst getting in trouble over a guy who took Emily on one date that, now that he had stood her up, wasn’t even that good looking back on it.

_No need Pen, he’s not worth it._

_Em, anyone who stand you up is worth fucking with. You’re amazing and I second what my favorite blonde mother said, you’re worth more than him. Just keep in mind my offer still stands._

_Heard Garcie. I will probably just read a book or something anyway. I hear my bath calling for a soak and a glass of wine anyway._ Emily sets her phone on her kitchen island as she goes to pick out a bottle of wine from one of the many similar reds she had recently purchased. While going through the different bottles trying to pick out one for tonight, there is a knock on her front door. “Dieu aide moi.” Emily mutters her plead to God to help her under her breathe, already planning how she would get away with the murder of her date that decided showing up three hours after the fact was acceptable.“Si, pendant un instant, vous pensez que se présenter si tard est une bonne idée, je vais vous montrer à quel point ce n'était pas une bonne idée-” Her french comes out fast and angrily as she opened the door, but the face on the other side is equally surprised and shocked by how angry she appears to be to see him at her doorstep.

“Prentiss, is this a bad time?” Hotch asks quickly. “I swear I’m unarmed and I come in peace.”

“Hotch, uh no, come on in.”

“I mean my high school French is very rusty but I take it someone managed to piss you off?” Hotch jokes with her as he follows her inside.

“Something like that.” Emily tries to recall if Hotch had mentioned running by when she had dropped her files off for the night but she’s pretty sure she would have remembered. She doesn’t usually let her friends/teammates pop on over even for a social visit if she’s planning on going out- or well having company over. “I, uh, got stood up and I thought you were my date showing up three hours late.”

“Someone stood you up looking like that?” Emily’s jaw drops with shock. That was not the response she expected from her, well her boss. “Emily, I might be only your friend and coworker, but I am male. I can appreciate that you look beautiful.”

“Thanks Hotch, but it’s not that big of a deal. He was a friend of a friend so I’ll send them an angry message later about wasting my time. Anyway, I feel like you didn’t come over just for a social call. Did I leave something at the office?”

“More like I forgot to give you something back.” Emily’s curls drape over her shoulder as she tilts her head to one side trying to remember what she had loaned Hotch in the recent past. “Jack borrowed Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone when he was over here the other night and he finally finished it. I meant to give it back to you at the office, but I forgot when you stopped in. He also told me to tell you that you were right it was amazing and he wants me to buy the entire series for him.”

“Here, let me grab the next one for you, there’s no need for you to run out searching for the next one tonight.” Emily turns and goes to get it from the other room before Hotch can refuse the offer. Aaron Hotchner watches as Emily Prentiss walks out of the room because where else is he going to look when she looks like that. He’s always thought Emily was beautiful and stunning to say the least, but to know that someone missed out on the chance to take Emily out looking like that, this has to be the universe telling him to grab his chance or this could very well be his only chance to be with her. So he’s not going to let the universe down he decides. He’s got his chance and he’s going to take it. “Ok, Hotch here’s the second book, the Chamber of Secrets. Also let Jack know I own the movies if he wants to come over and watch them. I’d be happy to take him off your hands one night if you’d like a night to be child free and then he and I-”

“Am I not invited to Harry Potter movie nights?” He asks jokingly and Emily looks at him with a look that he can’t quite read, but he thinks is surprised.

“You can be, I just thought you had Beth and you might like a night for the two of you to go out as adults without needing to find a sitter.”

“She and I broke up.” Aaron states casually, showing no emotion in the statement.

“Oh, Hotch I didn’t know.” Aaron shrugs slightly.

“I wasn’t really talking about it. She got fed up with our schedule and it was too similar to the past to bring it up again.”

“Then forget I mentioned it. You and Jack are both invited to come watch Harry Potter movies.”

“We’ll bring the butterbeer and popcorn.” Hotch says with a smile before adding. “Now it would be a shame to let you looking stunning in that beautiful dress go to waste so wanna go grab a drink Emily?”

“I’m ok Hotch, I promise. You’ve got Jack to get home to. I was going to open some wine and a book anyway. You don’t need to waste your time with me when you could spend it with your son.”

“Jack’s already asleep.” Hotch mentions casually, before adding, “Spending my time with a beautiful woman is never wasting my time Emily.”

“Hotch did you hit your head or something when you left the office tonight?” Emily asks, seeing as this man who has called her stunning and beautiful no less than three times, is acting differently than the normally stoic BAU chief that is her boss.

“No, of course not.”

“You’re acting very strange Hotch. If you were Morgan I might expect beautiful to be thrown around casually, but he also say pretty lady, mama, baby girl, and so many other as casual terms. You on the other hand, not so much. So is this Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Are you and Morgan having a Freaky Friday moment?” Emily lowers her voice, “Am I being pranked? Did Morgan put you up to this? Because if he did, this isn’t funny Hotch.” Emily could almost feel the angry tears rising to her eyes. Being stood up by Pierre was one thing, but having Hotch do this to her was another thing. Morgan had been trying to set Emily up with different people to ‘help with her feelings of frustrations’ but putting Hotch up to this was another.

“What? Emily, no. Why would I?”

“Hotch I get it that Morgan wants me to ‘get my sexual frustrations worked out’ but putting you up to this is a low blow and also totally embarrassing. If I wanted to have a one night stand, I could find one on Tinder. I don’t need Morgan to be my matchmaker and my lack of a sex life is embarrassing enough without you asking me out on a pity date. So please just go.” Aaron notices the tears in her eyes and knows he needs to explain the feelings he’s kept hidden for a while, or he’d lose his chance forever.

“Emily, I don’t know why Morgan feels the need to set you up on dates that you feel would be pity dates, but I assure you I am not a part of whatever schemes he has tried in the past. I can talk with him to leave you alone in regards to your dating life if you’d like. In all honesty, you shouldn’t even need these so called ‘pity dates’ as you called them when there is someone right here who has been dying to go out with you for years. I assure you there is no pity and never will be. There is just a man that wants to take a beautiful woman out on a date, because someone else missed their chance and I don’t want to miss mine.” Aaron looks into Emily’s eyes and hopes the feelings he has been feeling all along will come across to her. “Emily, say the word and I will go and we will be just coworkers and friends still. But I had to say my piece before I lost my nerve and my chance. So can I take you for a drink or a date please? Let me prove this isn’t a prank or anything other than my honest to God feelings.” Emily can only stare at him as a few moments pass. Her heart tells her to trust the man who has always protected her from unsubs, but her head reminds her that others have said the same things and in the end she’s always too much- she’s the problem in the end.

“Aaron, I want to believe you-”

“So then can I grab you some shoes?”

“But-”

“Emily-”

“Aaron, listen please. You’re not the first person to say those same lies- those same lines. I can’t lose your friendship.” Aaron walked over to where Emily is as a single tear rolls down her cheek. She didn’t even notice it had slipped from the control she was trying to keep until Aaron reaches to brush it away.

“What if you don’t have to?”

“I don’t date people I work with for that reason Aaron. I will lose your friendship, because in the end, it won’t be you, it will be me that causes the relationship to end. No matter who ends it, the reason will be something I do or say or have done. No matter how I feel about you, I can’t risk our friendship.”

“Emily I had no idea that you felt like this.”

“Si tu savais.” Emily says softly knowing, that none of them had any idea of the hell that lived in her head on a daily basis.


	2. Chapter 2

** “Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel? If you couldn't get me back...You say sorry once and you think it’s enough.”- Jessie Reyez **

Walking into the FBI building on Monday morning is an experience. The past weekend had been hell on Earth that started on Friday night and hadn’t really stopped this morning, but she knew she would need to get the thoughts out of her head until she was out of the office tonight. Emily felt her heart being shoved back into a box, her feelings and intrusive thoughts being shoved into the metaphorical closet in her mind, and she honestly wished that Irish coffee was what she was drinking instead of the regular black coffee of the break room. At least if she had liquid courage in her she would feel better knowing that she would have to face Aaron- Hotch- whoever he was to her. She needs to deal with the fact that she accused him of lying, pranking her, and also that she cried while basically telling him that her mental health was a fucked up pot of fucking mess stew at the moment. If he hadn’t come over after she had been stood up, her normal mask would have been in place and it would have all been easier to deal with. Or if he hadn’t asked her on a fucking date. _Or if you weren’t such a fucking basket case…_ the voice in her head whispered at her, like it did after she fucked up every relationship ever. _But this time you’ve fucked it up with your boss._ The voice in her head was right. He could decide she was no longer competent for this position and take away the only dream job she’d ever had.

 _Breathe. Just Breathe._ Emily decided to force a mantra in her head even if she didn’t always like having to force herself to calm her intrusive thoughts. Bringing her coffee to her desk she pulls the prescription bottle out of her desk and pulls two of the dual colored teal pills out. Popping the anti-anxiety pills in her mouth with little preamble, Emily gulps down some coffee to swallow the pills to help her calm down before she goes to talk to Hotch. She hadn’t taken them in a while, trying to convince herself she was better and didn’t need them, but if last night had proven anything to her, for at least some time she did need some help. The anxiety was still strong in her mind and even trying to push it away into little boxes for later didn’t seem to work. So medicating might be the only thing that would work for now and possibly help keep her life together.

Looking at the file in front of her, she waits for the meds to kick in. There’s little noise around her as very few other agents were in yet. Without an active case, most others weren’t around. Emily wanted to come in and put some time into the cases that needed her attention for write ups, consults, and translations, maybe that way Hotch would at least remember that Emily could do some things even if she had flipped out at him the other night. Speaking of the man she would eventually need to talk with, she risks a glance up at his office and sees Hotch and Strauss in a meeting. It’s barely 8, why would they be meeting this early? Unless- Hotch wouldn’t have already set up a meeting to get rid of Emily or to put her under psychological review would he? Emily felt her heart pounding in her ears as her mind started racing with all the possible little moments where he might have realized her focus wasn’t entirely there in the field and then started adding up all of them to see if he had enough to get rid of her. Wouldn’t he have scheduled a meeting with her? Did he already? Emily logs into her email as quick as her shaking fingers let her but it takes three attempts before she can get her account to log in correctly. And then she sees the dreaded email sitting in her inbox.

**From: Agent Hotchner [aaron.hotchner@fbi.gov]**   
**To: Agent Prentiss [emily.prentiss@fbi.gov]**   
**Subject: Meeting At Early Convenience**

**Emily,**   
**We need to sit down as soon as possible. I have a meeting with Strauss first thing Monday, but after that let’s sit down and talk.**   
**Aaron**

Fuck. First a meeting with Strauss and then with her? She’s going to be fired. Emily pulls her thumbnail in between her teeth without thinking and her throat feels like she’s been in the desert for weeks without water. The rest of her fingers are in a praying position and she squeezes them tighter, trying to give herself something to feel. She tries desperately to remember the five step thing that therapist told her to remember when she starts feeling panicky, but how did it go again? Five things you can hear? No. Five things you can see. Ok. One- her coffee cup. Two- her monitor. Three- her case files. Four- the picture Jack had drawn her when he was here the last time. Five- the picture of the team. Four things you can…. Four things you can...touch. Ok, hands, the ground, her chair, and-

“Prentiss you ok?” Morgan’s hand touches her shoulder and she spins around.

“What the hell? Don’t fucking touch me! Stay the fuck away from me!” Emily sprints out of the bullpen, her breathing already coming in gasps while the walls feel as though they are closing in on her.

Normally Aaron wouldn’t have noticed things happening in the bullpen, since he is in a meeting but he has suspicions that since Emily had revealed more than she maybe had meant to the other night, he is worried about her. Hence why he had asked her to meet with him so they could talk and hopefully he could let her know he is here for her still. When he notices she popped up as signed on almost an hour earlier than when he told everyone they needed to be in, he has to looked down to check on her. He was hoping to see an Emily closer to his friend, but the Emily he sees is farther from that than the girl he had seen on Friday night. She had dark circles under her eyes, looks scared, and has her hands pulled together while she was chewing on her thumbnail already. Seeing her fingers going from red to white and the far off look in her eyes, made Aaron wonder if Emily was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Agent Hotchner do I still have your attention?” Strauss’s voice came from across the room, but Aaron couldn’t bring himself to answer as he watched in horror as a slightly confused looking Derek Morgan reaches to place a hand on Emily’s shoulder not realizing that she’s not in a place that she would want to be touched.

“Sorry Ma’am, I need to take care of something real quick.” Aaron gets up and walks out of his office, closing the door behind him, only to hear Emily raise her voice at Morgan.

“What the hell? Don’t fucking touch me! Stay the fuck away from me!” Aaron watches Emily sprint out of the bullpen as Morgan stares at her before looking at Aaron.

“Hotch, I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s ok, I think I might have an idea. Stay here, I’ll go find Emily.” Aaron tries to think where Emily might have gone and hopes that she didn’t run into the women’s bathroom, since he goes to the place he hopes would be her number one option. He thanks his lucky stars, when he finds Emily in the corner of the stairwell with her legs pulled up to her chest. He sits across from her, and forces himself to not reach out to hold her as much as he wants to. She’s staring straight forward and doesn’t even register he’s there. Aaron watches as her chest only takes in the smallest gasps of air.

“Emily, it’s me, Aaron. I’m here for you.” Emily’s head jumps up about 30 degrees as she realizes there’s someone else sitting with her. “It’s ok, Emily. Look at me- just breathe ok?” She opens her mouth and tries to take in gasps of air, but it only makes her hyperventilating worse. “Em, hey. Slow. Breathe with me, ok. In for four, out for four ok?” Eyes flecked with hazel and copper meet his and for a while all he can do is count for her, but eventually he sees her shoulders start to relax and her breathing start to slow and calm down. She even moves so she’s sitting cross legged like he is. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She eventually whispers. “Thank you.”

“Emily, you don’t have to thank me. I meant what I said the other night. I’m your friend no matter what else happens. So if you’re having a panic attack and you need someone, I’ll be there for you, no matter what.”

“Did-” Emily’s head tilts to one side but she cuts herself off.

“Did what Emily?”

“Did you run out of your meeting with Strauss because I was having a panic attack?” Emily’s eyes drop his as she realizes the timing of everything.

“I did.”

“Hotch, you should go.” Aaron could see her shoulders coming back towards her ears and he could almost feel the verge of another attack starting himself.

“Emily- you are more important than any budget meeting I promise. I’m here because I care about you. The budget can wait until another day. I needed to make sure you’re ok.” Emily’s panic seemed to stop, but she didn’t bring her eye contact back to meet Aaron’s gaze. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing.” Emily shakes her head. “You should go Hotch. Strauss is probably waiting to see what inconsequential thing dragged you away from your meeting. I’ll be fine.” Aaron made no move to leave, as Emily still wasn’t telling him something and the wording she used still worried him. Her hands drop into her lap and her thumb starts playing with the lines on her palm. The only place Emily was making eye contact with was the floor.

“Emily, you are not an inconsequential thing, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Emily’s lower lip was pulled ever so slightly in between her teeth and Aaron can’t help but wonder if he’s on the right track. Aaron thinks through the little information he has and tries to figure out what could have set her into a panic. Was it possibly something he had done? He hadn’t interacted with Emily other than Friday night as well as sending the email to set up the meeting to discuss making work easier. Unless…? “Emily, was it my email that set your panic attack off?” Emily’s non answer gave more of an answer than he normally would have received from her silence. “Because if it did I’m forever sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry that my fucked up brain can’t handle an email?” Emily’s eyes meet his in an instant. Her hiss of an accusation hurts Aaron’s heart that she truly feels this way about herself.

“Because I was setting up the meeting so I could hopefully tell you that I want to utilize our friendship to help your mental health at work. I was hoping to sit down so that we could discuss what would make work easier for you. We work in a stressful and tough environment and you handle it so well that you kept something this immensely difficult underwraps, but I’d like to help you if you’d like.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” Emily stares at him, tears filling her eyes. “And I’ll share that love with you in whatever ways you’re willing to accept, whether it’s friendship or something more. But you are beautiful inside and out.”

“I thought you were going to fire me.” Emily whispers.

“Why would I fire my favorite person?” Aaron rhetorically asks with a smile that Emily rarely sees. “If I get rid of anyone, I should get rid of the person who keeps setting you up on awful dates and never once tried to set us up.”

“That would be the entire team. Well except for Reid.” Emily lightly jokes but relief flowing through her body. “But he only really hangs out with the team so his only options to set me up on a date would have been with the team.” Emily laughs softly at the mental images flowing through her head. “But really though thank you Aaron. No one else has ever sat through a panic attack with me, not even my mother.” Not even her own mother? He wants to ask but doesn’t want to push her any farther than she’s comfortable with right now.

“I’m here if you ever need anything Emily.”


	3. Chapter 3

** “She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated, for exactly who she was.”- J. Iron Wood **

Having no active cases, Emily was hoping that she could have her meeting with Aaron and then maybe get out of the office early, hell maybe even schedule in a therapy session. It had been long enough and seeing as her anxiety was off the chart, it was probably time to visit her therapist.

“Emily, are you going to be alright if I go wrap up my meeting with Strauss? Then we can sit down and talk?” Aaron’s concern is touching, but he shouldn’t feel that she should come before his job.

“Of course. Go. I’ll be fine.”

“Want me to walk you back to the bullpen?” Aaron’s gaze holds her’s and she can’t keep looking into his eyes. Shaking her head as she drops his gaze, she gives off the smallest of smiles.

“I’ll be fine. I should go apologize to Morgan anyway. He didn’t deserve to get snapped at like that.”

“He shouldn’t have grabbed you when you were on the verge of a panic attack.” Emily couldn’t help and look up at the man that had just disagreed with what she had said.

“It’s not his fault; he didn’t know.” She shakes her head as she disagrees with him.

“It’s not your fault either Emily. You were having a panic attack and he surprised you. Your mind was attacking you and he caught you in the wrong moment. He’ll understand.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve your friendship Hotch, but thank you.” Emily grabs his hand and gives it the smallest of squeezes and Aaron turns his hand over so he can hold her hand in his.

“Emily, I’m here for you always.” He squeezes her hand back and there is a slight spark that goes up her hand. This feeling is nothing like what she has felt with others, especially with other friends.

“Hotch, I’ll be fine, go. Strauss is waiting.” Aaron looks at her and sees a wall slowly building back up and knows the moment is over. Standing in front of him is no longer Emily his best friend and the woman he is in love with, but Agent Prentiss who it took months for her to see him as Hotch who wanted to be her friend.

“I’ll come find you when my meeting is finished?” Aaron asks and Emily nods ever so slightly, giving Aaron hope that she isn’t completely closing him out. He squeezes her hand once more before getting off the ground and starting up the stairs back towards the BAU bullpen. Before opening the door to the 6th floor, he takes one more look at the brown eyed girl who holds his heart and she offers him one more soft smile.

Emily pulls her phone out of her pocket and calls the man she hadn’t spoken to in over three months. She thought she didn’t need him anymore. She thought she could deal without him, but she was too far. This was all too much. When he picks up, she almost loses it again.

“Hi Robert? It’s Emily Prentiss. I think I need to see you again.”

Stepping back into his office, Aaron knew he would have to deal with the probably wrath of Erin Strauss. Walking out of a meeting wasn’t something that a BAU Unit Chief was supposed to do for anything less than a case.

“Sorry about that Chief Strauss.”

“Hotch, I was just telling Chief Strauss that we actually have a case.” Penelope Garcia’s voice threw him and it was the first moment that Aaron realized that the colorfully dressed Technical Analyst was in the room.

“So Agent Hotchner, I assume we need to push this meeting until you and your team are back from the case. Keep me posted on the case and we can set up time to meet once you get back to DC.” Strauss’s gaze was still on Aaron, as if there was more she wanted to say but not in front of Garcia.

“Yes Ma’am. Will do.” Chief Strauss nods and leaves the room. Garcia looks at Aaron without saying anything but there was definitely something not case related on her mind and Aaron had a good guess of the five lettered question on her mind. “Yes Garcia?”

“Sir, is Emily ok?” Aaron knew that Emily was one of Garcia's best friends, but she also wouldn’t want her business spread around.

“She will be alright, I’m pretty sure.” Aaron can only manage a tight lipped smile, not wanting to throw off the technical analyst. “Now the case?”

While Garcia and Aaron discuss the case, a worn for wear Emily knocks on Morgan’s office door. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” Morgan looks Emily up and down and can tell something is off, but doesn’t want to push her too far. “You ok?”

“I will be.” Emily offers a slight smile. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Morgan stands up and walks around to the other side of his desk. “Look, I don’t know what I did but I’m sorr-”

“No Morgan, it’s my fault. I didn’t hear you walk up and I was having a rough morning and I shouldn’t have flipped out at you.”

“Princess, you are allowed to be pissed off for people touching you without your permission. I should have made sure you heard me before I grabbed you. That’s my fault and I’m sorry. But do you want to talk about the rest of it?” Morgan’s bushy brows shot up towards his shiny top. Emily shakes her head.

“I already unloaded all of that on Hotch. I’ll be ok. I don’t need to weigh everyone else down with all of that.”

“Slow your roll Mami, you will never be weighing us down. It’s called sharing the load. We all talk to one another.”

“I know. But I’m good. I promise.”

“Well would you like a hug? You look like you could use one.”

“Are you saying I look like shit Derek Morgan?”

“Me? Never Princess.” Morgan’s smile comforts her and she does reach for his open arms and that is what Aaron walks in to see. Emily in Derek Morgan’s arms when not even twenty minutes ago she would barely hold Aaron’s hand. Aaron grits his teeth to shove the green monster off his back- _they’re all friends_ \- he reminds himself about all included parties before clearing his throat. “Oh hey Hotch.”

“We have a case. Wheels up in 20, briefing on the plane.” Aaron sees both of his agents pull away from each other before nodding. Aaron turns away from the office and walks back towards the bullpen, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. He didn’t want his jealousy to show through at all. He had just promised Emily he would love her in whatever capacity he would be allowed to, but her and Derek Morgan, playboy extraordinaire? Didn’t she just say she didn’t date coworkers? _FRIENDS_. No matter how many times he reminded himself, seeing another alpha male hugging the girl he was in love with made him furious when he was barely allowed to touch her. He couldn’t comfort her when she was upset, yet Derek Morgan was allowed to? This was going to be one long case, especially since they were going to deal with kids being murdered at carnivals. Was there anything worse? Little blonde hair, brown eyed kids that could be twins with Jack laying dead in a house of mirrors and on top of that his heart was being murdered too? Aaron shut his office door and slid down it. Rubbing his palms to temple, he tries to calm his breathing now that his team can’t see how everything is affecting him.


	4. Chapter 4

**“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde**

There had been three children that had been kidnapped and killed, along with another two that are missing. Due to this, Penelope is coming on the case with them. It will be easier for them to be able to search things when she is closer and since the town is on the smaller side both in people and technology, Aaron has already said Reid and Pen are going to go with JJ to the station to handle the records and start on a geographical profile while JJ handled the families. 

“Emily, you’ll be coming with me to visit the dump sites. Dave, take Morgan and go to the families homes and see if there is anything that will tell us anything about how the unsub got the kids to go with them.” Emily couldn’t think of the last time that Aaron had paired him and her together but seeing as he was the only one who had the full idea of what was going on, she would take it. Morgan seems only slightly confused on the change up of usual partners, but doesn’t question it. “We’ve got two hours until we land, so study up on the cases before then, but also I did want to take the time to mention that we had some extra money in the budget that Strauss mentioned to me this morning and she would like to utilize it to ensure that all of us are being fully utilized while also not being over utilized, so each of you will be asked to sit down with a therapist in the next two to three weeks. This is not an optional request. I need all of you to be at your best standard. So our therapist will be available while at home so that each of us, myself included, can talk freely about anything without judgement. This will be just between you and the therapist. Not even Strauss or the Director will have record of what was discussed so this will be a time to talk about the cases that stick with you and get them off your chest.” 

Emily can feel her chest tightening at the thought that everyone will be getting re-evaluated just because Aaron felt that she needs to be re-evaluated.  _ Breathe, or they all will know you’re the reason they have to sit down with a therapist _ . The deep breathe Emily takes in doesn’t calm her as much as she would like it too, but it does help her to steady her micro-expressions at least so her other teammates don’t figure out what Aaron already has found out on accident. Emily’s phone goes off with a buzz, reminding her of the appointment she had already set prior to this case coming up. “Excuse me,” Emily says, standing up and walking away from the team to the more private area of the plane, pulling the curtain closed behind her. She slides her phone screen to unlock it and dials Robert’s number for the second time that day. “Robert, hi, it’s uh Emily Prentiss again. My team was just called away and it looks like I won’t be able to make tomorrow after all. Can we reschedule?”

Most of the team tries to make it seem like they aren’t trying to eavesdropping, but Garcia and Aaron can’t help but follow the ravens haired profiler as she walks away.

“Has Emily ever closed the curtains to make a call?” Penelope’s voice trembles thinking back to the one time that Emily kept anything from them all and made calls in private.

“Garcia, Emily is allowed to have things to herself.” Aaron’s voice tells her there is something else there that none of them know.

“Sir, this isn’t her. She doesn’t make secret phone calls and hide behind curtains-”

“Baby Girl, she’s having a rough day.” Garcia’s eyes no longer were focused on the Unit Chief, now that she knew her chocolate thunder knew more than she did and wasn’t sharing.

“Wait, you know what’s going on with her?”

“Sweet Thing, she snapped at me and came to apologize. That’s all I know. But, if she needs her space we need to let her have it. We can’t push her or it will push her away. She will tell us when she is ready. Ok?” The look that Morgan gave his best friend meant more than they knew.

“OK, ok I get it! No snooping. I know that look too well my molten chocolate god.”

“You know me to well. Serving looks is what I do, honey.”

“Oh and what are you serving looks about this time Morgan?” Emily’s voice came up from behind him.

“He won’t let me snoop on you and your mystery phone call gumdrop.” Garcia says super straight forward, showing Emily that she could be here for her friend as well. 

“It wouldn’t have been a fun job for you anyway Garcie. I was rescheduling a doctors appointment. Super boring.” Emily shrugs it off, but Aaron can’t help but wonder what doctor was so important that Emily would have actually scheduled her appointment. But apparently that was the thought on everyone’s minds. “I’m fine guys. Just a follow up on the surgery. It’s been almost the year mark. So I have to get all the incisions and such checked. Make sure they’ve all properly healed. Nothing to worry, that’s why I didn’t mention it.” Aaron knew Emily had already been checked out for all of that. He had the green light paperwork in her personnel file, so what appointment was she actual going to?

Getting into the SUVs when they landed there was almost a palpable silence between Emily and Aaron and it made her uncomfortable. She’s glad she had packed her anti-anxiety meds, not only because she was definitely sure she was going to need them, but because she is still feeling the after effects from her panic attack earlier. She knew there was a bottle of water in her carry on bag, so as long as she could get the meds out she could definitely take them and calm her system down. She counted the hours of how long it had been since she had taken the last dose on one hand and then when digging for the meds before grabbing her water and getting in the front seat. She downs the pills in hopes that Aaron won’t see her taking them and start asking questions, but he is her unit chief and a profiler, so she can keep dreaming right?

“Are you in pain?”

“I’m sorry?” The confusion is present on her face as well as in her voice.

“Sorry, I saw you taking meds, and you mentioned going back to the doctor and with the panic attacks I just thought maybe the one year mark was causing some pain or-”

“What? Aaron- Hotch no. No, I’m fine. I swear. Totally fine for active duty. Promise.” Emily takes a deep breathe and then explains trying to get it over as quickly as possible. “Iwastakingmyantianxietymeds.”

“What?”

“I was taking my anti-anxiety meds.” Emily tries again and this time it actually sounds like multiple words. “My mind is still a bit, um, wound up as you saw earlier and these make it easier so I’m taking them to help.”

“There’s no shame in that Emily.”

“I just really didn’t really want any of you all knowing. I don't try to take them most days. I don’t need them really, but there are days when I just do need to take them and today is one of those days.”

“Emily, would you shame Reid’s mom for taking her meds?”

“No of course not. They help her function day to day.”

“And when I was stabbed what did you tell me when I didn’t want to take my pain meds?”

“That there was no shame in taking your pain meds when you need the extra help to be able to function.”

“So why is this any different?” Coming from anyone else, Emily might have felt judgement, but from Aaron there was nothing but care and love in the statement.

“Taking these feels like admitting that I’m weak. And maybe I am.”

“I disagree with that. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

“Hotch you saw me having a panic attack in the middle of a stairwell less than five hours ago.” Emily chuckles but the sound of it sounds wrong to both of them. “That’s weakness if I’ve ever heard of it.”

“You’re not the first person on this team to have a panic attack Emily, and you won’t be the last. You know why I paired us to go to this dump site?”

“To watch me? See if I’m more in need of the psychological review than you thought?” Emily guesses honestly.

“No, of course not. The therapist is not a psychological review as I said on the plane. It is honestly because I think we all need to have someone we can talk with.” Aaron’s hands grip the steering wheel a bit tighter before he speaks again. “I paired us up because of the victims. All of them are blonde haired, brown eyed kids that couldn’t have been better twins for Jack if they tried.” He takes a breath before continuing, “I paired us up because I honestly see Jack in every one of them and you were the person I wanted by my side while I visit a place that honestly my son could be dead at since he fits the unsub’s type. I paired us up because I need your help as much as I hope you will take mine Emily.” That catches her off guard. She didn’t always think she was a negative to the world, in fact there were days that she did see some of the bonuses of her being here and even was able to easily tell her anxiety to fuck off. But hearing Aaron tell her he needed her was a different thing completely. She knew he loved her- as a friend and he had said something more the other night- but needing her and loving her were two different things in her mind. Loving her as a friend meant her didn’t want her dead sure. But needing her in his life like she felt like she needs him, that’s something she didn’t know if she would ever hear someone else say to her. Emily didn’t realize she was staring until Aaron started talking again, “If I’ve made you uncomfortable Emily, I’m sorr-”

“I need you too, Aaron.” And the smile on his face was different than the ones she had seen on his face in the past; for its hard to look into a blinding sun.

“Can I ask you one thing Emily? Not a bad thing, just a question?”

“I guess so?”

“I have all the paper from your year appointment from your surgery. You did it last week. Can I ask what doctor you’re meeting with? If it’s to personal, that’s ok.”

“I’ve been seeing a therapist for the anxiety since it got to an all time high when I was in Paris. Once I got back stateside, I switched to one here. I stopped seeing him a few months back ago, but he was saying if my panic attacks came back I would need to come back. So I had set up an appointment to see him tomorrow, but clearly I’ll miss it.”

“Can I ask how long you’ve dealt with anxiety Emily?”

“Well how long have I been breathing for?” Emily shrugs. “I don’t remember not being anxious. And then depression runs with anxiety so that didn’t help but it wasn’t until I came back from Paris that things got really crazy.”

“Why’s that?”

“I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Mother didn’t want a bunch of press attention surrounding the family when I was a child so she just had me medicated for the most basic of my mental health problems as a child, but while I was in Paris my meds weren’t working, my symptoms were developing and getting worse, and it was clear there was something else at work. So my psychiatrist and I were talking and we figured out that I was never properly diagnosed. Now, we have most of the medications in the right doses and such, but there are still rough days. You’ve just lucked out and saw the bookends of a rough weekend.” Up ahead both agents can see the sign for the carnival that two of the victims’ bodies had been found at.

“Emily, I know we have to pause this conversation, but I want to continue this later if you don’t mind? Also I know I keep repeating it, but I am here for you no matter how rough the days or weekends get.”

“I know Hotch. Thank you, for everything.”


	5. Chapter 5

**“I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together.” -A.R. Asher**

“I hate ‘fun houses’,” Emily doesn’t remember giving her mouth permission to let one of her biggest anxieties escape from her mouth, yet it was now out in the open.

“They’re fun when they don’t involve children being murder, in my mind anyway. Why aren’t they in the fun category for you?”

“Cramped spaces, dark spaces, people hiding where you can’t see them, people grabbing things or other people, to name a few. Plus the hall of mirrors is the worse. I, uh, got lost in one in Germany during one of my mother’s postings when I was 6 or 7 and not only did I not know the language but at that age I knew enough to know my mom would yell at me when I was found. So I had all these people I didn’t know talking to me in a language that sounded like yelling and already was scared I would be yelled at my mother and her head of security when I was found. That was when I had my first panic attack. By the time my mother and Agent McCallister found me, well let’s just say stress puke didn’t match with the security uniform.”

“You threw up on your mother’s security agent?”

“I was six and having a panic attack, you think my mother wanted to be associated with that? Nope. She passed me off to her employee and told me to stop making a scene. So yes, really fun memory to associate with fun houses.”

“That sounds absolutely awful Emily. You should have mentioned it on the plane, I would have changed up the pairings so you didn’t have to come inside-”

“Hotch, it’s ok. You need me here, I’m here. I have plenty of Hydrozine Pamote in my system, I should be ok to deal with a crime scene. Now ask me to go through one on a normal day and I’ll flip you the bird before walking the other direction.” Emily smiles at Aaron, hoping he gets she’s joking with him, since he might be the only person she would even consider facing her anxiety based fears with. “So if this is the front of the Fun House, but the Hall of Mirrors is near the end of the Fun House, do we think that maybe the unsub is coming in through the back? A child isn’t as heavy as an adult dead body, but still going through an entire Fun House with dead weight would be a struggle, even with only a nine to eleven year old size right?” Aaron considers it.

“That’s a good idea. You sure you want to skip the rest of the Fun House though to check out this hunch?” He smiles back at her and she rolls her eyes.

“I did bring my gun so I can protect you from anyone hiding out in there, but I’ll pass. You’re welcome to walk through from the front and I’ll meet you at the end though,” Emily’s joke is made just before the two dark haired profilers make it where two detectives wait for them at the scene.

“I take it y’all are the hot shots from the FBI?” The blonde detective looks like the stereotypical idea of a southern gentleman, though his wording said otherwise. His dark aviators showed reflections of Aaron and Emily, but his tall, lanky partner seemed like someone Emily could see herself being friends with. Her curls were braided into a singular plait down her back but her face read that she thought her partner was overreacting to another team being brought in.

“Ignore my jackass of a partner over here. I’m Detective Karson Watson and this is a-hole is Detective Samuel Deeks. I’m mighty glad y’all are here.”

“SSA Aaron Hotchner and this is SSA Emily Prentiss.”

“Pleasure to meet y’all. Now this is where the first and third bodies were found.”

“And how many days in between those?”

“Four. We had closed the Fun House so no one should have been able to access it, but people were allowed into the carnival.”

“And the second body?”

“Found a couple counties over at a similar carnival. There’s not a lot to do at this time of year so there’s a lot of traveling carnivals since parents would rather the youngins stay out of trouble at a carnival than in a parking lot or in the woods.” Deeks throws out with a shrug. “Small towns you know?”

“How big are the police forces here and in the other county?”

“Maybe 10 here and a total of 15 over in Luling when everyone is together?” Watson says. “That’s only when something goes down though. We sent 2 of ours over to help and three neighboring towns sent officers as well to help. We’re stretched pretty thin as is, so having two dead bodies pretty close, we couldn’t afford to send as many as we normally would. Normally half of the department would go, but then while we had people already stretched thin, the third body was found. They left it there so y’all could see what was found. Quickest way to the body is going to be through the back entrance. Follow me and I’ll take y’all back there.” Emily and Aaron share a look about the back entrance theory they were right about, while they follow Watson to the back.

Entering the Hall of Mirrors was creepy enough without a mutilated and murdered child sitting in the center of the hall. This child was a little girl that that definitely could have been Jack’s twin, Emily realizes in a heartbeat and can see now why Aaron wanted her here with him. The sandy blonde hair that was matted with dark burgundy blood was in two pigtails that showed how fine her hair was before her death. But her wide open eyes stared into Emily’s. 

“She looks like she was scared to death.” Emily says to Aaron. “Placing her in a Fun Home might have been for staging. Making her look as though she was frightened to death. 

“Was the M.E. able to figure out COD?” Aaron asks the detectives, putting on the Hotch front as the murdered child was reminding him of his own.

“M.E. is waiting to make the official report until the body is back at the lab, but the last two were  electrocution and extensive torture. Both of which the M.E. says she sees signs on this body of as well.”

“Lack of blood indicates a secondary location to torture and kill and just bringing the body here for staging.” Emily walks around the body to the other side and tries to catch Aaron’s eyes, noticing how stuck he is on the child in front of him. “Even coming through the back door, someone should have seen something. You can’t bring a dead body with that much torture through a carnival, especially one where less than four days prior another body was found and not draw attention.” Aaron looks up and catches her train of thought.

“So whoever our unsub is would have to have found a way around both the police presence and the carnies that are here at night to bring the body in. Let’s check with Garcia and see who owns the carnival and see if any of them might be connected with any of the victims.”

“Hotch, did you see this?” Emily points towards the mirror where they both see the feet of the victim. “You. Can. Why would you carve you can into their feet?”

“Was there anything carved into the feet of the first two victims?” Hotch asks Deeks and Watson.

“Yeah, but we didn’t think much of it. The M.E. report would have it.” Deeks says as Emily crouches down to look at the feet closer up. 

“There’s some kind of fragment in the carvings. We should see if-” Emily loses her train of thought as she loses her balance and falls back into the mirror. When she hits the mirror, instead of hitting a solid wall like she expects to, she manages to spin to her left as the mirror turns into a room that none of the four knew was there. Looking directly at Aaron, Emily mentions, “This is the kind of thing I meant. You would never know who would be in here.”

“Or who could come out of there without you knowing.” Aaron mentions as he offers her a hand to help her to her feet. They both switch on their flashlights and start to shine it around the newly found room. The wooden build to the room makes it feel like a creepy workshop, but as they looked around there wasn’t much to the room apart from a lot of dust and the occasional dead bug until they got near to the end of the hallway where Emily’s flashlight reflected off the glassy eye of a teddy bear that looks as though it really didn’t belong.

“Hotch, could the unsub have kept the kids here until they could be moved?”

“I think we have to consider it a possibility at the moment. Do you see any other toys or just that bear?” The two agents search around the room, but neither come across anything else.

“Nothing over here. Maybe he kept the toy of the other victims?”

“Or we just haven’t found them yet. I’ll see about sending Morgan and Rossi to go check it out since they’re over nearby.” They bag up the bear and then walk back towards the opening they stumbled threw originally. 

“Hotch, can you hear me from the other side? Like will you listen for a moment and see?” Aaron nods and shuts the mirrored entrance, leaving Emily on the other side. 

“HELP. SOMEBODY HELP ME! HELP PLEASE HELP ME!” The door swung back open instantly.

“I can hear you immediately from the other side.” His microexpressions told her there was something else but she didn’t mention it, at least not for now.

“So for the children to be held hear, they would have had to been bound and gagged.”

“Or that’s what the toy was for?” Aaron throws out. “Let’s take it with us to the station and see if her parents recognize it. If not we can check with the first victim’s family and see if they recognize it.”

“It’s too high quality to have been from the carnival games so if it’s not theirs we should see if Garcia can see where in the area you can purchase this kind of bear.”

“I agree. For now, let’s head back and see what the team has.”


	6. Chapter 6

** “I will not be another flower picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget.” -Erin Van Vuren **

“Run run, as fast as, you can. It’s like the unsub is taunting us.” Morgan stares at the pictures of the little feet carved up that are pinned up on the boards. 

“So is he the gingerbread man? Is that what your official profile will say?” Emily teases her usual partner.

“Now why would you say that Princess?” Morgan says, and JJ and Aaron wear similar questioning looks.

“Run, run, as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man.” Emily shrugs. “It was just the first thing that came into my mind. It’s just a silly nursery rhyme.”

“We need to keep this out of the press then. Last thing we need is this unsub getting named the Gingerbread Man or The Nursery Rhyme Killer or something equally dumb.” Aaron states as all of the agents of his team nod their heads. 

“That does beg the question to why he’s carving nursery rhymes into their feet?”

“Also was the M.E. able to determine what the unsub used to carve it into their feet since there was traces of something in our third victims cuts?”

“He actually branded it into their feet,” Reid’s voice said from across the table. “The traces you saw were actually the remainders of the burnt skin from using something hot and sharp to carve as well as brand it, therefore causing excruciating pain to the victims.”

“Ew. No. Gross, this is why I stay in my dark beyond where I don’t have to hear this and see what happens.” Garcia covers her ears and tries to not listen to what is being casually thrown around. “This is why I am not an agent, I am a technical analyst. And being a technical analyst, I am going to play my new favorite game until you need something technical and are not passing around gross tidbits about the killer.” Emily can hear the clatter of dice sound she had gotten used to from Garcia’s latest app addiction. She had never thought of Garcia as someone that would be all about things Yahtzee related- she would have expected her latest craze to be something crushing candy related or even something Disney related- but somehow playing Yahtzee with her friends and other players was Garcie’s favorite way to pass time at the moment. 

“Baby Girl, maybe turn the sound off so we don’t have to listen to the number of games you get to play while you’re waiting for your programs to run?” Morgan teases.

“Just for that my God of Chocolate Thunder, you get no White Chocolate loving for a week.” Garcia says without even looking up from her game.

“Woman you know you kill me with how much I love you, even if you try to tell me you won’t love me back for a week.” Morgan says with a smile before adding, “But you’re also mad that I got three Yahtzees in our game aren’t you?”

“Unless Yahtzee will help us finish the case, let’s save it for back at the hotel.” Aaron states. Morgan and Penelope both nod, before Aaron continues, “While at the carnival, Emily and I stumbled upon a hidden second room. We think the unsub might have held the first victim there until he could move him. However with the lack of soundproofing, he would have had to keep the victim subdued but there were no signs of being tied up.”

“We also found a bear there that neither family of the first or third victim recognized and Garcia is trying to figure out where it could have been purchased, but we tossed around the idea of it being used to possible keep the child quiet during the time that they are being held in the area until being moved. The other thing we noticed is that there is no blood at the scene to show the amount of torture and killing that would be needed to accomplish this much pain and suffering to the victims. So we think there is a secondary location that was utilized for the time that the unsub tortured and then killed the victims.” Emily follows the new information that Aaron is laying out for the team.

“Showing the bear to Sophia Dawson’s parents they said a bear like that is something that Sophia Dawson wouldn’t usually go for but if someone gave it to her as a gift she would have accepted it gratefully, because that’s how she is a child. Matthew Brooks’s parents though said he isn’t at the age that a bear is something he would normally want to play with regardless of who gave it to him.” JJ throws out.

“So maybe the unsub is buying presents that he thinks the child will go for because it will keep them quiet? Maybe even told the child ‘your mommy and daddy gave me this to give you but if you aren’t quiet, I’ll take it away’?” Rossi throws out.

“Statistically giving a child something they think their parents gave them is a better chance than giving them something that they pick out because you don’t want to disappoint your parents or you might think your parents will punish you if you lose the item. So threatening to take the toy away, whether or not it’s a toy that the child wants badly or not, could keep the children quiet.” Reid spouts his facts off.

“But with Sophia Dawson, there was no one in the Hall of Mirrors or even the Fun House as Kelly Wilson had already been murdered over in Luling.” Morgan adds.

“If the unsub works for the carnival though maybe he had to keep her quiet and in the fun house until he could move her to the secondary location?” JJ adds back into the conversation for all of the profilers to consider. “Also if the unsub was having to work, who’s not to say that Sophia Dawson wasn’t going to try yelling if he did leave? So maybe the toy was a promise that he was coming back as well?”

“Especially if she’s a child that is scared of the dark or being trapped in a room with no windows? At her age I wouldn’t want to be left in that room for long periods of time without someone or something to protect me from whatever my mind might convince me is there with me.” Emily conveniently forgets to mention that she still wouldn’t want to be trapped in that room for long periods of time now either.

“What Princess, were you scared of the dark or something?” Morgan teases.

“Or something.” Emily teases back without letting her face reveal anything.

“So you’re thinking instead of it being an object meant to cause fear it’s supposed to be more like an object to help protect them while the unsub is gone?” Aaron tosses out and Emily nods. “JJ can you reach out the families and find out if the victims and the missing children are scared of the dark or enclosed spaces or being in rooms that don’t have windows or anything of that sort?”

“On it Hotch.”

“Also check with them about any kind of security blankets or other stuffed animals that might have gone missing with Adam Campbell and Lillie Hawkins.”

“Ok.”

“Morgan can you and Garcia work on compiling a list of shops that sell the bears as well as other security type toys-blankets, animals, etc? Also Garcia can you check and see if there are any child psychologists in the area that might have treated any of the victims or missing children for any of the psychological disorders?”

“That’s going to be hard with all the HIPPA laws-”

“Run the billing information for the families.”

“I said hard Hotch, not impossible!” Garcia sasses back.

“Also I still need that list of employees that work at both carnivals since children have gone missing from both.”

“As soon as it’s finished compiling you’ll have it sir, but there are still people paid in cash under the table that I’m having a hard time coming up with so it’s taking a moment.”

“Emily you and I are going to stop by the school and talk with Matthew Brooks and Sophia Dawson’s teachers since they were at the same school and Dave I want you and Reid to head to Luling to talk with Lillie Hawkins, Adam Campbell, and Kelly Wilson’s teachers. Meet back here as soon as that’s all done.” Everyone nods with the assignments and for the second time, no one makes comments on how everyone is with different partners than they normally are. Because deep down everyone knows something is going on with Emily and that Hotch is the only one who possibly knows the full story. 


	7. Chapter 7

** “Sometimes it’s ok if the only thing you did today is breathe.” -Yumi Sakugawa **

Pulling up to the school in front of them, Emily could think back to every time she had to start a new school with each of her mother’s postings. The anxiety alone with starting a new year was hard, but the times when it didn’t line up with a regular school year and she had to start in the middle of the semester or, god forbid, the middle of the week, made her feel the same panic attack and anxiety sickness that she felt when she felt the feeling of being trapped in the Hall of Mirrors all over again.

“Brings back memories of school doesn’t it?” Aaron asks as they get out of the SUV.

“Brings back all the anxiety of starting so many new schools over and over again.” Emily replies as they start towards the school.

“How many new schools did you have to start?” Aaron asks looking into Emily’s eyes trying to read her feelings, though he could sense she was trying to shove them deep down again.

“Too many to keep track of. But every time I started a new school, Mother left early. She didn’t want to risk the panic and possibility of me getting sick on her.” Emily lets out a rough chuckle. “Dearest Mother. So good at the parenting side of things.”

“Did it get easier as time went on?” Emily shakes her head.

“No, I just got put on better medications to help medicate it away.”

“You didn’t seem nervous coming in to meet us on your first day.”

“You didn’t see the almost panic attack I had at my apartment, and in my car, and in the parking garage. Oh and the full dosage of meds I took that morning. I’ve only taken half today.” That catches Aaron off guard.

“Emily-” Her name comes out of his mouth in concern, but she cuts him off.

“I wanted to make sure I have some in case I still need some. I promise. I’m feeling fine. If I wasn’t I would take more.” Emily turns and grabs a hold of Aaron’s hand pulling the pair of them to a stop. “You’ve helped calm me down more than my meds do. You’re my best friend. And the fact that you have been pairing everyone else off to keep us paired up hasn’t slipped my attention Aaron. I do really appreciate this,” She motions to them both with her other hand before squeezing the hand she has grasped in hers. “Thank you for everything you’ve done to put my mind at ease today. I really do mean it that I’m feeling fine now. You’ve made all the difference.”

“I’m glad I could help Emily. If there’s anything else I can do to help, tell me ok? Nothing is too big of a thing if it’s going to help.”

“So if I ask to take the jet on that joyride you’ve always denied?” Emily says with a smile at her best friend.

“Ok anything but the jet joyride,” Aaron’s smirk told her he appreciates her humor in this conversation.

“I’ll find a way one day for it.” Emily’s still smiling as she says this, and for the first time in a couple day Aaron feels calm with her actions. But then Emily takes him by surprise and wraps her arms around him, one around his waist, one around his shoulder. Even with the surprise of it all, he still wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer than the lose hug. “Love ya.” It’s soft and mumbled into his shoulder, but he listens closely for anything from her lips.

“I love you too Em.” And even though he doesn’t want to let go of her, he knew they need to talk with the school and continue making the progress they can so they can hopefully find the two missing kids before it’s too late. But before he unwraps his arms, he places a light kiss in her hair and partially on her forehead. “We probably should get inside before your boss has to yell at me for monopolizing your time.”

“I’d love to see that happen. I wouldn’t feel like the only crazy person in this rela-friendship.”

“You’re not crazy Emily.” He pretends not to hear the slip up she almost made. He wants to be in a relationship with her so badly that it breaks his heart to hear even the start of the word on her tongue and then hear her flip back to friendship so easily. 

“Well if you start arguing at yourself, I won’t be the only one, but I’m certifiable crazy-”

“You have mental health problems, sure. But you are the least crazy person I know. Now that evil villain from Frozen that Jack made me watch the DVD of a billion times, he’s crazy. You? No way. You’re too wonderful and loving and amazing.”

“Did you just compare Hans from Frozen and I?” Emily asks with a slightly confused look on her pale face.

“He literally tried to kill the best queen Disney has ever made while she was grieving over thinking she killed her sister. That’s crazy. You’ve never done that. Therefore- not crazy.”

“Ok, we need to discuss Disney villains one day, because there are way worse ones,” Emily says but then places a soft kiss on Aaron’s cheek. “But thank you for the compliment of saying I’m better than Hans. And for arguing my mind.”

“I’ll argue on Disney villains any day. I’ve seen almost all of them since Jack was toddler on. And I’ll argue your mind and prove it wrong whenever you need me too. You’re my best friend too Emily. And you’ve helped me through my hard times as well. So let me return the favor.” The smile on her face is one he has never seen before but he will try to replicate from now on, however often he can. 

“Ok.” Her conceding to his request put his heart back together and made him hope that maybe one day she would call whatever is between them a relationship for real on top of being best friends. They separate shortly after to walk into the school so that they can at least appear somewhat professional. They weren’t expecting to get a ton out of talking with the teachers since the children are being abducted off campus as well as killed and staged, but they were hoping that the teachers might be able to help them understand their victims better. The secretary of the school, Mrs. Wetherington walked them down to the first room, where Matthew Brooks had been taught for the past 7 months, before pointing a couple doors down and explaining that that had been Sophia Dawson’s classroom. She then walked them in and introduced them to Ms. Gardenia, the fourth grade teacher and her 15 students. 

“Hi everyone my name is Emily and this is my friend Aaron. We work for the FBI does anyone know what that means?”

“You’re the police.”

“We work with the police, that’s right. We work to catch bad guys and make them do time for crimes they commit.”

“Are you here because of Matty?” A little blonde haired, dark eyed girl from the back of the classroom asks softer than expected. 

“We are,” Emily answers honestly. “We need to know more about Matty because we think it will help us to catch the man that hurt Matty.”

“It won’t bring Matty back though.” Emily could see the reflection of Matty in her face and wonders if she’s related to Matty somehow.

“No, it won’t but it will help us to make sure that someone else doesn’t lose someone like you lost Matty.” Aaron says in the same tone of voice that Emily has heard him use with Jack many times before. “Was Matty your best friend?” Blond curls bob up and down really quickly before her soft voice answers.

“The bestest of friends. He’s my twin.” Emily looks at Aaron in confusion- Matty’s parents had said that Matty was an only child.

“Julia’s his cousin, but they were born 12 hours apart.” Ms. Gardenia explains. 

“Julia, would you like to talk with us about Matty? Help us know all about your best friend?” Julia looks like she is contemplating it for a few moments before nodding again. Julia and Ms. Gardenia step out in the hallway with Emily and Aaron while Mrs. Wetherington stays with the other children. “There are no wrong answers and you won’t get in trouble for anything you share with us Julia, ok? We just need to know the most we can about Matty.”

“Ok, like what?”

“Well did he have any thing he was afraid of? Was he maybe afraid of the dark or of going into rooms where the door couldn’t be open?”

“He didn’t like rooms without windows. He had to take Lolly the Llama with him when he did. He said the air wouldn’t come in when he was in those rooms and it made it hard to breathe, but Lolly could carry extra air so it was ok.” Claustrophobia, hence the toys the unsub purchased.

“So would Matty go into a place that didn’t have windows without Lolly for any reasons? Like if he was being told it was something he had to do or if it was the only place he could go, would he?”

“No. Without Lolly, he would rather die than go in there.” 

“Were you at the carnival with Matty the other night?” Julia nods slowly. “Do you remember what happened when he disappeared?”

“We were all together getting food and then while Mommy and Daddy and I were getting food, he just went gone. I don’t know. He was there and then he wasn’t.”

“Thank you Julia, you’ve been a big help.” Emily says as she notices Aaron start scratching at his arms and hands. “Ms. Gardenia, do you use an essential oil diffuser in your room?”

“Yes, a chamomile one to calm the room, especially with what happened to Matty, why?”

“No reason, thank you.” Emily pulls Aaron in the opposite direction of the classroom they were supposed to be heading. 

“What are you doing Emily? We need to visit the other classroom.”

“You’re having an allergic reaction to her essential oil diffuser. I’m taking you to get some Benadryl and then we can come back, if you’re feeling up to it. Otherwise I’ll go pick up JJ or Morgan and come back here with them.” Aaron looks at her confused. “Ragweed, you’re allergic to it. And the chamomile room diffusers can cause reactions remember? That’s why I switched to the lavender ones. You were reacting every time you came over. I don’t want you to have hives all day. You’ll be miserable.” 

“Emily-”

“No excuses. You took care of me, let me take care of you.”

“Fine ok, but can we not tell the team?”

“They’re going to realize you’re having a reaction. The hives are spreading as we stand here arguing.”

“Emily.” Her name came out more as a whine than the plea he meant for it to sound like.

“I won’t mention it to them, ok? But it’s an allergic reaction, it’s not something to be ashamed of Aaron. And that’s coming from your best friend. Your body is attacking you like mine was earlier. Yours just shows it differently than mine does.”

“I know Em, but I just don’t want the pity looks from them while we’re working.”

“Then let me get you Benadryl and then you’ll start getting over the reaction quicker.”

“Fine.” He finally allows her to walk them towards the SUV they had parked in front of the school. Emily held her hand out for the keys and Aaron shakes his head. Emily opens her mouth to protest but Aaron replies before she can. “If I don’t drive, I’ll keep scratching and they’ll get worse.”

“You’re not really letting me take care of you then.”

“Distract me. That will help more than anything right now.” 

“Ok, what would you like me to distract you with? My disastrous mental health? My lack of a dating life? My awful childhood memories of puking on the agents that got to do their service prior to the time you were there?” She takes a sip of her coffee allowing him to mull over his options

“How about what it would take for me to get a date with you?” Emily nearly chokes on her coffee. “Is going on a date with me that bad of an idea that you nearly die with the thought of it?”

“Aaron I literally just told you how  _ great _ my life is,” She sarcastically emphasizes her thoughts of her life, “and you take the time you’re having an allergic reaction to bring up the fact that you asked me on a date the other night again?”

“It wasn’t a one time option Emily. I’ve been wanting to ask you out for years, but every time I’ve thought about going for it, you’ve been going out with other guys or been on a ‘not dating’ streak or literally had to play dead. Maybe these hives are a sign from the universe that we’re being tortured for not taking our chance.”

“Or it’s a sign that you thinking like this is you losing your mind while having a reaction to someone using something you're allergic to. Aaron, you might be my best friend, but you're also my boss.  _ We” _ she motions to them, “could never be a thing if we wanted it to be. You deserve better than a half broken person. I’m too fucked up.” There’s a silence between them, before Emily speaks again. “Turn left ahead. The pharmacy will be on the right.” 

There’s silence in the car. Aaron looks like he is pissed off, and for once he actually is. He hates hearing the woman he is in love with talk so poorly about herself and he realizes there is little he can do to change how she feels about herself. Emily, on the other hand can’t believe the conversation had turned back to her, when he had asked her to distract him. She saw his hand reaching towards his left arm so even though he looked like he wanted to snap at anyone, she did something she never thought she would. She grabs his right hand in her left. Even though the remaining drive takes no more than five minutes, she sees him physically relax just through the little action of grabbing his hand. When they pull up outside of the pharmacy, she pulls her hand away and starts to unbuckle. Aaron looks at her with slight confusion.

“I’ll go grab Benadryl for you, it will take all of about 5 minutes. You can stay here,” She suggests with a shrug. She had said she was going to take care of her best friend and this was part of that in her mind.

“Emily-”

“Taking care of you remember?”

“I was just going to say thank you.” He gives her the soft smile reserved for her. On her face he sees a sliver of the smile he had created earlier and it gave him something he hadn’t felt for a while- hope.

Coming out from the pharmacy, Emily sees the man that she considers her best friend sitting in the front seat scratching at his hives and the irritated look on his face makes her laugh, surprising even herself. Emily felt almost like a lovesick teenager looking at Aaron. No matter how many times she brought up her mental health or talked about herself the way her brain felt about her, he wasn’t scared of admitting his love for her and asking, more than once, for her to let him be a part of her life. And even though he was a workaholic at heart, he listened to her when she was concerned about him and stopped working to get Benadryl for the hives that he would have pretended to ignore and work around for the rest of the day had she not stopped him. Even though it took a lot for her to be able to ignore the other thoughts running through her head, Emily knew there was one truthful thing in her head, and heart- she is in love with Aaron Hotchner. 

Aaron barely notices Emily climbing back into the SUV, but her voice pulls him away from the hives he is scratching.

“Aaron stop, they're only going to get worse if you keep scratching.”

“They itch, Em.” 

“You sound like Jack.” Aaron’s glare catches her eyes and he can tell something is off or well different than when she left the car, but unless this goddamn itching went away, he couldn’t focus on that right now. “Aaron, look at me and stop itching. Take this first,” she puts a singular tablet in his hand.

“I can take two.”

“Not if you want to drive and keep working. They will knock you out. So unless you want to stay at the hotel the rest of the day you can have one.”

“Fine,” He grumbles. She also passes him a yellow Gatorade and a bottle of Benadryl cream. He stares at her. 

“What? The yellow one is your favorite when you don’t feel good and the cream will help with the itching. Plus it has Benadryl in it so it will help clean up the hives so that the team doesn’t see them as much.”

“Emily, I would die without you,” Aaron’s voice is slightly joking, but she can hear the truth in his voice as much as he tries to hide it.

“Hey Hotch,” Aaron turns to look at her, confused on hearing his nickname coming from the woman who had used his given name for the better part of the afternoon. Then out of nowhere it seemed to him, Emily was leaning across the console, his face in her hands and her lips on his. “A kiss to make the boo boos better, like Captain Jack says.” She murmurs against his lips, before leaning back towards her seat.

“Emily,” Her name comes out his lips like a plea. “Please tell me that wasn’t just because I have hives.”

“I’m in love with you too. I just didn’t think you could love someone like me. Someone as fucked up up here as me,” She points to her forehead, before continuing, “But you keep showing how how I am loved when I can’t feel a thing and you say I am strong when I think I am weak, but most importantly you hold on to me when I am falling apart. You show me how much you love me when I need it the most Aaron, and I love you for that and so much more.”

“And to think only ten minutes ago you told me we could never be a thing.” And this time Aaron is the one leaning over the console to kiss Emily. But between kisses he murmurs to her, “I don’t love someone like you. I love you. Only you.” And then pulling only millimeters from her face he asks, “Now can I take you out on a date?” Emily’s laugh throws him for a loop.

“Nope.” He looks shocked that the woman that said she loves him said no. “Now you can take me to the precinct so we can figure out why Matty’s parents didn’t share with us that he had claustrophobia or that they were at the carnival with his ‘twin’.”

“Emily.” Her name leaves his lips like a growl.

“After we’re back in DC Aaron, yes. Just don’t stand me up for our date.”

“I’ll be early I swear.” And Emily doesn’t doubt he will be.


	8. Chapter 8

**“What is life without a little risk?” -Sirius Black**

“Bossman what are you and my favorite dark haired beauty doing back so soon?” 

“We met Matty’s twin while at school and she uncovered some interesting things that Matty’s parents conveniently forgot to tell us.” Emily throws out before Aaron has the chance to.

“Matty?”

“Twin?” JJ, Morgan, and Penelope all start talking at once not understanding. 

“Matthew Brooks, known as Matty to his cousin Julia, and Julia are 12 hours apart by birth and they grew up as ‘twins’. She told us that Matty had claustrophobia as well as a comfort animal that he wouldn’t have dreamed of going into the Fun House without. She also mentioned that she and her parents were at the carnival with Matty and his parents on the night he disappeared.” Aaron explains quickly.

“Wait but that goes against the whole story his parents gave us not even an hour ago.” JJ says with confusion pulling her eyebrows together

“It also discredits their alibis since they are each other’s alibis for the day that Matty was found.” Morgan points out.

“Wait you don’t think the parents would have killed their own child would they?” Garcia asks with hesitation on placing the blame on the victims parents.

“We’ve seen parents do worse. Plus the M.E. did say that Matty’s body showed more violence than the other victims. Which if his parents were placing blame on him for the mental health issues he was battling, then maybe they were trying to get rid of him so he was no longer a burden to them.” Aaron’s eyes caught Emily’s as she stated something she had wondered if her mother had ever felt about her before- the burden her mental health put on her career.

“Let’s not assume anything yet.” Aaron says as the level headed BAU chief but also as the man that loves her. “But JJ, Morgan separate the parents and we need to interview them.” JJ and Morgan nod before heading off to deal with Matty’s parents. “Garcia were you able to track down a psychiatrist for Matty?”

“Yes, I was and he actually saw all of the victims. Small towns are even smaller for specialty doctors like this. I’m sending you the address for him right now.” Emily’s phone pings with the address. And the dark hair pair looks at the tech analyst in surprise. “You’ve been with her all day, I just assumed you were heading out together.”

“Actually, I’m going to stay with Morgan and do the interviews and send JJ with Emily since the family knows JJ at this moment and I don’t want them to feel to comfortable.” Penelope and Emily both were surprised with this statement, but Emily did better with hiding her surprise. He kisses her and now he decides to stay behind? “Emily, a moment, before you head out?” Emily nods but doesn’t say much except to follow him into the room where the family had been before Morgan and JJ moved them. “I know you were surprised I’m staying behind, but I promise you it had nothing to do with the kiss. I very much so liked that, just like how I like you very much.”

“Hotch-”

“Emily, it’s these goddamn hives.” He breaks his normal calm and collected personality and starts scratching at the hives again. “I can’t do an interview out in the field like this.”

“Stop scratching Aaron.” She understands in an instant that he’s doing what he had to do so he could run off and scratch if need be without having her stop him by staying at the precinct. “Put some more of the Benadryl cream on.” She grabs his hands in hers. “And promise if the itching gets too bad you’ll call me so I can distract you from itching. The hives will get worse if you keep scratching.”

“Oh and how do you plan on distracting me if you’re all the way across town at an interview.” Aaron’s eyebrows wiggle suggestively at her.

“I’ll find a way.” And Emily watches the air leave Aaron’s chest. “Have you never seen the power of just talking,” She whispers the last couple words. “Or there's always texting. But then again, maybe I shouldn’t let my boss know things I could do while I’m working.” Emily winks at him before turning to go find JJ and if he didn’t have the distraction of the hives, Aaron would have sworn his pants had shrunk during his conversation with Emily. 

Little did the dark haired pair know, the blonde profiler was already watching them, and walked over to Emily a few moments after she left the room with Aaron. “So how long has this been going on?”

“What are you talking about Jayje?”

“Hotch and you.”

“He’s been my best friend for forever JJ, you know that. That’s why you and him worked so hard to hide me when all the Doyle stuff was going on.”

“No, I help put you into hiding because of him. He pleaded with me to use my position with the state department to keep you safe before I even considered it. So explain.”

“He’s my best friend JJ.”

“And you want it to be more, you always have, so has he.”

“I don’t know what you’re taking, but maybe it’s time to cut it out of your life.” Emily says as they walk out of the precinct.

“Oh my god. He kissed you.”

“No I kissed him but-” Emily’s hand flies over her mouth as she realized the cat was way out of the bag now. “Crap.”

“I knew it!” The blonde’s smile lit her face up like Christmas twinkle lights.

“JJ, it like just happened like 15 minutes ago so I’d really like this to not-”

“I won’t tell anyone yet, but you know I’m going to want the full story right?”

“He and I are having rough days and we both said I love you at different points and I realized he meant it and I kissed him and then he kissed me back. That’s about it.” Emily shrugs hoping JJ will let it go.

“I’ll take it for now, but later I do want the full story. I gave you the full story of Will, I want the full story of your Prince Charming too.”

“Let me figure out if he is my Prince Charming before I give you the story.”

“Oh please. We know that it doesn’t take a genius to realize that you and he are meant to be together. Or would you rather I get Spence in here to explain why you two are perfect for each other?”

“Bring Reid in and I’ll never tell you the whole story.” Emily swears.

“Fine, fine, I’ll leave Spence out for now, but eventually the rest of the team will find out and at that point I can’t promise what will happen.”

“I know, but I’m hoping I can actually get like a date or two under my belt before they find out you know?”

“Trust me, trying to hide a new relationship around the team is hard enough when your significant other isn’t on the team, but when the team is around the person you’re dating it’s ten times harder to try and hide it. Remember how you flirted with Will to try and reveal my relationship in front of the team?”

“Yet somehow our favorite doctor still missed it.”

“You know who is not going to miss that something is different with you? Pen. She was bugging Derek all day about why was Hotch switching up everyone but you and him and then when Derek put it on you having a rough day, she then went back to bugging him about trying to figure out why you would talk to him and Hotch but not her.”

“I should talk with her. It really was just they were there when I needed to talk shit out. She shouldn’t feel badly, because of me.”

“Or because your anxiety is making you feel like shit today right?”

“What?” Emily is shocked by her blonde best friend. 

“Emily, you’ve been on edge all day, and your comments about mental health got me thinking and I know you made a few comments about your mother never respecting people with mental health problems. So I got to thinking about it and I was guessing it had to do with some first had experience with mental health and a judgmental parent. Look, you don’t have to confirm it or not, but if that is what’s going on, I just want you to know that I can understand where you are coming from if you ever need someone to talk to.” Emily can’t manage anything for a moment and JJ continues. “Postpartum depression with Henry and I’ve always struggled with anxiety from all of the different things I wanted to succeed at in life. Getting even a B plus in classes made me feel like I was a failure at life. So just throwing it out that I’m here if you need a listening ear besides the Prince Charming talk.”

“JJ, I had no idea you struggled with anxiety and depression.”

“Mental health has a stigma to it still. But I’m trying to be more open about mine so, it’s not who I am, but it’s part of what makes me me.” Emily had never thought of her mental health like JJ did. 

“I had a panic attack this morning.”

“Oh Emily.” JJ rubs a hand softly up and down Emily’s shoulder, her other hand staying on the steering wheel. “Are you feeling ok now? Still have any residual panic? My anxiety attacks always leave me feeling on edge for the rest of the day.” A weight is lifted from Emily that she didn’t know had been on her shoulders from talking to JJ about her attack. JJ understood the panic attack even better than Robert did.

“I’m ok. I’ve been on an anti-anxiety med for years for when I have panic attacks so I’ve taken a decent amount of it to calm me. And I talked it out with Aaron and vaguely with Morgan. He doesn’t know that I had a panic attack, but I snapped at him right before my attack so I apologized and he talked with me a bit too.”

“That’s what he’s been saying to Pen all day. He told her he doesn’t fully know what’s up, but that you’re having a rough day and that you would talk to us about it when you’re ready.” JJ smiles a gentle smile in Emily’s direction. “So don’t feel like you have to bring it up today and talk with Pen or that you have to explain any of this if you don’t want to. Anxiety sucks,” JJ says with a defiant chuckle.

“I, uh, don’t just have anxiety.” Emily knew they had time while they drove and she knew JJ was someone she wanted in her corner.

“You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, Emily.”

“I know. I want to.” Emily takes a shaky breath.

“Take all the time you need,” JJ makes a right turn onto the highway as she says it.

“I have bipolar disorder.” Emily breathes out the sentence. “I was diagnosed right after coming back from Paris. But I’ve had mental health issues since I was a kid. I had my first panic attack at 6 or 7 while I was living in Germany which lead to me being diagnosed with anxiety, and I was diagnosed with depression by age 10. By the time I was in high school I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder and insomnia. But while I was in Paris I started showing some of the other symptoms of Bipolar on top of my other diagnoses getting increasingly worse since the medications I was on were actually making my symptoms worse since I wasn’t on a bipolar medication to balance out the bipolar symptoms. So by the time I was stateside again, I met with my psychiatrist and we managed to get my diagnosis right finally.” The words pour out of her mouth in a similar fashion to her conversation with Aaron, but it feels good to share it with another friends. 

“Wow, Emily. I can’t even imagine going through all of that by yourself. That’s impressive that you have handled all of that and now you’re kicking ass and taking names, including your own mental health issues.” JJ smiles at her brunette best friend and can see the relief on her friend’s face with sharing her story. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m grateful that you felt that you could share that with me.”

“You trust your child with me and I trust you with my life. I just didn’t know I wanted to share this yet. I knew I could trust you with it, I just wasn’t ready to share it until now.” Emily means every word that leaves her mouth for the first time in a while. “You’re like a sister to me Jayje and I love you.”

“I love you too Em and I’m grateful that I can trust you with my life and the life of my child. Even if sometimes it might be me who you might have to save him from. Did I tell you he decided it would be fun to decorate our newly painted walls with sharpies? I have no idea how a three year old got a hold of sharpies but Will is still trying to get the marks off without having to repaint.”

“Well I will definitely take him off your hands for the day if you need a day away from my godson.”

“He’s in his terrible threenager phase so I might take you up on that offer.” JJ pulls off the highway and then turns into the office complex that the gps was directing them too. “Looks like we’re here.” Emily and JJ grab the files from the back seat and Emily throws her blazer on the back seat before they slam the doors shut. 

“It’s too damn hot down here. It’s March, has Texas never heard of spring weather?” Emily asks and JJ offers a hand to hold the files knowing Emily would want to pull her hair up since her hair was already sticking to the back of her neck too. “You read my mind JJ.” 

“This is the kind of weather that makes me want a bob.”

“But your hair is so gorgeous Jayje.”

“But it’s sticking to my neck and I’m dying.” JJ slightly whines while Emily pulls her hair into a ponytail.

“I just need mine to not get all sweaty so it doesn’t start curling. If it starts curling, I’ll never stop the frizz.” Emily rolls her eyes at the thought, before reaching back for the files she was supposed to have from JJ. Walking into the office they were surprised to not find a secretary but instead find a board with switches and names next to it.

“I guess we buzz ourselves in?” JJ says pushing the button for Dr.Terrance Caldwell. A middle aged man with a shaved head pops his head out the door a few moments later.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had a new set of parents coming in today. Come on back, I’m just finishing a couple notes from my last session. I see you both came prepared. How old is your child?” Dr Caldwell asks looking at JJ. 

“Three.”

“Feels like my patients get younger and younger every day.”

“Sorry, Dr. Caldwell, but actually we’re not here as patients. I’m Agent Emily Prentiss and this is Agent  Jareau with the FBI.” Both agents flash their badges. “We’re actually here about 5 of your patients.” JJ’s phone goes off and she picks up.

“I have many patients. Blessing and curse of small towns having few doctors. Which ones are you here about?” Dr. Caldwell asks as Emily can hear JJ talk with Morgan.

“Matthew Brooks, Kelly Wilson, Sophia Dawson, Adam Campbell , and Lillie Hawkins.”

“Hmm. Well three of those patients were in tragic accidents. Their lives were cut short this past week. The other two, I can’t talk to you about them without their parents’ allowing me too.”

“Adam and Lillie are missing and you may be able to help us find them-”

“Emily.” Emily’s eyes meet JJ’s and she can already read the fear in JJ’s eyes. They’re with the unsub.

“But you already knew that, didn’t you Dr. Caldwell? You already got away with three murders so you thought why not up the game and go for two?”

“I never hurt them! I was saving them.” Before Emily could register what was happening the room spun and her back was against Dr. Cadwell. She regrets not grabbing her gun from her holster as her own pistol is now pushed against her side.

“Terrance this is not what you want to do, this is the worst decision you can make. Holding an FBI agent at gunpoint when there are more FBI outside coming in any moment? Especially one of which is her boyfriend? How’s that going to end for you? Do you want a shot between the eyes to end your day? Because that’s how yours will end if her boyfriend walks in to her being held at gunpoint.” 

“You’ll never catch me, it’s my secret to keep. Two can keep a secret if one of us is dead.” And that’s when she felt the feeling she was hoping to never feel after hearing the sound so similar to fireworks sounds.

“EMILY!” Aaron’s voice rang out as JJ’s gunshots rang out. 

Although Emily may not always feel like her life is worth a ton, in this moment Emily realized how much she had too live for. Aaron and Jack were a big part of it; the life she could have with them was worth her surviving anything.

“Aaron, I think you can take care of me this time.” Her voice is softer than normal and it scares him as he holds her close.

“WE NEED A MEDIC! EM’S BEEN SHOT!!” He applies pressure to the wound on her upper left side, “Em, you do not get to use a gunshot to escape. It took three times asking to get a yes. Come on Em, stay with me. You said you love me.”

“I do. Love ya. Aaron.” Emily’s voice was labored as she tries to breathe through the pain.

“WHERE IS THE MEDIC?!” Aaron looks away from Emily to yell towards his team who had been at the door to call for an ambulance.

“Hotch ambulance is 5 minutes out!” Morgan says and that’s enough for Aaron to turn back to his love. When Aaron looks back to Emily, his heart stops for a moment.

“Emily, no! Open your eyes! Look at me please, sweetheart! Emily, I love you, please stay with me!”


	9. Chapter 9

** “I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes, They've seen things that you never quite say, but I hear, Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you,And I'll stay there as long as you let me” -Sara Bareilles **

When Emily wakes up she has no idea of how many days have passed, or where she is. All she does know is she remembers being shot, and she’s pretty sure Aaron and her both said they loved each other in front of at least JJ and maybe Morgan? Emily cringes with the thought of it being shared with more people in the day than intended, but deep down, she knows that she meant the words she said and she isn’t as scared of the fact that she shared the words but more so that they know about it so soon. Would she have rather revealed it later on? Sure. Does she totally regret them knowing? Not entirely.

“Emily?” The soft spoken voice is the one she loves deeply. “Sweetheart, you’re safe. Are you in pain?” A lightly placed weight on her right hand squeezes ever so lightly to let her know that he’s sitting right by her.

“Not- badly.” Her voice sounds wrong to her. The raspiness of it is harsh against how right his sounds to her ears. There’s a sigh of relief that leaves his lips, that reveals to her that he could care less what her voice sounds like right now.

“Em, you were shot, no one would care if you admitted to being in pain right now. It’s not a weakness.” She opens her eyes to find his waiting for hers. 

“I don’t want to fall back asleep and that’s what the pain medicine will make me do.”

“As much as I like seeing your eyes open and awake, I’ll take them being asleep if it means you’re healing.”

“Aaron-”

“Emily, I thought I was going to lose you for the second time in a year and I don’t think I could handle that. Especially after hearing you say that you love me too. Feeling your blood on my hands and not being able to do anything to stop it-” Emily stops her best friend from saying things he might regret later.

“Hey, none of that. I didn’t die. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. If a table leg to the stomach can’t kill me, then a gunshot is definitely not going to get me today. So no deathly words that we can’t take back ok?” Aaron looks at her, his eyebrows pull together and his left eye twitches so slightly that if she wasn’t his best friend, she wouldn’t have caught it. “What?”

“Emily, you’re the most important person in my life besides Jack. I’m not saying this just because you got shot, I’m saying this because you need to know. I can’t lose you to the job like I lost Haley. I would never recover because there would be no reason to live without you. Would I go through the motions for Jack, sure. But would I ever be happy living without you? Never. I can’t thrive, I can’t survive without you. And I had to sit in another waiting room thinking I was going to have to live out the lie that I put the team through last year, but it would have been so much worse knowing that  _ we _ could have been more. There is no deathly words about this Em. I almost lost you, and I am so grateful I have you here with me.” He leans over to place the lightest of kisses on her lips and it’s her left hand to pulls his head closer to her. Her IV line drapes over his shoulder as she tries to hold him closer to her unsuccessfully. He places two quick kisses on her lips with a laugh before pulling back. “I’ll spend so many days kissing you Emily, but if your doctors come in to find your boss kissing you they might kick me out, seeing as I used that as my reason to stay.”

“You didn’t use the boyfriend card?” Emily asks, surprised he didn’t call that out at the first chance to stay with her.

“I didn’t want to claim you without your permission.” Aaron shrugs and Emily laughs unable to control it. “What?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just JJ already called you my boyfriend.” Aaron’s look is very similar to when Jack tried to blame his broken toy on Emily when Aaron and Emily were both out of the room when the toy broke. “She saw us holding hands and managed to get the fact that we kissed out of me before I was able to think about not sharing because it’s JJ. So I told her a lot of what happened, and I told her about my mental health. But when Dr. Cadwell held me at gunpoint she told him that my  _ boyfriend _ ,” Emily motions to Aaron with the hand that Aaron wasn’t holding, “was going to give him a shot between the eyes to end his day if that’s how her boyfriend walks in to me being held at gunpoint. So technically you didn’t have to ask me before you were given the title.”

“I’ll take the title if given the opportunity. And he did get a shot between the shoulder and neck for hurting you, but we kept him alive for hurting all those kids and we wanted to make sure we got Adam and Lillie back alive if possible.”

“The title was yours from the moment you told me you loved me and would keep loving me in any way you could have me” Emily lets out a yawn, which causes her side to pull at the stitches. “Motherfucker…” She mutters under her breath.

“What is it Em? What hurts?” Aaron is out of his chair in an instant and is checking over Emily from all angles.

“Just pulling at the stitches from taking in so much air. What is the diagnosis?” She looks at him knowing he’ll tell her the whole truth.

“The bullet lodged itself in your spleen so they had to remove the entire thing. You’re going to be here for the next three or so days so they can make sure everything is going well and then after that you’ll be able to go home. Recovery time is usually about four to six weeks and then after you get cleared by the doctor you can do desk work before traveling with the team. Until then you can stay with Jack and I while you heal or JJ, Morgan, Penelope, Rossi, and Reid have offered up their homes for you to heal.”

“So the whole team offered.”

“There was a whole discussion about the pros and cons about each location and so it’s in that order that each place be offered I was under the understanding.”

“And yours is first because?” Emily says with a teasing smile.

“Because it’s your boyfriend’s job to offer his up first.”

“And here I thought he was supposed to be my unit chief.” Emily says as she reaches a free hand to her side to feel the bandages that cover her upper left side.

“Let’s get something for the pain Emily, it will make your recovery quicker and easier. Plus the team will be here in the morning, so you want to get some rest before then.”

“They’re not here still?” Emily asks in actual confusion.

“Once you were out of surgery, they came and saw that you were alive and that we weren’t going to send you away again. Then your a-hole boss demanded that they all go get sleep at the hotel.” The corners of his mouth turn up with the last sentence. 

“You should have gone with them,” Emily’s hand runs along Aaron’s face without a thought behind it seeing the dark circles that were present with the fear and worry that had plagued him since he had watched Emily crumple to the ground nearly eight hours earlier. The five hours during surgery felt longer than humanly possibly since he had thought he might lose her again. The three hundred minutes felt like three hundred years as he wondered if Emily was bleeding out, if her organs were torn apart, if her heart had beat its last beat. But now seeing her hazel flecked eyes staring back at him, feeling her fingers draw small circles on his cheeks, he knew she was alive and starting the healing process they’d go through together. 

“I wasn’t going to leave you to wake up alone. Boss, best friend, boyfriend, or otherwise. I’m here until you leave the hospital.” 

“Aaron…” Her voice alone told him she didn’t agree with that statement. “I won’t be that much of a burden on your health.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“I won’t hear it. Not after you were just shot Em. You are never a burden on me. But especially not when you are hurt and in the hospital.”

“You need to sleep in a real bed though Aaron. Take a shower, eat some food. By refusing to leave until I do, you’re planning to stay in that chair to sleep until I leave?” Emily demands an answer.

“While the team is visiting tomorrow, I’ll go take a shower and a nap in a real bed, happier?” He concedes.

“Happier.”

“Now, let me take care of you and get you pain meds.”

“Wait,” Emily grabs tighter hold of his hand as he stands up.

“What is it?” Aaron sits down next to her on the bed, trying to figure out what was wrong.

“Nothing. Never mind.” Emily shakes her head, before releasing the hold on his hand. 

“Tell me sweetheart,” Aaron tilts his head, looking deeper into her eyes than she knew a person could.

“I just, uh, love you.” Emily bites her lip and Aaron can tell there’s something else that she wants to ask.

“I love you too, Emily.” Then Aaron remembers earlier in the day when Emily was helping him with his allergic reaction and he wants to give her the same comfort. “Do you need a kiss to make it better?” Emily looks at him with shock. “If it works for Captain Jack, why not for you?” Hearing her boyfriend use her nickname for his son was almost as shocking as the fact that he had read her mind for the thing she wasn’t sure if she could ask for.

“Yes, please.” Aaron leans towards Emily and kisses her softly, not wanting to hurt the woman who holds his heart.

“Never be afraid to ask for kisses or anything else. Always willing to give you anything Em, but especially kisses. And if they help with healing then definitely so.” He places a few more kisses on her lips before pulling back.

“No…” Emily whines softly. 

“As much as I want to keep kissing you too Em, I do want to get more pain medicine in you too. It will help you get better faster so we can get you out of here and home sooner.”

“Three days and then we will be home?”

“If you take the meds you need to.” Aaron says with a soft smile to let her know that he knows her hesitance to taking meds even when healing.

“Ok, go get the nurse so we can get home sooner.” Aaron places soft as angel wings kisses on her forehead before walking out the door to grab a nurse. 

Once he left the room though, everything that happened finally hit Emily. She was in the hospital again in just under three hundred and sixty five days, after going through surgery again, and Aaron thought he was going to lose her again. She had caused him pain again. Her breathing speeds up as her anxiety starts running through everything that had happened, all of the information Aaron had given her, the fact that she couldn’t even ask her own boyfriend to kiss her when she wanted it, on top of the fact that she was going to be staying with Aaron and Jack for four to six weeks while she healed. Why hadn’t she just taken a step back and avoided getting a bullet wound? Why hadn’t she thought through the profile and realized he was a killer? Why hadn’t she waited to continue going at him until JJ was there? Was she just not a good enough profiler to profile without another profiler there to help? 

“Em, look at me. Breathe. Take a deep breath.” Aaron’s voice pulls her from her thoughts and she finds herself staring into the eyes that had managed to pull her out of panic attacks before so she focused on him while she tried to lower her breathing. “You’re ok. Everything is going to be ok Em. I’m right here and I’m not leaving.”

“Aaron…” Emily couldn’t get much else out of her mouth except his name before the tears appear in her eyes.

“Emily can I wrap my arms around you to help you calm down? Nurse Sawyer needs you to calm down or she’s going to need to give you something to calm you down. Which will help more? Medicine or-”

“You.” Emily cuts him off before he gives the second option and she feels his arms around her shoulders almost immediately. She focuses on breathing with him and eventually she is able to calm down. “Sorry, about that.” Emily’s IV covered hand comes up to cover her face but Aaron’s intercepts it and pulls it into his before it makes it to its destination.

“You have nothing to apologize for Em. I should have remembered there’s a call button here so I didn’t have to leave.”

“Agent Prentiss, I would have been surprised if you didn’t have a freakout of some kind before the end of your time here. Being here is a weird experience in general so it’s ok. Plus you had an organ removed. Now I’m Nurse Sawyer as Agent Hotchner said. I’m your nurse for tonight and into the morning. Now we were able to get most of your information from your coworkers, but there were a few medicines that your coworkers didn’t know the specifics of. Agent Hotchner-”

“Aaron is fine, Nurse Sawyer.”

“Ok, Aaron then, mentioned you have some medicines you take for mental health?”

“Yes and Emily is fine as well. I take H ydrozine Pamote , Sertraline, and Latuda for my mental health.”

“All of those are easy to get for you so I’ll get those and a protein shake for you and then you can take your meds. Also I’m going to hook an IV of fluids, a morphine drip to help with the pain, and an antibiotic drip to help protect your body while you heal and since you don’t have a spleen anymore. I’ll be right back Emily.” The couple didn’t say anything for the first few moments after the nurse left, but then Emily turns ever so slightly towards her boyfriend.

“I think she might know you’re not just my boss now, babe.” The pet name, although she had never been huge on them in the past, just rolls off her tongue. Aaron hums and places a kiss in Emily’s hair. 

“I’m ok with that if you are Emily.”

“I think I like you being my boyfriend if you’re ok with it.” Emily feels Aaron tense up just slightly and starts back peddling. “You don’t have to be, but I just thought-”

“Emily, I was surprised, not upset. I told you already. I’m definitely ok with the idea, I just didn’t expect you to be ok with the idea yet. But I have wanted to be your boyfriend, your lover, your soulmate for years.”

“Life’s too short to not be honest about what you want. I think that’s what this past year had taught me.” Emily smiles as she says towards Aaron, unable to turn the rest of the way, “So I’m saying I want you to be with me in all and any ways from here on out.”

“I’d like that too Emily. So much.”


	10. Chapter 10

** “People cry not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” -Johnny Depp **

The next morning was a mixture of Aaron talking with her, which kept her calm despite being confined to the hospital bed, doctors and nurses coming in and out while taking different measurements, and eventually getting to the time when the team was allowed to visit. The first people through the door were Penelope and Reid, which was no surprise. 

“Emily Prentiss, I am so angry at you for getting hurt before your year mark like this, but seeing as you decided not to play dead this time I will let you off with a warning and mandatory girls nights with your favorite tech analyst.”

“Kevin wants to come to girls night?” Emily feigns confusion.

“Don’t even make me hurt you while you’re still healing.” Spencer didn’t say anything while this interaction happened, but just came over and hugs his big sister like friend. Soon the room was full of the remaining members of the team. JJ had brought Emily her zipper hoodie and a pair of sweats to change into after her shower since her doctor had said she could wear her own clothing even though she had to stay at the hospital. Morgan and Rossi both brought her books they had packed since Morgan brought a lighter option of Kurt Vonnegut while Rossi had a book in Italian that Emily suspected he actually went out and bought so she could keep her mind going since her body wasn’t allowed to move.

“You guys didn’t have to bring me anything. That’s too much.”

“It was nothing Princess. You would have done the same for any of us had we been in your position.” Morgan shrugs off her response.

“Emily, I’ll bring the rest of your go bag when I get back.” The whole team looks surprised that the dark haired chief even mentioned leaving her side. “Emily suggested I go take a shower and sleep for a bit in my bed while you all visit since I was woken up all the times they came in for vitals, even though she slept through it. The second SUV is downstairs anyway so you all can stay and visit and I’ll come back in a couple hours.” 

“Hotch, you could come back with us when we go back.” Reid suggests trying to save Aaron a trip, but not noticing how Emily tenses up at the thought of being there alone.

“I’m actually better with the idea of someone being with Emily while she’s stuck here. Otherwise she might try to break out of here with no one forcing her to stay and actually rest.” Emily’s taken by surprise to hear Aaron take the blame for why Aaron won’t go sleep at normal times in a bed instead of coming back to stay the night with her.

“A-Hotch if you want to go back with them tonight and sleep, I can stay one night without someone here and not break out I swear. Pretty sure I’m not cleared to leave the state anyway so breaking out of here doesn’t do much for me.” Aaron stares into her eyes and she has to drop his gaze since it’s too intense to keep staring at. 

“Em, we talked about it. Taking care of each other right?” Multiple pairs of eyebrows popped up, but neither dark haired agent said anything in response. “Your phone’s here. If you need me, call me.” He lifts her chin up so he can look into her eyes, “Ok?” She nods and he places the softest kiss on her lips. “Three hours, I’ll be back, ok?”

“Ok,” She breathes out her reply softly to him. She watches him walk away, not even noticing the other eyes on her until he’s turned the corner. “What?”

“Emily Prentiss, you have some explaining to do!” Penelope exclaims. “When did this happen and when should we expect beautiful dark haired little Hotchniss babies?”

“Hotch-ness?”

“It’s your ship name. How else would we set up the pool on when you would get together? All Aboard the SS Hotchniss, cutest ship to  _ finally _ set sail!”

“You all have been betting on Aaron and I?” Emily’s voice raises as she looks around the room spotting four guilty faces out of her five friends. “Explain. Now.”

“We just had a pool on how long after you coming back from the dead you two would get together. That’s why we kept setting you both up on awful blind dates. I mean honestly, Princess you went on four dates with that guy from my gym?! Why?!”

“Because I felt like it.”

“He’s literally gay.”

“I know. I set him up with one of my friends.”

“So who’s the winner of the pool?” Reid asks.

“Me.” Emily says before any of them can stipulate. “I win Aaron and the pool because none of you should have been betting on my relationship status to begin with and Aaron will agree with me.” The team thought about it and then didn’t disagree. Not only had Emily just taken a bullet, but the alpha male that lead their team would take on anyone that left his girlfriend upset, even if it was his entire team, and they knew it. “You all can pay for our dates, until I say otherwise.” She smiles at them all joking at her final statement on the issue at hand.

“Fine, no more Hotchniss bets understood.”

“Especially because Aaron won’t go so easy on all of you idioti,” Rossi says looking at the four that bet on the relationship that he knew would happen, he just didn’t bet money on it. “Emily is more generous than the man who would make your lives paperwork hell until your hands fall off.” Emily nods.

“But speaking of paperwork, did we get both kids back alive?” Emily asks, thinking back to the case at hand. 

“We did.” JJ’s smile resounds through the room as the others think about how happy it was reuniting the kids with the families. The rest of the hour the team stayed and talked with Emily passed quickly with them catching her up on everything that had happened in the twelve hours she had missed out on while she was out. Pictures of kids and pets were passed, plans were tentatively made for recovery time, and lunch was had. Eventually, Nurse Sawyer came in and kicked the team out to let Emily sleep. The team says their goodbyes apart from JJ, who holds back for a moment to talk with Emily in private. “Are you going to be ok until Hotch gets back?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to try and sleep some.”

“He meant it when he said you can call him and he’ll come back.”

“I know, but that won’t do any of us any good if he doesn’t at least get some sleep. He’ll just end up bringing case files or something to keep him from sleeping and then he’ll just over work.”

“Or you could just have him cuddle you.”

“I don’t think he’d do that while we’re here. The professional in him will say no.”

“Emily, he would say yes to anything that he thinks will help you.”

“But I know it would stress him out so I would never ask him that.”

“Asking him to cuddle is not the same as asking him to have sex with you while you’re in the hospital. I’m just saying you two could co-sleep and help each other. Because I bet money he’s not sleeping well being away from you while you’re here either.”

“JJ.”

“Fine, fine. I’m just mentioning it.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Just tell me you two at least have talked more than the last time we spoke about you both?”

“Why? You still trying to win that pot?”

“We could split the pot Emily, it’s pretty big at this point.”

“Or we could not bet on my relationship and you could just be happy that I have a boyfriend that cares for me like Will cares about you.”

“I am happy- WAIT Boyfriend?!”

“I’ll deny if you try to claim the pot.” Emily’s eyes start to droop before JJ has a chance to ask any more questions. And JJ can only smile at her friends antics as she leaves her friend to sleep.

An hour or so passes before Emily’s phone goes off. She picks it up without thinking and answers, thinking it’s Aaron. “Hey, when are you coming back?”

“It’s good to know you’re feeling better Emily Elizabeth. Seeing as you didn’t want to tell your own mother that you were dying. That’s so good to hear. Glad to know you’re not dead.” Emily’s eyes shoot open as she realizes who’s on the other end of the call.

“I don’t know how you found out Mother, but yes I am fine. The doctors took my spleen out but I will recover-”

“I found out because your boss told me. I don’t know why I wasn’t informed by you Emily. How would it have looked if I found out from one of your friends or worst from a paper or something? How would that have made me look as a mother? What about my career?”

“I don’t know Mother. I hadn’t thought about that since they took my spleen out yesterday. I’ve been focusing on healing a little bit so sorry I hadn’t called in the two hours I’ve been awake since I’ve been mostly sleeping to heal from losing an organ. I hadn’t thought about how it would make you look as a mother since you haven’t really been a mother since the time I had a panic attack and you passed me off to your security guard because you didn’t want to be seen with that.”

“Of course I passed you off when that happened Emily. Don’t be ridiculous. We were at a function and you were having a fit. I couldn’t handle that at that moment. That is why we took you to get some help from then on. And I shouldered that burden when needed. But honestly Emily I also had a career that I had to take care of on top of raising you. There was a lot that goes into being an Ambassador that I don’t think you fully understand and I’m sorry if the burden of your episodes didn’t take precedence all the time, but that’s just how it has to be sometimes. One day you’ll have children and you'll understand.”

“No, Mother I’ll never understand. Because if I am lucky enough to have children, they will never be a burden no matter what they are like. I just can’t believe you just called me a burden again.” And then Emily hung up not wanting to have to go through the motions all over again. When Emily reaches up to move her hair out of her face, she is surprised to feel wetness on her face from tears she didn’t realize she was crying.


	11. Chapter 11

** “It's addictive the minute you let yourself think, The things that I say just might matter to someone, All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away, And for the first time I think I'd consider the stay.”-Sara Bareilles **

Aaron was hoping when he got back to the hospital he would find Emily asleep, or find her reading the books that Morgan and Rossi had brought. He never imagined he’d find her sobbing. Especially when he could tell every sob is yanking at her stitches. With every breath, she tries to calm herself down so he won’t find her in tears again but she can’t make herself stop crying as the words she had heard so many times throughout her childhood were once again running through her mind at the speed airplanes take off at.

“Em?” He calls to her softly, trying not to surprise her in case she’s mid panic attack, but there’s something different about this Emily. When she looks up, he can tell what’s different; this Emily looks broken. Whatever- whoever caused Emily to hurt like this in the mere hours that he was gone, he wouldn’t stop until he ends them for hurting his Emily. But right now his focus is her. He needs her to not hurt. He also needs to make sure she doesn’t pull her stitches out since another day in the hospital because of pulled stitches will just hurt her soul more. The go bags in his hands are forgotten by the door as he races to pull her into his arms. “Em, sweetheart, what happened?”

As much as she wants to let him take away her pain, she doesn’t want to show him how damaged she truly is. She can’t be a burden to him too. It only took her mother a few years to realize how messed up she was, how long would it take him? The thought of that just brought fresh tears to her eyes and newly broken sobs to her lips. Aaron pulls her closer to him and runs a hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her.

“Emily, just talk to me. Please. I can’t just sit by and do nothing when clearly you’re suffering so much. You don’t need to do this to yourself or by yourself. I’m not going anywhere, but I want to help dry your tears. I just don’t know how to.”

“I’m… I’m…I’m sorry…” Emily whispers between the sobs that wrack her body.

“For what…?” Aaron has no idea what Emily is apologizing for. To his knowledge she hasn’t done anything to warrant an apology of any kind.

“Dragging… you… into my… my… shit.” Emily leans into his firm chest though it feels softer than the cold clinical world around her. As much as her mind tells her to push him away and save him from her shitty life, she just wants his arms to hold her close. Without even voicing her request, Aaron pulls Emily as close as he can to him.

“Emily, I want to be here with you. There is nothing you could say or do that could send me away. I told you, I’m not going anywhere, so will you let me help you with whatever it is that clearly hurts you so?”

“I don’t want to lose you.” She says into his chest, not wanting to look into his eyes and show the fear that is present there.

“You won’t.”

“You can’t promise that.” Emily’s eyes bore into his for a split moment before glancing around the room.

“Are you worried I’m going to get hurt Em? Or that I’m going to walk away? Because while you’re right, I can’t promise that I won’t get hurt, I can promise my hardest to stay safe on the job and I promise to come home to Jack and not walk away from you no matter what.”

“No. I mean, no that’s not what I meant…” Emily’s voice trails off as her anxiety cuts her off from sharing whatever is truly going on.

“If you would rather not talk about it Em, that’s ok too. But I’m here for you and nothing you say will ever send me away.” His hand runs lightly through her hair.

“I love you ok? Please believe me on that.” Emily brings a hand up to caress his face, hoping she could convey enough of her feelings.

“I know you do Emily and believe me, that’s one of the most beautiful things in my life.” He kisses the top of her head before wiping the few tears that fall from her eyes. “I love you too. So much my beautiful brown eyed girl.” He rubs a hand up and down her back in a soothing manner and holds her as close as he can without hurting her stitches. Seeing her upset and not being able to chase away her fears, anxieties, or whatever was making her upset sat near the forefront of his mind, but Aaron tries to at least push that from showing on his face. There’s no reason to make Emily think he was upset with her when in reality it’s just his stubborn pride wanting to be able to do anything for her, whether she wanted him to or not. But if all he could do was hold her, then that is what he would do. And that must have been enough for her too, because he felt her arms wrap around his waist as well as she could and he felt her slightly relax just from his touch.

Neither dark haired agent knew how long they sat in each others arms. However after some time passes, Aaron felt Emily’s breathing return to normal patterns and he felt her shoulders relax. “Thank you,” Emily mumbles into his shirt, not lifting her head from it’s place on his chest. His leg had long gone to that tingly place of sleep from how he was sitting, but he didn’t mind if it made her feel comfortable. He didn’t know what he was being thanked for, but he felt like he should be thanking her for allowing him to see her in her weakest moments, for letting him hold her, comfort her, be there for her.

“I love you Emily.” Emily’s eyes found his and he could see part of her lip was pulled between her bottom teeth. His hand reaches for her face subconsciously and she leans into it almost without thinking. 

“I love you too.” He leans down ever so slightly to place the softest of kisses on her lips and as he pulls away he can’t help but smile, thinking back to when he kissed her last. “The team almost killed me when they found out about us, but they weren’t surprised.”

“I’ll protect you.”

“Oh my protective Alpha Male. Whatever would I do without you? Especially since they’re going to keep trying to get the answer of who wins the pot out of us.”

“Excuse me?”

“They’ve been betting on when  _ Hotchniss _ would get together and I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of an answer since well,” Emily hides her face in Aaron’s chest and mumbles her answer to where he couldn’t actually catch what she said.

“Wait? Hotchniss? And what was that last part?” He cups her face so gently and lightly nudges it back towards him.

“Apparently Garcia has decided we’re the Bradagelina of the FBI and needed a ship name as well as I believe her exact words were we’re now ‘All Aboard the SS Hotchniss, cutest ship to  _ finally _ set sail!’.” She also explains, “Everyone but Rossi was part of some betting pool that was placed starting from the time I came back from the dead to see how long it would take for the two of us to get together and that’s why everyone kept setting me up on ridiculous dates. They figured if they pushed me towards awful guys eventually you would get jealous and push for your turn.”

“And that last part?” Emily says nothing to her boyfriend but her face goes beet red. “Now I definitely want to know.”

“Iwouldn’torwellcouldn’tgivethemthesatisfactionofanaswerofwhenwegottogetherbecausewehaventactuallygottentogether.” Emily’s words ran together as they did when her anxiety about sharing something with him was extremely heightened, but the more time he spends with this Emily, his Emily, the more he was starting to be able to understand her jumbled words.

“Emily are you saying you wouldn’t give them an answer because you feel we haven’t gotten together?” Aaron’s eyebrow cocks up suggestively. “Because Agent Prentiss, I promise you there are certain restrictions that have been in place for the past few days that if not for them, that wouldn’t have been the case? But if you want we can literally have a date of hospital food.” His thumb traces from her forehead down to her chin. “But if you mean getting together in a sexual manner, there is nothing on my end stopping me from taking you  _ right now _ ,” He growls the last two words, “except that you are hurt Emily and your body needs to heal. Trust me, I’ve wanted you in every way for years. And the way you flirted with me in the police station the other day affected me in the way you meant for it to.” Knowing he couldn’t show her all the ways he wanted her while she was hurt, he pulls her towards him and claims her lips once again, but this time he tries to show her how he feels through his kisses. “I. Want. You. I. Love. You.” He says between kisses. He can feel his body reacting to just their kisses and he knows he has to back away from the kisses or he will regret starting something they can’t finish now. He pulls back and Emily tries to follow but when her moan turns to a hiss of pain, he catches her body and lowers her back to the bed. “Emily, I’m sorry. That was stupid of me to start this when we shouldn’t right now. Not while you’re hurt.”

“It’s not your fault Aaron. My body is shitty right now.”

“It’s not your fault either Em. You didn’t fire the gun.”

“Still, I wanna be able to make out with my boyfriend and not hiss in pain because I want to continue the make out when his stubbornness tries to end the kiss before I want him to.”

“Your boyfriend isn’t ending the kiss because he wants to. He’s ending it before he embarrass himself in front of you before you even get one night together. I don’t want to be a minute man in your mind.” Aaron doesn’t feel like he needs to hide his feelings from the woman sitting in front of him because he loves her.

“Wait, you stopped-”

“Because you turn me on so much Emily. Yes.” Aaron’s gaze had the intensity of one thousand suns, but the gentleness of pure love at the same time. “And if that’s just from kissing, then making love is going to be a new experience from anything I’ve experienced.”

“Do we have to call it making love though? That phrasing is not something I usually call it?”

“And what would you usually say?” Aaron had an idea, but he wanted to hear from Emily.

“Fucking?” Emily says, with one eyebrow raises.

“Emily, I don’t ‘fuck’. Because I won’t be fucking your body, your soul, or even just you, if that’s even a thing as just you. I expect to spend time loving your body, loving your soul, loving you. That’s why I call it making love. Because the act itself is a sign of loving you. And I already know I plan to love you for the rest of my life. So I want to physically show you how much I love you every time I make love to you. Can I?” Emily chokes the feelings that Aaron brings out of her down, before nodding. “As soon as you’re better I plan on showing you how much I plan on loving you forever.”

“I love you and plan to make love to you too.” Emily’s hand reaches to his face and pulls him to her so she can kiss him. Soon though her hand starts moving and it moves as if it has a mind and plan of its own as it caresses his neck, chest, abdomen, and starts to make the final movements down towards his tightening region. But Aaron grabs her hand before she can make it to her hand’s destination. When this kiss ends, it’s Emily whos ending it. “Aaron- I want to help you.”

“If you can’t have any pleasure right now, I can wait out without. It’s unfair that I would get to be satisfied and you wouldn’t.” He kisses her lips once more before continuing. “Emily I waited through all of the awful dates and hookups that you went on. I can wait until you’re healed enough for us to have our first night together.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you on this earth, but I’ll take it.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve getting a second chance to prove I’m worth getting a relationship worth having.” Aaron replies. “But I’ll spend every day proving I deserve you Emily.”

“My mother.”

“If you’re trying to kill my hard on, it’s working.” Aaron says with a groan. Emily’s face has that light smile that Aaron loves on it now and she shakes her head.

“No. When you came in.” Suddenly Aaron’s mind let go of all conversations they had been having besides this one. “She, uh, called while you were at the hotel.”

“She’s the reason you were upset?”

“I usually don’t pick up when she calls.” Emily avoids the question but works on focusing on the story she realizes she wants to share with the man that doesn’t feel worthy of her- the burden. “But I was napping and I heard my phone buzzing and I thought it was you. So I picked up without looking and then her voice was on the other end instead of yours. She found out I was in the hospital and all she could do was go on and on about how I was ruining her life and how could I not be more considerate to her-”

“She got mad at you for being in the hospital?!” Aaron starts getting angry, realizing why his girlfriend had been sobbing when he came in.

“No.” Emily’s lips purse as she tries to come up with the right words. “She got mad because I wasn’t being considerate of her career. Which made me call her out on the fact that her child has never taken precedence over her career. And then she asked if I could consider the career that she had to take care of on top of raising me. And then she said she was sorry if the burden of my ‘episodes didn’t take precedence’ all the time, but that’s just how it has to be sometimes. Before telling me that one day I’ll have children and I'll understand.”Emily’s knees are suddenly a very important visual focal point as she finished her story and Aaron takes a deep breath before he asks her the question that plagued his mind.

“And what did you say back to her?”

“I said if I am lucky enough to have children, they will never be a burden no matter what they are like. Before calling her out for calling me a burden again.” Emily still wouldn’t look up at Aaron. “I don’t know if it’s the right thing. But I’ve seen how you act with Jack or JJ with Henry and you both seem so in love with your children that I can’t imagine not being totally in love with a child. I don’t understand, but maybe I am a burden to her. But I would spend my entire life proving to my children that they weren’t burdens because no child, no matter their age should feel like a burden.

“I agree Emily. I don’t know how your mother can be so cruel to you, even now when you can call her out for being so hateful to you. But she shouldn’t make you feel so inferior, because you are one of the best people I know, and if you are ever blessed with children, and while I hope they are mine, I hope either way that I can see you raise loving, beautiful children. But also I’ve seen you with Jack, and I already can tell that you would be a wonderful mother to any children.”

“Well Aaron, if I get to a point that I want children to come from my body, you would be the first option for fathers.”

“Please tell me I’ll be the only option.”

“I mean have you see Morgan? That would be the genetic lottery for children. Also there’s Reid if I want a genius. Or Rossi if I want a rich baby daddy. Oooo or I could take up my friends offer for SugarDaddyMe.com!” Emily watched how her joking words took serious effect on her boyfriend’s alpha male tendencies.

“No.” Her boyfriend single word comes out as a growl. 

“Are you not ok with my other options?”

“Mine.” He growls as he claims her lips again. “All. Mine.” He places multiple kisses on her lips between the words to lay claims of sorts. “No old men. No other team members. Mine.”

“All yours.” She sighs in reply as she places soft kisses on his lips, cheeks, and any other parts of his face she could reach. “Also I know we can’t do anything, but I do need to take a shower and wash my hair, so can you help me make sure everything is clean?” Emily normally would worry for weeks about showing a new guy her scars, but Aaron was different. He was her best friend who turned into her boyfriend. She knew he loved her, even if she didn’t always love herself.

“What?” Aaron’s voice goes up a couple octaves.

“I need help with my shower, especially with the stitches and IV, and I’d rather it be you than a nurse help me. Plus then I can change from the disgusting hospital gowns into my own clothing finally.”

“So you’re asking if I want to see you naked but also touch you?” Emily smiles coyly before nodding.

“Think of it as helping us both get through a dry spell we didn’t plan on. Plus you might find out there are parts of me that still work for making love even if others have to wait.”

“Are they going to be ok with us being in the shower together?” Aaron asks, thinking more as her boss than her boyfriend.

“Who knows. But I say lets do it, and find out after if they care or if they even find out. If not, then we don’t have anything to worry about in the future.”

“The future?”

“Cases, hotels, Jack staying the night at Ms. Emily’s, just thinking of a few off the top of my head.” Aaron is shocked by how casual Emily could mention how she wants to love him. 

“We can definitely give almost all of those a shot.” Emily’s eyebrow cocks up, questioning the almost. “Cases? Agent Prentiss- what would your boss say if he knows you plan to run off in the middle of cases to have some fun with your boyfriend?”

“Well I just assume Agent Hotchner can show me the errors of my way in his office or in the back of an SUV. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about us getting too hot and bothered to even make it home that we end up in the backseat of the SUV, showing each other just how much we love each other,  _ sir. _ ” Emily’s flirty purse of her lips shows she knows exactly what she is trying to do to Aaron.

“You are going to kill me Emily if you keep talking like that. Especially when I can’t show you how much just how much I love you right now.” Aaron’s lips attach to her pressure point and Emily has a feeling that there will be a mark claiming that she is his tomorrow.

“I did just invite you to take a shower with me. You can show me some tricks in there.” Emily suggests, already feeling what Aaron can do with his tongue.

“Not until you’re better Emily.” Aaron pulls back and looks at Emily. “I don’t want to hurt you more sweetheart.”

“I can tell you if I hurt?” Emily suggests.

“Em you groaned and hissed when we went too far kissing.”

“No, that was from lack of not moving farther,” Emily tries to deny her pain but Aaron does know her. Aaron doesn’t have to say anything; he just tilts his head and raises his eyebrows staring at her for a moment or two in disbelief. “Ok, fine, maybe I was the tiniest bit sore.”

“The tiniest bit sore?” Aaron asks, knowing if he pushes eventually she will admit she is in the smallest bit of pain.

“Yes the tiniest bit sore.”

“Sore but not hurting? Even though you had surgery nearly 24 hours ago?”

“Mmmhmmm.” Emily doesn’t form actual words knowing that Aaron can sense she’s not letting on to her actual pain levels.

“Really Em? You must be a superhero not to feel the pain.” Aaron looks straight into her eyes and she knows he can tells she’s not being honest.

“Fine, ok, I might have a little pain.”

“Em, you don’t have to lie about your pain level. I’ve seen you in the field and at home. I know you are my stunningly beautiful kickass girlfriend. But you also had surgery 24 hours ago. If you need pain meds, you need pain meds. Let me take care of you ok?” Emily takes a calming breath before nodding to the man that holds her heart. 

“Ok. Take care of me.”


	12. Chapter 12

**“Because you matter to me, Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody, You matter to me, I promise you do, you, you matter too, I promise you do, you see?,You matter to me.”-Sara Bareilles**

The next couple days passed without much commotion. The team was at the hospital for visits that allowed them to keep Emily from breaking out while also allowing them to see Aaron interact with Emily in a boyfriend esque manner that they were all trying to get used to seeing. It was an unusual manner to see their boss in, since none of them were used to seeing him looking so in love. Dave Rossi knew the dark haired pair of profilers was destined to be, but the way they moved and talk as if they were the polarities of each others world was something he had yet to see with few other couples. It was as if these too were meant to be with one another and no other partner would ever compare with this relationship. But there was also something else that Dave couldn’t place. It was in the way that Emily leaned into Aaron at moments when he would expect her to fight back against Morgan’s teasing words, or the way that she looked towards Aaron before answering something. It was almost as if Emily was anxious about something. If there was something going on Aaron would get to the bottom of it, but it still worried Dave to see something so off in the woman who Dave thinks of as a daughter. 

“Well if this isn’t a party.” Emily’s doctor had only met the team in bits and pieces so seeing the whole team all together was a full house.

“They’re keeping Emily from breaking out of here before she’s allowed to.”

“I told them I wasn’t going to escape from here easily.” Emily and Aaron joke easily with Emily’s doctor as they had gotten to know the young man fairly well over the past 72 hours.

“Well it seems like you actually are going to be getting out of here in the next couple hours.” Emily’s face was shocked.

“Really?”

“Your stitches are healing, you’re able to shower alone or with help whichever you’re more comfortable with, and your vital signs and blood work are all normal. I think you are ready to get home.” Emily and Aaron wore expressions that match the rest of the team with excitement. 

“And I can fly correct?” Emily asks wanting to get back home as soon as possible.

“You’re far enough away from surgery that you should be fine. But if anything changes come back or visit your doctor back home.”

“I will.” Dave, JJ, and Aaron step out in the hallway to discuss getting the jet up in the air relatively soon, while Morgan, Reid, and Penelope stay with Emily. 

“Ready to go home Princess?” Morgan says with his brighter than the sun smile.

“I’ve been ready since before we got here.”

“Well you can spend time with me and Jack while the team travels.” Penelope throws out and Emily realizes she has weeks until she will be flying with the team again.

“Aw Garcie I don’t want to keep you from the cases. The team will need you- we can’t survive without you and we know it.”

“But you’re stuck out of the office for four to six weeks. You’ll hate being stuck at home for that long.”

“Maybe Hotch will let me come back and do paperwork.” All three sets of eyes popped up with her saying Aaron’s nickname versus his given name. “Ok, you guys are weirded out no matter what name I use so…” Emily flicks the worry off of the real concern in her head. She pushes the thoughts from her head so it doesn’t become apparent on her face. Aaron chose this moment to walk into the room with the other two agents and all three could sense the small tension filling the room.

“What’s going on?” Aaron looks only at Emily as he questions them, trying to figure out if something’s wrong.

“They’re weirded out if I call you Hotch, if I call you Aaron, and if I call you my boyfriend it’ll be worse I bet you.” Emily says and Aaron wraps an arm around her shoulder. Seeing her sitting up and leaning towards him diminishes his worry that something was wrong. The team was still feeling out their shifting relationship. There is something that still felt off between them, but Aaron decides it must be the hospital room and nothing more than that. Meanwhile Emily throwing out the word boyfriend throws all the profilers in the room into talking about the pot that none of them will win without one of members of the dark haired couple confirming the relationship start date to confirm the winner. Emily has tuned them out and is downloading songs to her phone from her Google Play account. Aaron sees a mix of music he recognizes as he sits down next to her, but then a bunch of albums that not only does he not recognize the album cover, but he can’t recognize the language of the title. 

“Wait is that Russian?”

“Nice try, but it’s Greek. The characters are more square for Russian. Um,” Emily scrolls past a couple more albums and then finds one. “See? They have a bit more of a block like look to some of the characters? I don’t know how to explain it other than that. I learned Greek before Russian so the letters look blockier to me because of that.”

“What’s the title of this one?” Aaron points to the album she had pulled up to show him Russian, that she added in it’s entirety to her playlist.

“привет, моя любовь which translates to Hello, My Love. It’s one of my favorite albums they released. The Band is звезды не могут сиять без темноты and that translates to Stars Can’t Shine Without Darkness. I found them in a pub in Moscow during one of my mother’s postings in Russia. I really clicked with their first album and now every time they release a new album I’ll download it because it usually is just what I need in that moment.”

“Do you listen to music in all the languages you speak?” JJ’s voice throws the couple as they forgot there were other people in the room for a moment. “Sorry, I just found it interesting to listen to. I never really could pick up another language like you could and I didn’t realize a lot of the music on your phone was in other languages.”

“It’s ok Jayje. I do listen to music in most of the languages I speak, especially if it’s a language I learned by living in the country. So for example Russian, Spanish, Italian, Greek, Arabic and French I learned by emmersian. So all of those I have at least a few albums and random songs I enjoy. I also have a bunch of random songs in English obviously. But the languages that I’m still working on and only know a little bit of I don’t usually have as much music in because I don’t know as much of the language. But I’m working on German right now so I listen to their music to help pick up more of the language.”

“You’re learning German?” Aaron asks.

“For fun?” Morgan tacks on.

“Du kannst mich am arsch lecken!” Rossi and Reid laugh, being the only ones in the room able to pick up the context from their knowledge of other languages, they were the only ones able to tell that she told them to kiss her ass.

“Never insult someone, even by accident, when they can insult you in eight languages Morgan.” Reid throws at his big brother type friend.

“What did you say?” Morgan demands.

“Oh nothing arsch.” Emily coyly smiles at him hiding the fact that she had merely called him an ass in German . JJ’s phone goes off at the same time Dave’s does and they both look at the group.

“The jet will be ready for us in two hours. But of course we won’t leave until Emily is completely discharged.” JJ explains.

“Since I brought Emily and my go bag’s here, everyone else head back to the hotel and pack up. Emily and I will wait for her doctor to finish up her discharge paperwork and then we will meet you at the airstrip as soon as we can.” Aaron says and everyone nods in agreement. “Then we will see you all in roughly two hours.”

“Sounds good, we will take the one SUV and the other has gas and is good to go for the two of you, just don’t use it for any extracurriculars on the way. We don’t want to sit around waiting for you both while you get creative in the backseat.” Dave says with a wink. 

“Du hast einen Vogel.” Emily’s face is flushed with the thought of what Dave is suggesting, knowing that their literal soaping of each others backs in the showers is as far as they can go for a while. Telling Dave that he’s nuts in the way that Germans usually do with each other is the easiest way to tell him off.

“I have a… Vogel. That’s one I don’t know too well.”

“Bird?” Reid adds. Emily nods.

“Literal translations don’t work as well with that one.” Reid pulls out his phone and types a few things into a search engine. Everyone thinks about it for a while trying to figure out the reason Emily would tell Rossi he had a bird while Reid giggles to himself.

“What’s so funny pretty boy?” Morgan demands, still wondering what Reid knows now about him and Rossi.

“It’s nothing Morgan, I just like this German side of Emily.” He then turns to Emily and says, “Ich liebe dich”

“Ich liebe dich honigbiene” Emily loves that Reid and her share a love for languages. It makes each new language a new challenge that she can put Reid up too as well. He likes knowing why certain sentences work like she does and why certain wordings can’t function like you think they would. It’s why their friendship works so well. The buzz around for each little bit of knowledge of the language and that’s why she can call her little brother type profiler her honey bee in German. The rest of the group rolls their eyes at the love of languages that their friends share since they all for the most part aren’t a part of it. It’s a trait that is part of just Emily and Reid’s friendship, although Italian is saved for her and Rossi.

“Non lasciarmi fuori. Ti amo anch'io.” Rossi smiles at her, wanting her to know no matter what was stressing her out, he was here and he loves her.

“Ti amo anch’io.”

“Ok, ok, I know that amo means love or is the route of it or something and I wanna say I love you too before we head out.” Penelope throws out, even if it’s only in English.

“I love all off you too.” Emily means it and knows that the squeeze of Aaron’s hand on hers is him telling her he loves her too, but doesn’t want their love to be the groups knowledge yet. And honestly Emily is glad he didn’t say it in front of the group. Emily smiles at the group as they walk out the door, but little do they know the ideas pulsing through her thoughts. Four to six weeks trapped in DC to heal seems like such an impractical thing when she could be traveling. Deep down she knows it’s the impulsive nature of the manic side of her bipolar disorder that is coming into play, but her doctor had cleared her for traveling. Aaron, on the other hand, wanted her to stay at his apartment for four to six weeks with him and Jack and lay in bed and play house and not do anything basically. That idea of spending the next month and a half terrifies her. The idea of sitting around doing nothing was going to make her snap at Aaron and possibly Jack while it already made her itch to get up and do anything. Aaron was across the room picking up clothing that she had put in a pile when she took them off for her shower earlier today. She gets up and walks across the room. “I can do that.” She say at him, each word laced with hostility as she continues, “You don’t have to pack my bags. I’m not an invalid person.”

“I know that sweetheart. I just wanted to help you, but if you would rather pack these, I can take care of my pile in the bathroom.” He smile at her softly. “I love you Emily. And I’m sorry I didn’t say that in front of the team. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But if I made you upset by not saying it I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention. Je t’aime. J’adore.” Emily blinks back tears and shakes her head.

“I’m sorry. It’s not that at all. It’s this fucking hospital room. I’m already feeling trapped and the feeling of doing nothing is getting to me. I love you. And I love that you used your high school French, I do.” Emily pulls her phone out and pulls up a favorited photo on her phone of a sheet her psychiatrist gave her of the symptoms of bipolar that they had marked up during her therapy session the day she was diagnosed. She takes a deep breath and forwards it to Aaron. Aaron glances at his screen but doesn’t open it. “That’s the most prevalent symptoms I feel and if I snap at you or am hostile, I want you to know its not always because you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it’s my brain not wanting to function correctly. It’s literally fucking with me on a day to day basis and Robert and I are working to get it right.”

“Ok.”

“Just ok?”

“Emily, I told you before we became an us, I will love any part of you that you will give me because you have my heart already. I’m grateful that you feel you can share this with me. This is something that is intense and hard to deal with and I will be with you for anything. Sweetheart I’m so proud of you for how strong you’ve been. And I can help you carry the load if you want. The only thing I ask is on your bad days, come to me. Even if you don’t want to talk, or don’t want me to do anything. Let me be there for you in the ways I can? If it gets to the point of violence or something worse like this list says, let me help you get help? Can you let me help you share the weight?”

“I can, but I need you to know there are times that I need to take a step back and do things because my brain says I need to ok? I know it won’t always make sense to you and it might not always make sense to me either but I need to do certain things to get my brain to calm down.”

“Ok, but Em, be honest please. Are you planning on running or something instead of coming home with me when we get to back?”

“Honestly… I don’t have a plan yet.” Emily watches Aaron’s face fall ever so slightly. “It’s not you or the idea of staying with you. It’s the idea of having a month and a half of being stuck in one place and not traveling and not doing something to keep me going. And I said maybe coming in and working on files with Garcia and she said that you would make me stay home until I’m completely cleared to come in.”

“Is the idea of not being able to work for a month and a half too similar to Paris? Is that why it’s stressing you out?” Emily’s heart skips a beat with him knowing her so well and he offers his arms to her. She retreats to the solaces she has become so comfortable in for the past few days. With her head resting against his chest where she feels like she can hide some of her emotions, she nods slowly. “What can I do to help you so it doesn’t stress you out?”

“I… I don’t know yet.”

“Can we try to come up with something together?” Aaron keeps trying to catch Emily’s eyes, but her eyes are looking everywhere but at his.

“Let me think about it til we get back?” Emily asks, knowing already what his answer would be since he said already he would do anything for her.

“Of course Emily. There’s no rush for you to make a decision.” The already purchased plane ticket for one said otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are done! So I have two weeks off before my next semester starts at Zoom University.   
> Lizzy


	13. Chapter 13

** “Sometimes letting things go is an act of greater power than defending or holding on.” -Eckhart Tolle **

The team beat Emily and Aaron to the plane, but seeing as they were checking out a hotel while the dark haired pair was waiting for discharge papers, it made sense that they beat them. Finishing signing all of her paperwork, filling all of her prescriptions for heading home, and packing the remainder of her go bag while trying to think through the decision her brain wanted her to impulsively make, while her heart told her to protect the heart of the man who had stayed with her at the hospital, is giving her a migraine. When they got to the plane, JJ is blasting her music over the speakers in the cabin but Aaron notices Emily wincing as they walk into the cabin so he switches it off as they walk by, not caring if it makes the blonde profiler a little upset. 

“I need to focus on paperwork and Emily is probably going to fall asleep as soon as she takes her meds so everyone listen to their music with headphones please.” Emily’s eyes catch his, but she doesn’t say anything as she doesn’t want to call him out for covering for her. He mentions softly by her ear as he walks her to the couch in the back, “I bought you migraine medicine, it’s in the side pocket of your go bag. You always get a migraine when you get out of the hospital and I figured today would be no different.”

“Hotch, you missed the tables if you’re trying to get work done.” His nickname slips out as she thinks of his work personality. 

“Well Agent Prentiss, I can read case files while making sure my girlfriend is sleeping comfortably.”

“Aaron…” Emily looks at him and he can practically already hear the argument coming.

“Emily, no one is going to judge, or care that you want to sleep or that I want to hold you after they saw us in the hospital for the past three days. Your doctor made a comment about us showering together and the team didn’t say anything. So either the team is respecting the fact that we decided our friendship was worth taking to the next level, or their waiting until you’re back to one hundred percent to use their teasing words. Either way, they aren’t going to care and your boss is really not going to care since he is the one who wants to hold you.” Emily smiles at him. 

“Fine,” She concedes, her migraine taking her fight away for the moment. She also knows deep down that if she listens to her mind she’s going to take herself away from Aaron for the time she’s healing so she can go on an adventure. So she might as well take advantage of her boyfriend holding her before he gets mad at her or however he reacts. “But I don’t want to lay down right now. I’ve been sleeping for more time than I’ve been awake the past four days. Can we just sit upright for a little bit first?”

“I think that sounds like a plan. Also just think, tonight we can sleep in the same bed instead of a crappy hospital bed and a chair beside it.” 

“Hmmmm.” That wasn’t the answer Aaron was expecting, but based on the conversation in her hospital room, that was a better answer than a refusal. “Hey boyfriend of mine?” Emily’s playful tone catches Aaron slightly off guard but hearing her call him her boyfriend makes him smile.

“Yes my love?”

“I’m lacking in Vitamin You I think. I haven’t been kissed in at least a couple hours.”

“Well we better fix that. Don’t want you to get sick from a deficiency.” Aaron pulls his girlfriend into his arms and kisses her not even caring that they’re standing in the middle of the jet. They hadn’t made it all the way to sit down even before stopping. Aaron’s hand curls into Emily’s hair just like he had this morning in the shower. Emily’s arms wrap around Aaron’s waist and move slightly lower as she pulls herself closer to Aaron as the kiss deepens. 

“I hate to interrupt-” Dave’s voice comes from behind the couple but neither looks to see why he’s there.

“Then. Don’t.” Aaron says between kisses. His arm that was wrapped around Emily’s shoulder blades pulls her even closer.

“-well I still have to. The captain says he can’t take off until everyone is seated. He also requests that no one joins the mile high club tonight. There’s supposed to be a lot of turbulence on this flight.”

“Fottiti, il dottore dice che non posso avere i miei modi selvaggi con lui fino a quando non mi sono completamente ripreso. Ma se non smetti di scherzare, potrei semplicemente dare ad Aaron il miglior pompino in bagno, quindi devi immaginarlo per il resto del volo. Se fai un'altra battuta sulla mia vita sessuale mentre sono sessualmente frustrato e ti limiterò a tagliare i tuoi preziosi gioielli?” Dave’s eyes became very wide and then Emily smiles softly pretending that her threat to cut off his family jewels if he made another joke about them having sex when she and Aaron literally weren’t allowed too. The added line about taking Aaron into the bathroom had giving him a treat was more for her than for Dave, but it would get Dave to leave them alone for a bit. 

“Pardon me. I’ll go sit down and once we all sit down then the captain can take us home.” The whole team had no idea what Emily had said to get Dave to back off, but now they all wanted to figure out. Aaron pulls Emily to sit on the couch with him away from the rest of the team, partially for her reason of his ability to hold her upright, but also in hopes that eventually she would fall asleep on the flight. Once they both sat down he pulled her close and her charcoal sweatpant covered legs get pulled over his in a heartbeat and she is instantly pulled close to him. He hands her the migraine medicine to help kick the pounding he knows has to be going on behind her beautiful caramel drizzled eyes. She takes his coffee out of his hand while grabbing the medicine and downs both. She licks a drop of coffee that starts to drop off the edge of the to go cup’s lid. Aaron’s imagination was already running with other ideas of what her tongue could probably do if they didn’t have a four to six week restriction on consummating their relationship. He can’t control himself as he practically growls into her ear.

“Do you know how incredibly sexy it is to hear you tell him to fuck off in another language?”

“How do you know I didn’t tell him to meet me in the bathroom in 45 minutes to have sex with me?” She watches as his face goes from flirty to protective and jealous in milliseconds.

“Nope.”

“Nope?” She questions, but they both know her questions are her continuing her jokes. “What if I’m going for my sugar daddy?”

“M.I.N.E. Mine.” He places the lightest of kisses on her lips as he spells out his feelings for her. “No sugar daddy needed. I’ll provide for you if you really want that lifestyle.” Emily wants to continue joking with him, but he stops her by pushing the kiss further. He won’t let them go any farther than kissing and the innocent touching in the shower, but Emily wants to push him over the edge just a bit. So when they pull away for air, Emily decides to tease him with telling him what she said in Italian.

“You know what I told Dave?”

“Do I really want to know?” He asks, pushing he waving hair behind her ear and placing soft kisses on her cheek.

“Well let’s see, first I told him to fuck off, and I explained that I can’t have my wicked way with you because of those awful doctors, but then I let him know if he wanted to keep joking I’d take you off to the bathroom and give you the world’s best blowjob so you could join the mile high club, and just to push him a little farther I told him if he made more jokes while I’m sexually frustrated I would cut his precious jewels off.” Emily could tell her words affected him, as he had to shift the smallest bit towards the back of the couch. “Does that excite you Aaron? The idea of me pulling you, all of your big, long  _ cock _ ,” She whispers these words to him so he’s the only one hearing the words meant only for him, “in to my wet and ready mouth?”

“Emily, sweetheart. Please. Not here. Later maybe. But not in the middle of the jet. We can’t. Not now remember?”

“Aaron,” She mews.

“You heard your doctor and I want to make sure you health comes first.”

“What about my sexual health?” 

“Em-ILy.” Her name becomes two very distinct words even though his voice never raises above a whisper. “Trust me I want you so much. We’ve talk about how much I want you.”

“And yet you touched me like it was nothing just this morning.” Emily says dismissing him while also reminding him of the causal times they’ve been showering together. “If you don’t want to help me with my needs, I can find someone else. There are plenty of others that would help me. I’d rather it be you.” 

“EM-ILY. I. Want. You. So. Goddamn. Much. Sit on my lap and I’ll show you if you don’t believe me.” Aaron was gritting his teeth to keep from screaming out how much he wanted the frustrating brunette lounging next to him. He was pretty sure the words coming out of her mouth were because of her mental health, but he wasn’t going to just throw that at her. He would argue with her until the end of time if that’s what it took.

“Prove. It.” This Emily was reckless, but if this is what is took to prove it to her, that he would hold her closer than he already was. He would never say no to holding his Emily close to him. So he pulls her into a kiss and from that kiss pulls her into his lap. They both know its not going to go any farther than what they are already doing, but from the wolf whistles and cheers from the front of the plane, the team was rooting for it to go farther. The pair of profilers broke their kiss and Emily, not moving from her spot on his lap, hid her face in his chest. Aaron feigns guilt so he could turn his face into her hair. His arms wrap even tighter around her and holding her tighter to his body he know she can feel just how much he wants her too.

“Do you see how much I want you now?” He feels Emily nod into his chest and then she turns to kiss his lips again, once, twice.

“I knew it deep down, but it helps being reassured. Thank you for putting up with me.”

“Emily, if making out with you, showing how much I want you and making love to you as soon as I’m allowed to is what you need to know that I love you, then I will show you forever. But I hope over time I can show you that that’s not all that is a part of love. And I’m not ‘putting up with you.’ I love you. You have my heart forever.”

“Forever is a long time. You might want to make sure you know what you’re committing to before you say that.”

“I’m committing to you Emily. That’s why I can say forever. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it from now until forever if you want me too. I’m in love with my best friend, my girlfriend, my one and only, my love, my Emily, forever.” And even hearing his words repeating again, Emily still couldn’t convince her brain that staying, and staying stationary was better than the impulsive thoughts that were running through her head. Emily can’t bring herself to say anything back, so she leans her head down to rest on his shoulder. She places three kisses on his neck without having to move her head very far. 

“I love you too.” She kisses his neck once more not lifting her head at all, her eyes getting heavy with sleep as her migraine medicine finally kicks in. 

“Sleep Em. I’ll hold you, it’s ok.” Aaron wraps a blanket around them. “Do you want to listen to music while you sleep?” Emily shakes her head. 

“Aaron, I can lay down and you can go work, it’s ok. I’ll be fine, I’m just going to sleep.”

“Em, I don’t want to work. I want to hold you. I want to know your safe and protected and in my arms. It’s for me as much as it’s for you. If you’re ok with it, that is.” Emily nods, not having much to say as her eyes can barely stay open. “Sleep, Love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

When Emily’s eyes closed, she expected her dream world to start up, like it always had ever since she was a little girl, but today something was different. As she fell deeper into what normally was her dream land, it almost is like her dream land was pulling her apart. There was something missing and she couldn’t figure out what was missing but without out, it felt as though an element in her control was gone. Emily started stressing about it and her eyes started to close again as if she was falling asleep all over again. 

“EMILY YOU DO NOT GET TO DIE AGAIN ON ME.”

Emily tries to bounce her eyelids open and remember who that voice is that is calling to her. But it seems so far away.

“Emily, love come back to me. You’re hooked up to the air so I need you to breathe for me or else we have to take you to another hospital which I know is the last thing you want. So sweetheart I need you to breathe for me.” Emily forces her eyes open and she sees the whole team surrounding the couch where it felt like minutes earlier she had been making out with Aaron. But unlike earlier, she now had a yellow rubber mask over her nose and mouth. Emily could feel heat rising to her cheeks as she felt eyes on her all over again, but then she felt Aaron’s hand running the lightest touch from her temple to cheek. “Just breathe sweetheart.” There was something off in Aaron’s face and she couldn’t figure out what it was. The team staying silent shocked Emily and she searches Aaron’s eyes trying to figure out what just happened. “You, uh, stopped breathing. Em, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think to check if your medicines can’t be taken with other medicines and I almost killed you.” Emily didn’t understand completely what he was saying and her eyebrows pull together trying to figure everything out. “The migraine medicine I gave you, it has a few things that interact with the pain medicine and your Latuda. Reid figured it out. But you stopped breathing for a few moments. God, Emily. I’m so sorry.” His hand reaches to hold her cheek and Emily leans into it. He places a soft kiss onto her temple. The team moves back towards the front of the plane to give them some privacy.

“Aaron,” Emily pulls the mask off ever so slightly, but Aaron pushes it back to cover her mouth.

“Em, you can yell at me later, keep it on please. Seeing you stop breathing terrified me. I’d like to see you still breathe please?” The man sitting in front of her was a shell of the man who had kissed her and reassured before all of this had happened, so she shook her head. “Em, please.” His voice shatters with pain.

“Aaron, please.” She lifts it ever so slightly and gives him the softest kiss on the lips, feeling nothing in return at first, before he realizes she’s not yelling at him. “You couldn’t have known it was going to react. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I love you.”

“Emily, I almost killed the woman I love and yet you still are sitting here kissing me? Why?”

“Because, I love you for who are, no matter what.” She kisses him once more, before sliding her mask back down. She’s definitely still out of breath so the air is helping. Emily knows she is still going to have to figure out what she is going to do about her impulse to travel. Maybe she could move her therapy appointment and leave after that. Emily is laying with her head in Aaron’s lap thinking over what she could do, when a rectangle device is passed to her.

“Thought you might want some music.” His hand pulls away from her thinking he might hurt her again, so Emily reaches a hand up and intertwine their fingers near her shoulder. He lifts their hands and places a kiss on her hand before lowering their hands back down. She puts in her earbuds and clicks on her playlist that she had created. Now that she has air, music, and Aaron, she decides to try and nap.

“Emily?” Aaron’s voice wakes her up when they land. He had paused her music and placed a loving hand on her shoulder to gently wake her up. “We’re home.” It was only mid afternoon when they landed but due to how their week in Texas had ended, the whole team is on stand down until Monday. “Want to follow me in your car? Or would you feel better if we just take one?”

“Can I meet you later?” Confusion and hurt flicker on his face for a millisecond before Unit Chief Hotchner takes over, but Emily grabs Aaron’s hand before he shoves all his feelings away. “I’m going to go see if I can get seen by my therapist before their offices close for the weekend.”

“Emily, you’ve had a rough week, so if that’s what you think you need, I understand. I’ll finish up some case files here and then call me when you’re heading to meet me? We can have Harry Potter movie night or something?”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” Emily says and hopes her therapist points her in the right direction so that this is actually true. “Hey Aaron?” She calls after the BAU Unit Chief that has already taken over her boyfriend.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He replies giving her a quick kiss on the lips before squeezing her hand. He watches her head towards the parking garage as he heads up towards the office.

“Hey, Emily!” Penelope’s voice calls after her.

“Hey Garcie.” 

“You’re honest with me right?”

“If this is about the pot, I’ve already-”

“Why did you buy a plane ticket this morning?” Emily looks at the analyst in surprise. “Emily it feels like you’ve been hiding something from us for months. And so in order to not be surprised with another Doyle-ick-like secret I started tracking things that I thought needed to be kept an eye on. But imagine my surprise when I see you just buying airline tickets out of the blue, but also a solo ticket. So what are you hiding from us? And why?”

“PG, I’m not, I promise.”

“So Hotch knows you’re flying this afternoon?”

“Well no-”

“So what are you hiding from us and why?!” Penelope stares one of her best friends down. She’s not surprised that Emily won’t respond. “Fine, keep your secret from me. But if you won’t tell me, at least tell Hotch, you know the guy that is head over heels in love with you and has been for years? The guys that literally is thinking that you are going to be spending the next four to six weeks if not longer sharing his bed with him, not running off first night you get? He’s in love with you and based off that make out session I know you are in love with him too, so why are you planning to run from him and the rest of your family?”

“Penelope-”

“Emily, I will tell him. You need to heal, not travel the US right now. So you tell him or I’ll will.” 

“Penelope, if I choose to have secrets, they’re mine to keep. Please let me deal with this.” Garcia shakes her head, denying her request.

“I won’t let you shatter his heart before you even have the chance to see what he could give you. Give him the chance to love you completely.”

“How do you know this isn’t me giving him a chance? God, Pen, sometimes it’s like you don’t know me at all.” Emily sees her friend’s face crumple in shock. “Fuck, Pen I’m sorry-”

“You know, I don’t think you are.” Penelope’s face grows harder towards the girl she calls her friend. “Emily, we love you, Aaron especially. But if you don’t want that then fine. Go run off and hide like you do. But next time you end up with a table leg stabbed through you, don’t expect us to be there to pick up all the pieces.” Emily can only watch as her usually smiley, but now pissed friend walks away.


	14. Chapter 14

** “One of the hardest things you’ll ever do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.”-Jeannette Walls **

“Emily, I’m glad you called and we were able to get you in.” Robert’s deep voice was calming to her, even if she was stressing about everything at this moment.

“Thank you for seeing me so short notice.”

“Of course. It sounds like you had an intense week? Want to tell me about it?” Emily nods and catches him up on everything that had happened leading up to Texas and their time there. She mentions Aaron only briefly, knowing that the name change will be enough for him to catch that something changed in the past week.

“So Aaron offered that you could stay with him and his son?” 

“He claims it’s the boyfriendly thing to do.” Her therapist says nothing, but his hand moves across the page as he jots something down before continuing.

“And you don’t? Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I think he feels guilty that I got shot, but more so that I can’t be at work so he wants to make sure that I have a babysitter to ensure that I’m not doing things I can’t.”

“Or he wants to spend time with you since you both just decided to jump into a new relationship and he almost lost you before you had a chance to do much of anything.” Robert suggests.

“But we won’t be able to do anything sexually. And there’s a chance he will be pulled away on cases. Also what if all I do is burden him while I’m healing?”

“If you were going to be a burden to him, he wouldn’t have offered up his house.” Robert looks at Emily and asks a question she had gotten used to being asked by him, “Emily do you feel that you are in a manic phase or a depressive phase?”

“Coming out of a depressive into a manic.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because before we left I was having massive amounts of anxiety, panic attacks, stress, depressive episodes, the works. But now I’m feeling more of the manic phase. I want to jet off impulsively. I swing from one emotion to another and can get easily distracted by new ideas or emotions. I, uh, bought a ticket for NYC this morning because the idea of being cooped up in Aaron’s house stresses me out at the moment.”

“Why does it stress you out?”

“The team decided I was going to stay with one of them after the surgery. It was undebatable. I got to choose where, but staying on my own was off the table even though my doctor said I’m allowed to. The surgery isn’t that big of a deal and he even said I could go back to desk work in as little as two weeks if my doctor here clears me. It’s Aaron’s stubbornness that is saying I should stay home for the full six weeks. So staying with him for six weeks with no work would drive me crazy because in as little as two weeks I could be completely ready for desk work and Aaron won’t let me. And it’s all because he’s convinced he loves me and this is the best option.”

“You say he’s convinced he loves you as if he’s said it but you don’t believe him. Why not?”

“My own mother doesn’t love me because of my mental health issues, how could he, Mr. Basically Perfect FBI Agent and Unit Chief, love someone as fucked up as me?”

“Your mother has her own problems that we’ve talked about in past sessions. If you would feel better, we can have Aaron join us for a session to help both of you talk your feelings out, but seeing as he has been a pin point in your sessions since the beginning of them, I wouldn’t push him away just yet.” Robert looks at her. “If however, you decide you want to want to heal away from your team though, you have every right to. Just keep up with your medical doctors and I would request that you and I do skype sessions while you’re away, either for healing or for work so I can ensure your staying within acceptable levels of mania and depression. I will say lets adjust your Latuda to try and help with the feelings of mania and if that helps we can look at adjusting your antidepressant in a month or two.” Emily nods, agreeing with his suggestions. “I will say, the main focus of your next however many weeks it takes you to heal from the gunshot wound is to heal. Jumping into a new relationship is secondary. So if you need to put off the relationship until you heal, then talk with Aaron. If he’s the man you say he is, he will understand.” Robert glances at the clock. “It looks like we are out of time for today. Let me know once you decide what you’re doing on traveling or not and we can set up your next appointment.”

“I will, thank you for everything Robert.”

“Of course Emily.” 

Emily walks out of the modern looking office and back into the cooler spring afternoon. The breeze had a bite to it as if it knew what Emily was thinking of doing. She knew she was taking the cowards way out, but her mind kept playing was Robert had said over and over again.  _ The main focus of your next however many weeks it takes you to heal from the gunshot wound is to heal. Jumping into a new relationship is secondary.  _ Emily gets back into her car and sees her go bag. Everything in there is dirty. Stopping at her apartment would actually put her going the correct direction for the airport. Would Garcia be pissed? Yes. Would Aaron be hurt by her actions? Probably. Was she putting herself first? Yes…? She had to, at least that’s what she told herself on the short drive home. Stepping into her apartment, Emily hits off her alarm system and walks into her bedroom to put her gun and FBI shield in her safe. There wasn’t a reason to bring them with her. She then dumps out the contents of her go bag and repacks it with two weeks worth of clothing. Everything else she could get in NYC. Just as she’s getting ready to leave, there’s a knock on her door. Looking through the peephole, she sees Aaron standing outside her door, looking more like Hotch than the man she confessed her love to earlier. “Garcia. Damn it.” She sets her go bag on the table and opens the door. “Hey.” She offers a small smile trying to calm herself.

“Please tell me she’s wrong.” Aaron doesn’t even have to mention what he’s talking about because he knows Emily already has figured out why he’s here. 

“Aaron, please come inside.” Emily doesn’t want to argue with him in the hallway.

“Emily, you bought a plane ticket to leave? If you’re mad at me for almost killing you, I understand completely, but you don’t have to leave the state. There’s the rest of the team you could stay with-”

“Aaron stop. It’s not because of what happened on the jet I promise.” Aaron’s eyebrows draw together in confusion.

“If it’s not because of what happened on the jet then please explain why you’re not giving us a chance?”

“Is that what Garcia told you?”

“No, but she said you were keeping secrets and you wouldn’t tell her and I figured it probably had to do with something of that sort.” Aaron’s eyes could barely meet her’s. “Emily please tell me what fears I have to chase away. Tell me what I have to do to convince you to stay.”

“You can’t.” Aaron’s face crumples.

“Emily, please. I can’t lose you before I even get the chance to have you in my life.”

“You’re not. I love you. That hasn’t changed, at least not for me.” Emily’s eyes finally can’t look at the face of the man who will always have her heart. She turns to start to walk farther into her apartment, but is immediately pulled back into his arms.

“Emily, do you think I stopped loving you?”

“I don’t know. But I do know the idea of being trapped in any team member’s house for up to six weeks I can’t do. My mind can’t handle that. I feel like a burden enough on my own without being told I  _ have _ to stay at someone else’s house just because I got shot. But on top of that my mind is in a manic phase and I need to go somewhere, anywhere other than stay in one place for up to six weeks, so I’m going to travel for a bit while I heal. Nothing strenuous and nothing out of the US I promise. But I need to focus on healing before jumping into playing house. Aaron, I know you mean well but I will lose it if I stay with you for six weeks with nothing to do or work on. Plus the sexual tension of just being in the same room is hard enough. Try being in the same bed and not being able to make love to each other,” She wants to say more, but he hasn’t said anything since she finally spoke her mind.

“Can it be part of the time?” That wasn’t the reaction she was expecting. She was expecting all or nothing.

“What?”

“Emily, I told you I love any part of you I can get. But I also understand healing takes time and different forms, so if you need to travel, travel and be safe. But could it be the second half of your healing or can I put in for personal away time and come with you?” 

“You’re saying you would drop everything and come away with me?” Emily is surprised by Aaron’s question.

“Why not? Plus it’s Jack’s Spring Break this week so if he comes with us there’s an even better reason for you and I not sleep together in the biblical sense. Jack and I can sleep in one bed and you can have the other. Then after a week, you can stay if you want more time away and I’ll come back with Jack. What do you say?”

“I love you.”

“But?”

“No but. I love you. I love the idea. Bring Captain Jack.” She smiles at Aaron. The idea feels right to her. It gets her out of the house, but it doesn’t hurt Aaron.

“Oh thank God. I thought I’d have to spend all night convincing you that it was a good idea that I already had Penelope buy the tickets and put the request in for me.”

“What?!” Emily looks at Aaron with surprise at his spontaneity. “I don’t know what you have done to careful planning Aaron Hotchner, but I will just say tell my boyfriend, that the careful, planning one should be back before we make love ok? I don’t want any babies yet, as adorable as they may be.” Aaron’s hand lifts her lips to meet his and he places a kiss to claim her as his once again. When they broke apart for air they barely separate. 

“God, I thought I had lost you, but here you still are. I love you Emily.”

“Never losing me. I may run at times, but I’ll come back to you.” 

“Oh also Garcia said to say you will owe her big time. I didn’t ask what she meant by that and I don’t know if I want to know what she meant by that.”

“She’s right. I was a bit of a bitch to her.” Aaron looks at her with concern. “I snapped at her before leaving for therapy since she called me out on buying the ticket. I may have told her that I’m allowed to choose to have secrets and that they’re mine to keep before asking her to please let me deal with this. She told me she wouldn’t let me shatter your heart before I had the chance to see what you could give me and to give you the chance to love me completely.”

“I agree. But I don’t see how that was you being a bitch? That’s you being defensive sure. But not being a bitch.”

“I may have told her that it’s like sometimes she doesn’t know me at all, which looking back now, definitely isn’t true at all. But she didn’t take that well at all, which she shouldn’t have.” Aaron could tell there was more that Emily wasn’t telling him. “I tried to apologize, but she didn’t really want to hear it and I don’t know if she will for a while based off what she said.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

“No, but…” Emily visibly swallows, trying to get the lump out of her throat. “She got really cold and unPenelope-like and said ‘we love you, Aaron especially. But if you don’t want that then fine. Go run off and hide like you do. But next time you end up with a table leg stabbed through you, don’t expect us to be there to pick up all the pieces.’”

“She said that to you?” He growls. While Aaron can understand the blonde being hurt at what Emily had said, there was no need to swing that low to hurt her.

“Aaron, stop. I deserved it. Honestly I told one of my best friends she didn’t know me and she proved she did.”

“No, she chose to use something she knew would hurt you back.” Emily sees tears prickling at the edge of her vision, knowing he’s right. And instead of responding she just pulls Aaron close and blinks the tears away, not even acknowledging them. “It’s ok to be hurt by it Em.” He slowly rubs circles into her back and just holds her.

“I’ll talk with her when we get back, but can we just focus on us and Jack for the next week?” Emily whispers into his shoulder, not wanting to deal with it right now.

“Ok, but if you start to doubt us, or yourself because of it can we talk about it?” Aaron asks. Emily looks into his eyes and nods. “Full honesty with each other?”

“Full honesty.” Emily agrees. “I’ll try not to keep things hidden anymore.”

“I can be your secret keeper Emily.” Emily smiles at the childlike phrase.

“I think I’d like that.”


	15. Chapter 15

** “I never want to stop making memories with you.” -Pierre Jeanty **

“Where are we going Daddy?” Jack asks his dad as they leave his room, suitcase in hand, not yet noticing the guest in the living room. 

“I thought we should go on a trip this year, instead of just staying home for spring break.”

“Really?! Where are we going??”

“I was thinking New York City? How about that Captain Jack?” Jack’s head spun to see Emily sitting in the living room.

“Emily! When did you get here?!” Jack drops his bag and runs over to where his favorite adult besides his dad is sitting.

“When your dad did. Your dad and I thought I could be your second surprise.” Jack went to give her a big hug and from across the room, Aaron calls out a warning.

“Be careful with Emily, Jack. She got hurt this past week.” Jack’s eyes look up at Emily’s looking like a sad, scared animal.

“Did you really? Are you ok?”

“I did Captain Jack, but I’ll be ok. It’s why we stayed in Texas so long was the doctor’s wouldn’t let me out of the hospital as quickly as I wanted because they wanted to observe me. Plus I’m not allowed to work for a least a couple weeks, more than that if your dad has his way, so that means I’ll have more time to watch Harry Potter Movies with my favorite guys.” Jack looks confused at who she would be watching the movies with, so Emily stage whispers to Aaron while still hugging Jack, “Did you not tell Jack I own all the movies and was going to watch them with my favorite Hotchner boys?” Jack’s face instantly brightened.

“I hadn’t yet, but looks like I don’t need to now.”

“Emily, are we really?!”

“Mmhmm. I figure when we get back we can start the first one.”

“I have to wait a whole week to start it?! But I already read the second book so I have to wait now for more Harry?"

“Jack…” Aaron’s voice was stern.

“We can figure something out I bet.” Emily’s smile was one that Aaron knew she was planning something. If only he knew she had grabbed the next book while packing for Jack. “But for now we need to get going if we want to catch our flight.”

“Before we do, Jack can we have a grown guys talk?” Jack looks at his dad and then back at Emily before replying.

“Does Emily have to leave for this talk? Did I do something?” Jack looks ashamed while not even knowing what the talk was about.

“No, Emily can stay and you’re definitely not in trouble.” Jack perks back up. “Emily and I decided while we were away that we want to try being more than friends. Like Dad and Miss Beth were.” Emily feels a ping of jealousy that the brunette was around her guys, but pushes it away knowing that they are only her guys now. “So it means that Emily will spend more time here and that Dad might spend more time with Emily, times when you won’t be there because it’s grown up date nights.”

“But,” Emily adds, “there will also be times that I will want to go out with just Jack and times where your dad will want to have guy time and hang out like you used to still. Because we both love you too.”

“Really?” Jack asks. The two brunettes nod. “Ha! Uncle Dave owes me ten dollars! He told me you two were two stubborn to see past your own feelings to realize I wanted Emily to be my stepmom! I told him I knew you guys would be destined to be together! Can you call him now?!” Stepmom? Jack already thought of her like that? 

“Wait Jack when was this?” Aaron asks, wrapping an arm around Emily trying to soothe the anxiety he could already see rippling off of her.

“I don’t know, months ago.” He turns to look at Emily. “How long ago did you come back from being gone?”

“Five months ago.”

“So five months ago. But I wanted you to be my stepmom before you left. I was really sad when you left before you could be my second mommy. So when you came back I told Uncle Dave I wanted his help to make it happen.” Aaron beams knowing his kid has been rooting for them since the beginning. “So when will you get married?!”

“Whenever she says yes.” Aaron says honestly.

“Aaron!” Emily’s head turns so fast she thinks it might snap.

“Ooooooo Daddy's in trouble!!” Jack’s grin brighten’s his whole face.

“Go grab your bag buddy, we need to get going.” Aaron’s parenting kicks in trying to get his son to turn away for a moment before he can lean in to kiss for his slip up away, even if it was an honest slip up. Jack, being ever so easy to parent, goes to grab his bag, and Aaron plants a kiss on Emily’s lips. “I love you. You love me. We know eventually we will get married. I know it won’t be for a while, but my answer is completely honest.” Aaron places another kiss on Emily’s lips and he feels her reciprocating the kiss, knowing he’s at least forgiven for revealing that he plans to marry her in front of his son, who will not keep this secret most likely.

“Ewwwwww.”

“First he says he wants a wedding, now he’s grossed out by kissing. Can’t please him.” Aaron jokes before placing one more quick peck on his girlfriend’s lips.

“Daddy you said we need to go.” Aaron offers Emily a hand to help her up.

“You’re right, I did buddy.”


	16. Chapter 16

**“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist.” -Oscar Wilde**

While the Hotchner guys and the girl of their dreams were getting used to the city that never sleeps, there was a group of profilers looking at a dark office of a Unit Chief that never takes time off, trying to figure out why he would randomly take time off. Sure Emily had been shot, but they also knew they had a case and that was not a normal reason for Aaron to miss a case. He wasn’t injured so protocol says he should be here.

“Hotch sick?” Morgan asks.

“No, asked for some personal time.” Rossi replies easily.

“Any reason?” Before Rossi has a chance to reply to Morgan’s follow up, Morgan is surprised by the curt reply that comes out of his usual ball of sunshine.

“I can think of a few and all of them are spelled Emily Prentiss is being a selfish bitch.” The whole team sets their case files down. Yes the team has a case, but before they jet out, they all need to figure out why Penelope, loving sweet never-fights-anything-except-computer -code Penelope, would want to use her fighting words, especially against one of their own.

“Pump your breaks, baby girl. Back it up and restart. Prentiss is one of your best friends.”

“Was.”

“No is. You don’t throw out friends like pieces of used glitter hair stickers. So I think you need to talk this out or this is going to rip you to pieces.”

“Or maybe Derek Morgan you need to butt out.” At that point everyone knows that Garcia needs a break from talking about whatever went on between her and Emily. So they run over the case details and Rossi gives the standard rundown on how long they have until they take off. Rossi makes eye contact with Morgan, telling him to talk with their favorite usually bubbly tech analyst before they leave with less words. Morgan follows his favorite blonde back to her lair, and even catches the door before she can slam it in his face. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Tough. I’m here for you whether we’re talking or not. I’m your Chocolate Thunder, your Hot Hot Hot Chocolate,  _ your _ Derek Morgan. I’m not running until you are smiling. If that means the team needs to go without me then fine. But something is bothering you and I don’t like when  _ my _ Baby Girl is upset, because that makes me upset.”

“See, this Derek, this is why you’re too loveable. I can’t not love you.” Garcia throws one of the squishies she loves so much at him. “And I want to be angry with you so much for calling me out in front of everyone, but at the same time I just want to wring the pretty little neck of Emily Prentiss and I know being mad at you won’t fix that.”

“Baby Girl, I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

“She, she, she, she told me I didn’t know her! And that’s not true at all because I do very extensive searches on each of you and I make sure that I know everyone of you really well because you’re my family but she was angry and she said I didn’t know her even after years of us going out for Girl’s Nights and hanging out nursing hangovers and talking about crushes and bad dates and relationships and everything. Even after she dies and comes back again, even after Doyle, after all of that she said I don’t even know her.”

“Baby Girl, Penelope, she sounds like she was being defensive. I doubt she meant it.”

“Well she was being defensive but she was going to run away and not tell Hotch and I couldn’t let her do that. She was going to shatter his heart before she even got the chance to see just how amazing the two of them are together. Like they are house with a white picket fence, two point five kids, a dog and a cat, American dream type relationship, but the difference is they truly love each other and are meant for each other. She wants to run from that though.”

“It’s her relationship to run from. We can’t stop that if she wants to.”

“But she also was shot last week and she needs to be with someone if something happens so I threatened to tell Hotch where she was going to run because she’s also been keeping secrets from all of us again and I wasn’t going to lose her again. But she told me if she chooses to keep secrets they’re hers to keep and I needed to let her do that. I couldn’t Derek, so I might have shared a few choice words and after she left I told Hotch. I even helped him buy tickets to NYC but they were for Saturday Night. They should have been back by now.” 

“What choice words? Also why do you think they’re not back and not just using like an extra day to make travel work?”

“What I said isn’t important, but you really think our workaholic boss would miss for anything other than Emily?”

“I still want to know what you said, because you not telling me means it was bad. But you’re right, I do think he would miss work for Emily, which is why I could also see him taking off time to be with her so she doesn’t go out of her mind. For all we know they already talked out their differences and are spending time as a couple, without the team watching their every move and so he can make sure Emily is not trying to run a marathon while she’s supposed to be healing.” Derek raises an eyebrow at Penelope. “Now, my goddess, I want to know what your hot headedness spewed off at her that you don’t want me knowing.”

“Derek, it was really bad.” Penelope grimaces with the memory of what she yelled at her other best friend.

“Well I’ll either hear about it from you or from her eventually, so I’d rather hear about it from the horse’s mouth Baby Girl.”

“I might have um… told her I didn’t think she was sorry for what she said when she apologized right after and then told her that while we all loved her, especially Hotch, she didn’t want it. So then…” Penelope takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself before admitting the worst of it to the person who only sees the best from her normally. “I might have told her to go run off and hide like she does, but that the next time she ends up with a table leg stabbed through her, not to expect us to be there to pick up all the pieces.” Penelope couldn’t even meet Derek’s gaze, but hearing the sudden gust of air leave through his nose as if he had been punched told her everything she needed to know. “Trust me, I regret it and I’m disgusted that I could even think of something like that to say-”

“Baby Girl, she’s going through hell right now. I don’t even know all of it, but I’m pretty sure she had a panic attack the day we left for Texas and then she got shot. That probably wasn’t the best thing for her to hear, but if Hotch isn’t here we have to hope it means it opened her eyes.” Derek pulls Penelope into his arms.

“I just feel so bad for saying that to her. What if… what if she thinks I meant it? We’re her family and last time she went through shit, she didn’t feel like she could come to us and now I told her not to.”

“Penelope Garcia, are you doubting that someone can forgive you for being angry? Because I have had the pleasure of being in love with you as well as having the unfortunate feeling of being the person having to receive your wrath before. Emily and you will talk about it and everything will work out. You know why? Because she loves you, just like you love her. And I bet she wants to apologize as much as you do and fix everything between you both. Trust me.” Derek could tell that Penelope still wasn’t convinced. “Pen, she already texted me asking my advice on the best way to win you over after an argument.”

“What?! When?!” Penelope’s face lit up like a child on Christmas.

“Saturday morning.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before I got all upset in front of the team?” Penelope slaps him lightly.

“Because, I was going to leave it to you two to solve, but I know it’s bothering you and I don’t want you to keep struggling with it. Why don’t you call her? It might do you some good.”

“Derek Morgan, you truly are God’s gift to me.”

“Baby Girl you are God’s gift to the Universe.” He kisses her forehead. “I have to go jet off to catch a bad guy but call her ok?” He raises an eyebrow at her.

“Ok, ok, don’t have to tell me twice.” Penelope sits down at her desk and hits Emily’s speed dial. The phone rings twice before the she picks up, but the way Emily is so unfamiliar that Penelope almost thinks she has the wrong number.

“Stoooooppppp. I give up, you guys win! Hello?” An out of breath Emily asks after letting out a laugh.

“Emily?”

“PG?” Emily’s voice catches. From the other end, Penelope can hear Hotch and a child like voice which she is pretty sure is Jack moving farther away from Emily. “I’ve been meaning to call you, but I wasn’t sure what you were doing with your weekend off and I didn’t want to interrupt. Garcie, I’m so sorry.”

“No Emily, I should be apologizing. I was a total bitch to you.”

“Pen, I was going to say the same thing! You were completely right.”

“No I wasn’t! We’re your family, and no matter how far you run, and what trouble-”

“Not that, Pen. About Aaron.” And Penelope realizes now what Emily is talking about. “This whole relationship is a completely different thing than any other relationship I’ve ever been in and running from it, the moment I explained my reasons to Aaron, he came with and even brought Jack. And I hear I owe a certain Tech Goddess for helping with that.”

“It’s the least I could do. Emily I feel awful about what I said to you. I never should have used what you did to protect us from Doyle against you like that. And I’m really, really, really, really,  **_really_ ** sorry for using something I know you did for us against you like that.”

“Pen I’ll forgive you if you can forgive me for everything I said to you that night? I should never have said all of that to you either. I was just in a miserable mood and was feeling an impulse to run.”

“Deal. Done. 100,000% forgiven! I just want my best friend back!” Pen says and then remembers the briefing from this morning, “Oh and I should say I’m sorry if anyone mentions me possibly saying I called you a selfish bitch in briefing this morning. I don’t know where they got that from.”

“Penelope Garcia called me a selfish bitch in a room of profilers?” Emily lets out a laugh. “And how did everyone react to that?” 

“Let’s just say Derek called me out in front of the team and when he figured out that wasn’t going to work, the team went over the case file and then Derek followed me into my lair and made me talk until I agreed to talk to you. Damn profilers.”

“Talk about dating one. It’s almost like they’re in your head.”

“I still need to know all the details. I demand a girl’s night! When are you allowed to drink?”

“Well technically I can drink now as long as I’m careful with the dosings of when I’ve taken meds and such, but Aaron, Jack, and I are in NYC for Jack’s spring break right now. So when we get back, let’s plan one ok?”

“Yes please!”

“You two better not be planning to attack again! I’m supposed to recovering! Aaron! Why are you encouraging this?” Emily’s voice leans away from the phone for a moment before coming back. “Ok, Aaron bought Jack these ridiculous Nerf guns while we were out earlier and they has decided shooting me with is the best way to use them. So I’m about to confiscate them before I’m attacked again.”

“You could just distract Aaron in a different manner- oh wait Jack’s there.”

“Yeah Jack finds us kissing gross which was funniest since he asked when we were going to get married the moment before he told us that us kissing was gross.” 

“YOUR KISSING IS GROSS!” Jack’s voice could be heard even from Penelope’s end which made Penelope laugh out loud.

“Well I think then I’ll just have to give Aaron some kisses then just for Jack so I’ll talk to you later Pen.” Emily’s smile could be heard in her voice and Pen could tell that the change in her best friend was a good one. Especially once she logs onto Instagram and sees the picture that’s on Aaron’s account of a picture taken on the plane of Emily leaning into Aaron and Jack leaning into Emily. The caption simply read- Ready to make new memories with you, my secret keeper.

Emily hangs up her phone and goes after Jack blowing exaggerated kisses at him and he runs around the room shrieking with laughter. “Daddy save me!” Aaron pulls Emily into his own arms letting Jack hide on the other side behind one of the beds.

“I’ll sacrifice myself for you Jack.” Emily kisses her boyfriend on the lips quickly and Aaron plays as though he is suffering by groaning, but that only takes Emily’s thoughts to another place and other ideas she wishes she could try. Aaron must have been thinking the same way, because next thing she knows Aaron’s lips are back on hers for a longer, less chaste kiss.

“Daddy, you’re enjoying that.” Jack reminds them they’re not alone and they pull away from each other, but still keep a hand wrapped around each others waist. 

“She’s my girlfriend Jack and I do like kissing my girlfriend.” Jack’s face crinkles up.

“Ewwww. You’re going to get cooties Dad.”

“I actually got my cootie shot so I can kiss your Dad, Jack. Remember? We talked about it when I gave you kisses too. I don’t have cooties anymore.” Emily remembers how easy it is to soothe some fears with monster sprays and cootie shots at his age.

“Oh yeah. I guess it’s only half gross now.” Jack concedes.

“Jack how about you go put your pjs on and brush your teeth?”

“Ok Daddy.” Jack grabs his pjs and runs off to the bathroom.

“So Garcia called you?” Emily nods. “Happy ending?”

“Yeah, we both hated being upset and feeling guilty about what we said.” Emily smiles at him. “We agreed to forgive and forget. We’re going to have a girl’s night when we get back because PG and JJ want to know how this happened.” She motions at Aaron and herself.

“You sure she doesn’t want to just win the pot?” Aaron asks jokingly.

“I’ll mess with them all and say it happened before we even knew them all. For all they know we technically could have been together,” She says using child appropriate language, “Back when you worked for my mother.”

“How I didn’t realized that you were the person I should have been with then-”

“Aaron stop. You were married and I was a completely different person then. We never would have been this back then. Plus if we had gotten together then, we wouldn’t have this now. And I know there is an amazing aspect having Jack be a part of this too.” Aaron considers this for a moment.

“I know you’re right, but knowing I could have had almost ten years more with you, I’m regretting we waited this long.”

“There’s no reason to live in the past. We need to just learn from it and not run from anything else. Yeah?” His lips are on her in an instant.

“God, you’re so hot when you’re so sure about us.” He nips her bottom lip. “And every time you say we and us, it does things to me that I don’t think you understand.” He pulls her closer to him, which she didn’t think was possible. But she didn’t complain, wrapping her own hands into his hair and wishing they could move past just kissing, knowing they couldn’t for more reasons than one.

“Daddy,” Jack’s voice comes from the bathroom. Emily and Aaron break apart as Jack comes out of the bathroom. “I brushed my teeth!”

“Did you take your vitamin?” Jack shakes his head. “Well go back in and take it.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes you do Jack.”

“But I don’t like it.”

“It’s the big boy ones you said you wanted though.”

“But I have to swallow them and they don’t taste good.” Emily could see Aaron was getting a bit flustered and that would only lead to Hotch coming out and taking over parenting.

“Captain Jack did you know I have to take a bunch of medicines each night too?” Jack looks at Emily in surprise.

“Really? I never see you take them.”

“Usually I take them before I go to sleep, after your Dad and I read our books, but how about I take them with you?” In reality it was because Emily had to eat before taking her bipolar medicine and Aaron didn’t want to have to give Jack a snack just because Emily was eating.

“You would?” Emily nods. “Ok, I’ll take it then.” Aaron walks into the bathroom and helps Jack get his vitamin and some water to take it. Meanwhile Emily grabs out her pill container and takes out the one pill she couldn’t take until later, and then pours the rest into her hand before putting her remaining one back into the container. Aaron hands her a glass of water when they get back to where she is. “Do you have your magic potion ready?”

“My magic potion?” Jack looks confused.

“Well you know how Harry and his friends took a magic potion to change their bodies to go look into the Slytherin house? Well this vitamin is going to change your body for the better so that makes it a magic potion right?”

“Ooooooooo, you’re right!” Jack shows her the vitamin in his hand. “I have my magic potion.”

“Magic potions don’t always taste the best so if you pop it in and take a huge gulp of water it helps. Remember that Harry and his friends didn’t like the taste of the polyjuice potion either, but they still took it without complaint right?” Jack nods. “Take them on the count of three?” Jack looks at Emily’s hand and sees that she has more ‘magic potions’ than he has to take so he nods even though he looks not fully convinced.

“One.” Emily says

“Two.” Aaron adds.

“Three!” Jack says and quickly takes his vitamin. Emily takes her pills and pretends it was really hard to make Jack feel better. “That wasn’t hard! Emily you’re right the potions are helping! I already feel magical! You looked really bad though taking yours. Were yours bad? I can get you one of my potions if you need it?”

“Thank you Jack, but I think I just need a Captain Jack hug to feel better.” Emily sees her boyfriend smiling at the interaction between his son and the woman he loves.

“I can help with that!!” Jack jumps over from his end of the bed to where Emily sits and gives her a big hug.

“And now I can give you so many kisses too!” Emily places kisses all over his face as Jack squeals.

“DADDY SAVE ME!”

“I’ll try Jack!” Aaron joins them on the bed, but hugs Jack from the other side and proceeds to help Emily cover Jack’s face in kisses.

“DADDY! EMILY!”Jack’s laughter fills the room as he laughs away merrily at the love from the two most important people in his life. In that moment, Emily wished that one day maybe there could be a brunette child giggling along with the blonde child.


	17. Chapter 17

**“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” -Oscar Wilde**

Coming back to work after spending the week with Emily and Jack in NYC, wasn’t something that Aaron was looking forward too. Sure, he loves his job and the people he works with but he got to spend every night laying with the woman he loves since Jack decided he wanted the big bed all to himself and that “Daddy and Emily can share instead” and walking around exploring a city Emily loves with the boy they both love so much was just so much better than being at work. There were so many new pictures of the three of them on his phone and he had even changed his lock screen to his new favorite photo of them from the plane which he had even taken the time to break back into his own Instagram to post. Emily’s contact photo had changed to being her and Jack looking at the Statue of Liberty the day before they left New York and neither of them were even looking at the camera. Emily was so focused on some story Jack was telling her and she was about to let out a huge laugh and he could see it in her smile which is why he loved it so much. Her name was no longer Prentiss in his phone, but Em with the red heart emoji. Was it really up to protocol? No, but Garcia had all of them listed under nicknames, his own being Bossman with a scowl, and he felt like his girlfriend deserved to be more personalized than everyone else in his phone. God, he misses her already. They’ve barely been apart for half an hour, but he doesn’t want to go to meetings or sit through profile debriefs he missed- he wanted to stay home and watch her sleep in his bed.

**To: Em <3**

**I miss you already**

**To: Em <3**

**Who knew being apart would be this hard?**

**To: Em <3**

**Can we go back to NYC?**

**To: Em <3**

**Or at least go back to snuggling this morning.**

**To: Em <3**

**Maybe I can work from home until you’re better**

**To: Em <3**

**Strauss won’t mind, I’d bet**

**From: Em <3**

**Good morning, I miss you too.**

**From: Em <3**

**I’d take snuggling you over this big empty bed**

**From: Em <3**

**I never would have guessed Aaron Hotchner to be a multi texter but then again there’s a lot I never expected, like making out on the plane.**

**To: Em <3**

**I’m full of surprises just wait and see**

**From: Em <3**

**I’m sure you are.**

**From: Em <3**

**Does this mean we can join the mile high club for real though?**

**To: Em <3**

**On the BAU Jet, no. On any other flight, it’s definitely something we can discuss.**

**From: Em <3**

**But there’s sooooooooooooo much more room for activities on the jet.**

**To: Em <3**

**Yes that’s true, but I shouldn’t be thinking about that before a meeting with Strauss**

**From: Em <3**

**Should I distract you during it?**

**To: Em <3**

**I’m not saying yes to that because that’s when you would send me picture that will get me possibly fired.**

**From: Em <3**

**So no pictures, I can still have fun.**

Aaron smiles at how his brown eyed love can change his entire mood in just a few text messages and can easily turn his whole day around. He had to get through this meeting with Strauss and then he’d be in the finally stretch before he could head home. Sliding his phone in to the pocket inside of his jacket, he walks towards Strauss’s office. This meeting should be fairly easy since it was going over budgets and the case files from while he had been away. If anything it would just be boring, easy but boring. The idea of Emily being bored at his house, alone though- that was terrifying. There wasn’t anything he was worried about her getting into- he didn’t have any secrets to keep from her- but he was more worried that she was going to make a decision to do something her body wasn’t ready for while she was supposed to be recovering. He pictured all the different things that Emily might be up to while Strauss drones on about budgets and profiles of criminals that his team caught even being two people short. The ideas in his head are both hysterical and terrifying, so the moment he’s out of the office he decides to give her a call and check on her. She must have been waiting by the phone because she picks up before the first ring is even complete.

“Hey Lover.”

“That’s a new one.” Aaron comments, not at all hating the name, but merely being surprised by the new term of endearment from his girlfriend.

“I spent some time coming up with a list of names I love and hate as pet names for you. Morgan and Garcia have used too many that I felt the need to limit them. But I felt like that was the best one to use until I’m able to actually have you as my lover.”

“Emily.” Her name rolls of his tongue with an almost silence groan to it. He knows he’s far enough from Strauss’s office that she shouldn’t hear anything, but he knows to be better safe than sorry.

“Other contenders were Babe- still a favorite that I’ll be using,  _ Sir _ ,” Aaron feels his pants tighten at her using the name she used for months in a flirtatious way, “Stud, Mi Amore, Mon Amour, Beau, Mon Chere, My Aaron-another I love, Cutie, Dear, Good Lookin’, Handsome, Hubby, Love Bug, One and Only, Romeo, My Partner in Crime, to name a few that are mostly in English.”

“They don’t have to be in English Em,” He adds, remembering how sexy it was hearing her telling Dave off in Italian, “but I will say I have a couple I’m not so sure about. Cutie and Romeo might need to go on the chopping block. However did I hear you say Hubby is on the list?”

“I just figured well we might be in that place one day and I really like it and I thought it works for you-”

“Emily, I would love to be your husband one day.” He cuts her rambling off, feeling his smile grow knowing that his girlfriend could see a life in the future with him even if they had only been dating for a super short amount of time. “What else have you been up to today?”

“Not too much, did some laundry, read some, slept.”

“Want to grab dinner and go on an actual date?” Aaron throws out casually.

“Sure. When do you think you’ll be out of there?”

“I think honestly I’ll probably send the team home soon and will follow shortly. They came back from a case yesterday night and they’ve be working on write ups while I was meeting with Strauss so it seems like as good a time as any to send them home.” He says glancing at his watch.

“Plus you miss me?” Emily throws out questioningly.

“Of course I miss you gorgeous. How could I not? I’m used to getting to look out my window and see you all the time and then I got to spend 24/7 with you last week and now I had to go nine hours cold turkey without you. I’m going through withdrawals from you. I’m addicted to you.”

“Then hurry home mon amour and we can continue our discussion of pet names as well as both of us get hits of our addiction while we go on a date.” He loves that Emily wants to be around him as much as he wants her in his life.

“As soon as I can.” He turns to walk into the bullpen and sees all of his agents standing around Reid and Emily’s desks, even though the latter isn’t there. “What’s going on?”

“Boss is back from his meeting, everyone back to work,” Dave says jokingly and Aaron raises an eyebrow at this.

“We’ve all finished our wrap ups on the last case.” Morgan throws out.

“And we were throwing together a preliminary profile on a case for Florida so that we don’t have to travel down there. I had started one, but I wanted the guys opinions on things.” JJ throws out, but before Aaron has time to judge if her statement is truthful a pop sounds through the air and a canister flies off of Reid’s desk.

“Physics magic?” Aaron asks staring the youngest member of their team down.

“Yes, but-” Reid starts to explain, before Aaron cuts him off.

“I don’t want to know the reason. All of you should have profiles and write ups for me to sign off on. I’m heading home to make sure our out of commission agent is listening to doctor’s orders, so if you want me to sign off on the files in the morning, make sure they’re on my desk before you head out.” The team is surprised their Unit Chief is heading out before all of them.

“How’s Emily doing?” Reid asks as Aaron starts heading back to his office to collect the few things he needs to leave for the night.

“She’s not wanting to sit still, but she’s healing like she should.” Aaron doesn’t let out much more than that before walking into his office. Dave follows Aaron up to his office and knocks on the door. “Yes?”

“Well aren’t you running out of here quickly? You wouldn’t be leaving early at your girlfriend’s request would you?”

“No, my suggestion to her. I do want to check on her.”

“Take her out Aaron. You’ve been all frowns all day.”

“Excuse me?” He questions the other senior profiler.

“You think the rest of the team didn’t notice you staring at her empty desk and longing for her? They know you don’t like being away from your girl. Take her out to dinner and show her that you love her. Maybe use a few more of those personal days?”

“I was already going to take her out, not that it’s your business Dave, but also Strauss will start asking questions if the Unit Chief takes a bunch of personal time while another agent is out. I appreciate it, I do. But I’m just going to try to get out as quickly as possible and stay in DC if possible.”

“Understood, just thought I’d throw the option out there.”

“Is there anything else? Or-”

“You can go Aaron. Go see Emily.” Dave laughs as Aaron grabs his bag and suit jacket and books it out of his office. Dave sees Aaron give a quick wave to the team wishing them a nice night and then he’s out the door. Dave walks out of Aaron’s office, turning the lights off and closing the door behind him. The team swivels their heads to look from the door to the greying profiler at Aaron’s door and he throws up his hands. “He misses his girl and wants to check on her.” The team understands instantly, because they had seen the pull between the two profilers for years and now that they were acting on it, there was no surprise that they are apart they’re aching to be back together.

“Em?” Aaron closes the door behind him and places his suit jacket and briefcase on the table next to the door. “I’m home.” He walks into the kitchen to the gun safe that’s there and deposits his gun and credentials next to hers, before walking to the bedroom where he finds a sleeping Emily wrapped up in a blankets with a well loved book forgotten on her chest. He picks up the book with the gentlest of touch and grabs a paper from the bedside table to mark her spot. Based of the shape of the characters and the conversation they had had previously, he would guess she was reading in Russian. He made a mental note to ask her when she woke up, but for the meantime, he kicks off his shoes, climbs into bed without waking her, and pulls her into his arms. Her subconscious mind makes her wrap her arms around him and pull herself closer to him. He strokes a hand through her wavy hair, noting that she must have let it air dry after her shower, but in a bun or something of that sort since he’s never seen her hair like this, even after nearly seven years of working together. 

He pulls his phone out and places an order for Chinese food since he knows that sleepy Emily won’t want to be woken up to get all dressed up to go out. Sleepy Emily will want to hang out around the house, watching movies with Aaron and Jack, and that sounds like the best plan to Aaron as well. Even after being with her for almost a month, getting to have her curled into him during naps, or the idea of holding her while they watch a movie seems like a dream. Aaron places a kiss on the top of her head, feeling grateful that she finally said yes after all the times she had said no to taking a chance with him. Aaron isn’t sure how long they lay there for, but eventually he falls asleep too and the sound of the doorbell wakes them both.

“Aaron…?” Her confusion weaves through the sleepiness of her voice.

“I’m right here Sweetheart. It’s just the Chinese food being delivered.” He places a kiss on her forehead again, before unwinding himself from her arms and blankets. He quickly makes it downstairs to the teenager on his steps with the Chinese food. After tipping and receiving his food, he places it in the microwave in an attempt to keep it hot. He then makes it back upstairs to find his girlfriend still lounging on bed, but not asleep like he thought he’d find her.

“Что, черт возьми? Где, черт возьми, это ушло?” She’s looking on the bed and then over his side trying to, he assumes, find her book.

“Em, babe it’s over here. I picked it up when I got home and put a bookmark in it.” Emily smiles at him as she rubs the sleep from her eyes. “It’s in Russian, da?” The one word he knows in Russian comes out as a very weak attempt to impress his girlfriend. Emily smiles at the cuteness of Aaron trying so hard to speak another language when it’s not his forte.

“да,” She nods. “Страх и отвращение, otherwise known as Fear and Loathing.”

“You’re reading a translation of your favorite book?” She nods. 

“I need to keep my mind going since I’m not even allowed to do paperwork according to my ass-hat of a boss.”

“Your ass-hat of a boss is just doing what your doctor said. Your boyfriend on the other hand wouldn’t mind if you were there. He misses being able to see your face when he looks up from his desk. It’s perfect placement to see your face and long to touch you like this,” He caresses her face before sitting down on the bed and pulling her back into his arms, “and kiss you like this.” His lips are on hers before she has the chance to initiate the kiss. He kisses her in a languidly manner, as he’s in no rush to push the kiss any further. Emily on the other hand tries to move the kiss further. “Em… Em… Em…” Aaron says his love’s name in between kisses trying to slow her down. “We can’t.” He says as he finally has to break their kiss. “Not until your better, you know that, I know that, and I know we both want to go farther. But it’s only a couple of weeks until we know how long we have to wait.”

“Next week.” Emily says. “My appointment is next Monday as that’s four weeks from when I had surgery. But Aaron, just because you won’t touch my broken body doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy your perfectly functioning body.”

“Em… we’ve talked about this. I don’t want to when I can’t return the pleasure. Also your body is recovering; it’s not broken.”

“только мой разум.” Even in another language Aaron can tell by her dropped shoulders and her dejective tone that she has to be talking about her mind.

“Your mind isn’t broken either Emily. I love ever part of you. It is performing the best it can, even if it’s harder some days.” Emily looks at the man she loves and staring into his eyes she can see that nothing he says is a lie.

“That wasn’t in English. How did you know what I was talking about?”

“Emily, there is only one thing that makes you that upset like that- your mental health. I will probably never forgive your mother for making you that ashamed of it. She may say to you that you’re a burden to her but every time you stand up to her you say ‘you’re lying. I’m so much better than that.’ Every day you are battling your own brain telling you that you aren’t strong enough and good enough when you are more than good enough and stronger than most people I know. Every day you tell you say ‘I’m worth more than you say’ to your brain and I’m so proud of you. That is how I know that you are the person I want Jack to be looking up to and loving. That’s how I know I want you to be with me on the craziness that we live day to day. That’s how I know that I love every bit of you because even though you have that battle, every day you show up and you make sure that every member of our team- our family knows that they are loved and worthy of so much more. You also make sure they do their paperwork instead of physics magic, but that’s a whole other topic.” Aaron chuckles as he thinks back to this afternoon before adding, “Emily I love you for who you are and everything that makes you you. I will remind you anytime you need it, because you are there for me when I need it and that’s what a partnership, a relationship needs. Trust, helping each other, and being there for the other when they need it the most. But most importantly, love. And I love you so much, my beautiful brown eyed girl.”

“Fuck you for making me cry. But I love you too Aaron.” Emily is smiling at him so he knows she only means her latter statement. She pulls his face down to her for a kiss and this time there is only love, no rush, no push for more. Just her giving her speech to him through actions.


	18. Chapter 18

**“What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives.” -Rupi Kaur**

“Today’s the day.” Emily curls further into Aaron’s arms as she whispers the words to him before placing soft kisses on his chest. She knows he’s awake, but doesn’t want to disturb the quiet around them by much. She has a good feeling about today’s appointment. All of the negative symptoms her doctor told her to watch for from her spleen removal had either not appeared in the past four weeks or appeared only very mildly. She was hoping he would tell her that she could be cleared for travel with the team and at least doing paperwork and such so Aaron wouldn’t tell her to keep staying home. Not that she minded being at Aaron’s apartment… much. She loves spending her time with her Hotchner boys, but she misses her job. She misses feeling useful. But she’s also hoping that if her doctor clears her for travel and even light work, Aaron might actually touch her more than a simple caress. She aches for him physically, even being in his arms. She yearns to show him how much she loves him, but he won’t let her. He’s scared of her progress regressing and while she appreciates his concern, she’s sick of being the center of it.

“I know Em, but we shouldn’t get our hopes up too high. I don’t want us to be upset if-”

“Aaron, please don’t. I feel good about this. I feel good, period. And I want to come back to work.” Emily’s determined eyes meets reluctant ones and she can feel the arguments building in Aaron’s mind before he even says anything. Pulling back from Aaron’s arms, her eyebrows pull together. “You don’t want me back at work.” It’s not a question, but a statement as Emily can see it written on his face.

“Em, it’s not that I don’t want you back at work. I told you the other day, I miss you at work, I do. I ache for you to be next to me again, to be able to see your beautiful face when I look up from the ghastly images that I stare at while signing off case files. But I don’t want you to come back before your body is 100%. I don’t want to risk your body getting hurt more.”

“Says the man who comes back to work against doctor's orders all the time.” Emily spits out accusingly.

“Emily that’s not fair-”

“Why? Because it’s true?”

“No, because there were other situations that were playing into that.”

“Oh so you going against your doctor’s orders is fine, but when anyone else does it you threaten their job.”

“I’m not threatening your job Emily.”

“But tell me you aren’t considering it if I come back before six weeks. What happens if I get fully cleared to come back today Aaron? Are you going to lock me in this room until another two weeks goes by?”

“Of course not Emily. But I’m just asking that if your doctor says you need to wait, you don’t fight him.”

“And I’m asking you to be happy if he says I’m cleared to go back in the field.”

“Emily, I’m always going to be scared when you’re in the field. I love you. I want you to come home to me, with me every night.”

“Do you not trust me in the field?” Aaron pauses in surprise of the question, but Emily takes his silence in another way. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Emily throws the covers off of her before pushing off from the bed. “So you can love me, but you can’t trust me.”

“Emily, I never said that. You caught me off guard. Of course I trust you.”

“Yeah? Then why are you scared of me being in the field?”

“Are you not scared of me being in the field?”

“I trust you in the field, I always have and always will. But wow Aaron. Answering a question with a question. Deflecting much?” Emily grabs her flip flops from the closet and her phone from the nightstand before storming into the living room. Aaron follows suit as quickly as his thoughts process that Emily is running.

“Emily, stop, please.” He reaches for her wrist trying to pull her back into his arms, but she pulls her arm away from his grasp. “Emily, don’t run, please. Talk to me.”

“How can I talk to someone who doesn’t want to touch me? Doesn’t trust me?” Aaron’s thrown by her questions and it’s enough of a pause that she has enough time to grab her bag and slip her flip flops on. He decides to be a step in front of her and move in front of the door.

“Emily, listen to me please. I trust you, completely. And I don’t understand why you think I don’t want to touch you, it’s all I want to do when I’m around you. I’m intoxicated by you. I’m in love with you Emily, in every sense of the word and I do want you so much. Even while you’re angry with me, I’m still  _ incredibly  _ turned on by how beautiful, how gorgeous my girlfriend is. Today’s appointment is a double ended sword if it goes well. Because if it goes well than Emily, I can have my wicked way with you, make love with you like I’ve been dying to for  _ years _ ! But I’m terrified of having you back in the field, not because I don’t trust you or don’t want you back in the field. It’s the other people who might come in contact with you. Emily I’ve watched you come close to death too many times in the past year. And maybe I’m a coward but I don’t want to think about what will happen the next time that you come in contact with an attempt at something or someone trying to kill you. I’m scared Emily, I’m scared of losing you now that I have you in my life, now that I get to love you.” Emily stares at him, but for the first time in a while he can’t read her face. “Em, say something please.”

“I’m going to go to my apartment and get ready for my appointment. I’ll call you after and we can talk.” She keeps her face fairly blank.

“Em, please don’t go yet-”

“I need to process everything you just told me.” Emily stands on her tiptoes to be able to kiss his cheek since she’s shorter than him without her boots she usually would wear. He pulls her close to him and just holds her for a moment before kissing her forehead, not being able to keep his lips off of her.

“I love you Em.” He mumbles it into her hair, but he knows she can hear every word with how close they are.

“I love you too Aaron. I just need time to think.” She pushes her hands softly against his chest to tell him she needs him to release her from the confines of his arms.

“Call me when your appointment is done. Even if we’re in a briefing, I want to know ok?” Em smiles a soft, but tight smile, but doesn’t say much. “Please Em.” 

“How about I just come see you and we can get lunch? I can catch you up on the appointment.” She suggests, and it gives him hope that she’s not going to run, at least not yet anyway.

“Yes please. Em, I want to do everything with you, whether it’s just grabbing lunch or it’s saving the world. Anything with you, I always want to do.” Emily reaches a hand to his face and runs a hand down his cheek before stepping around him to walk out the door. 

Aaron knows this morning is going to be hell waiting to hear from her. Even just getting Jack ready for school is hell. He wanted to see Emily in his apartment and having his apartment empty of her plus having Jack whine asking when Emmy would be back wasn’t helping. Jack hadn’t called Emily Emmy in years, but he was in a poor mood not getting to say goodbye to her this morning and seeing his father in a worse mood brought back his childhood nickname for his Emmy. Finally, after many protests, Aaron finally gets him and his son out the door towards school and work. But that didn’t make him feel much better, knowing that her absence would be felt even stronger at work.

“Who peed in your coffee?” Dave asks.

“Don’t.” Aaron isn’t in the mood to be bothered with pointless badgering, but he knows Dave won’t stop and has probably already started guessing. 

“Oooh. Pissy. So has to do with your girl. Well today's her four week appointment so did you spring the six week you’d rather her wait to come back even if she’s cleared to work on her this morning?”

“How did-”

“I figured one of you had to get mad at the other and that made the most sense. What happen? One of you breakup with the other?”

“No. She walked out and got ready at her apartment.”

“You haven’t gotten rid of that thing yet? I figured you’d have already moved her in full-time already.”

“If I could, I would.” Aaron mumbles. “I’m also worried about her appointment.” A knock on the door interrupts their conversation and a blonde head pops around the corner.

“Hello sirs. We have a new case.”

“Thank you Penelope. We will meet you in the conference room in 5 minutes.” Dave says, smiling at the tech analyst.

“Certainly sirs, I’ll get the team set up.”

“She’s coming here after? Or is she calling?”

“We’re getting lunch after.”

“Good. Apologize for being bullheaded and she’ll love you more than she already did.”

“I know Dave.” The two men walk towards the conference room, not noticing the brunette making her way up the stairs to the back way into the conference room. “Everyone good to go?” Aaron glances over the seat that’s been open since he’s been back from NYC and his heart pangs again with guilt for the fight he shouldn’t have started this morning.

“Sorry I’m late.” His ears must be deceiving him. She can’t actually be walking in, dressed for work into the conference room, can she? “Doctor’s appointment guys.” She says with a smile.

“EMILY!” With the exception of a certain dark haired Unit Chief everyone else was excited to see the profiler who had been out for four weeks.

“Emily? If you want to wait in my office, we can go to lunch after the case file is done being read.” The team looks at Aaron in shock, almost like they can’t believe he told her she could wait for him away from the team.

“Actually, Dr. Gaberstein said I’m cleared to come back to work and as long as I’m not running marathons and such I should be all good until two or three weeks from now. Paperworks all here. One copy for my personal file, one copy for a certain boyfriend/boss who I wasn’t sure would believe me.” Aaron flips to the second page she gave him, knowing there’s a reason she would bring his attention to the page and when he looks at what she got her doctor to write, he’s shocked. A letter of  _ sexual clearance _ ?! Did Emily think he’d find this funny in a professional environment?

“Fine, you may sit in on the profile, but you will be staying in DC for this case.”

“Aaron, I’m cleared to travel.” Emily replies defiantly.

“Yes, but Jessica is out of town until tonight and I had told her you could watch Jack remember.” Aaron normally wouldn’t call her out in front of the team like this, but she was the one who brought it up.

“Fine.” Emily hisses out before sitting in the open chair, her chair.

The team’s eyes jumped between the couple who though sitting next to each other now, were millions of miles apart. Going over the case was second nature to all of them, while watching Emily and Aaron to try and figure out what was going on was somewhat more interesting. When the team had gotten to a point they felt comfortable at with the case and a potential start of a profile, Aaron let out his standard, “Wheels up in 30.” And the team stood up and most of them turned to Emily to try and figure out how she was doing, they were surprised to hear, “Agent Prentiss. My office. Now.” Emily was most surprised out of everyone to hear her boyfriend call her by her last name. She follows him towards his office, but is surprised by the differences in him compared to him this morning. Aaron goes to sit in his desk chair and says, “Shut the door please.”

“Aaron, what the fuck are you doing?”

“You tell me Emily. What is God’s name made you think this was appropriate for the work environment but much less in front of the entire team?!” He sets down the sexual clearance sheet in front of her.

“Aaron I’m trying to get you to relax. Clearly this morning you said that the idea of me being back in the field stressed you out so I was hoping this would help. If I knew it would piss you off, I would have skipped it.” Emily’s voice, though defensive of her actions, is also slightly aggravated.

“Emily, there’s a level of professionalism that has to remain in front of the team and this,” He holds up the paper that infuriates him, “is not a part of that level.”

“So making out on the plane and calling me out that I need to stay home and watch your son, that’s all professional, but me giving you a piece of paper that I never said what it was to the team is not?” Emily hisses at her boyfriend.

“Wait, you’re upset that I need you to stay with Jack?” Aaron can’t think about the rest of what she said besides her comment about Jack.

“Aaron, I love Jack. But you insinuated, in front of the team, that you need your woman to take care of your child over her doing her job.” The hurt on Emily’s face was clear from the grinding of her teeth to the pulled in eyebrows and the anger in her eyes. “If you don’t trust me in the field Aaron, just say it.” He steps over to where Emily is and pulls her into his arms. She pushes against him for a moment trying to remain angry with him, but eventually relaxes into his arms, releasing her anger to him.

“Emily, I know you can do your job and you’re amazing at it. If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t ask you to stay with Jack. If Jessica was here I’d bring you with the team, even if it does scare me to put you back in the field. It’s not distrust I promise you. Plus, do you think I want to be halfway across the country when you just gave me a letter that tells me I can finally touch you in the way I’ve been wanting to for, well, forever? No. Emily, please. I love you, I trust you, this is solely because I need someone to stay with Jack. And I trust you to be that person.” While Emily wants to accept this, a thought comes to mind.

“Aaron, what is Strauss going to think if I’m cleared to travel but I’m not?” He groans.

“Fuck, I hadn’t thought about that.”

“I’ll be in derelict of duty by not being on the case.”

“Can you tell her you’re waiting the full six-”

“No.” He finds her dark eyes meeting his. “I’m not going to be away from you for two more weeks just because you don’t want to tell Strauss I’m cleared to travel.”

“I guess I’ll ask JJ if Will could watch Jack. He’ll be upset that you won’t be there tonight though.” Emily’s head cocks to one side and Aaron continues, “He spent all morning whining about Emmy not being there.”

“He hasn’t called me Emmy since before I, uh, left.” Emily says in shock, thinking back to the seven month stretch she was separated from Jack and her team.

“I know, I think he was just surprised not to see you when he woke up. He was in a sour mood all morning. I didn’t think I’d be able to get him to school on time with how much he complained about each step of getting ready.”

“Aaron-”

“I’m not trying to make you stay. I’m trying to let you know that Jack loves you as much as I do and we were both in sour moods from you being gone this morning.”

“Yeah well Sergio had to deal with my awful mood too so I guess we all had bad mornings.”

“What did you do to your poor cat Em?”

“Why does he get off scotch free? How do you know he didn’t ruin everything? Or pee on the floor? Men, always taking each other’s side.”

“Did Sergio do something?” Aaron asks confused now.

“No, but,” Aaron rolls his eyes, something he’s picked up from being around Emily all the time. “hey, hey that’s not fair! Stop rolling your eyes.” Aaron places a kiss on Emily’s cheek before moving towards her lips. Emily responds to his lips on hers but a knock on the door pulls them apart completely.

“Come in.” Aaron calls out and JJ’s head pops in.

“Hey, I just thought I’d offer Will said he could watch Jack so Emily can come-”

“Yes please. Thank you JJ.” Aaron answers before Emily has a chance to say anything. JJ smiles and has a look that tells Emily she wants the full story of what happened behind the closed doors.

“Ok, I’m going to call Will, you two can go back to jumping each other or whatever you were doing before I interrupted.”JJ says with a laugh looking at the reaction on her two friends’ faces.

“Thanks Jayje.” Emily calls after the blonde. Emily goes to place a kiss on her boyfriend’s lips, hoping to continue what they had started earlier, but notices his far off, thinking face. “What’s wrong Aaron?” Her mind starts running at a million thoughts per minute of things that could have gone wrong, things she could have done wrong.

“Stop thinking so hard Em. I was just realizing, that I may need to push the team’s timing, because now you need to go home and get your go bag and credentials-” He cuts himself off noticing Emily shaking her head.

“I might have been hoping you would say I could travel so I brought a go bag, my creds, and my gun just in case.”

“Em-”

“I know, it was risky and stupid, which is why I didn’t bring them in with me just in case you did say and stay with your no answer. But I figured that if I could convince you, then there wouldn’t be time to run home and get stuck in traffic and I didn’t want to make the team wait-”

“Em-”

“So I figured I’d just bring it in case. So it’s just downstairs and I can grab it as we’re going and not slow the team down-”

“God Em, stop rambling and let me kiss you.” Aaron groans before pulling her back to him. Emily wasn’t going to say no to kissing her boyfriend, but he could tell that even now, she was confused on why. He pulls slightly back from the kiss, but stays so close to her. “You put everyone else first, and I love you for that. But I also think you’re smart and beautiful and I love you and I want to spend so much time kissing you, loving you. And I don’t think the ten minutes before we leave is enough time.”

“But Aaron, we could join the mile high club this time.” Emily says referring to the last time they flew, knowing that Aaron would say no, so she lets her hand slide down his body until it reaches the destination that may change his mind.

“Em…” Her name is like a prayer on his tongue. “Ask me on the plane when I don’t have your hand trying to change my answer.”


	19. Chapter 19

**“She’s delightfully chaotic, a beautiful mess. Loving her is a splendid adventure.” -Steve Maraboli**

Sitting down on the plane, she could feel everyone’s eyes on her and suddenly her anxiety started to tell her this wasn’t a good idea. But Aaron sits down next to her and pulls her hand into his. “Will said he’d watch Jack so Emily could come with. Let’s review what we know.” Emily is shocked the difference in just five weeks. The person she was then and now feel like completely different people. Hell, the person she was this morning feels like a different entity than she is now. She thinks to how her hand in Aaron’s can reassure her and can make her feel safe enough that her panic goes away. Yes Robert and her had discussed it over and over that she needed to be with someone that accepts her for who she is not who she wants to be, but she never though she would find that person within her own team. Aaron’s hand squeezes hers and she looks up at him. Reid is rambling statistics off so she knows it’s not that she missed something, but his eyes are staring into hers so there’s something. “You ok?” He whispers to her so low that she almost doesn’t catch it. She smiles at him and nods ever so slightly. 

“Just lost in my thoughts.” She says and turns back to listen to the profile they’re building.

“Ok, when we land JJ and Morgan I want you to go down to the scene and see if we can build off of what we already have. Reid and Rossi I want you to visit the past victims’ families and see if they can help build our theory. Emily you’ll be with me at the field office since you’re restricted from going in the field.” Everyone else sitting at the table throws their hands up with joking smiles.

“What?” Her eyes look at her friends demanding an explanation.

“Just saying Princess, your boyfriend’s probably the best one to keep you in the station all day. None of us want the responsibility of having to tell you no every time there’s a lead you want to chase outside the precinct.”

“Although, he might be the best at distracting her from them.” JJ throws out thinking back to how embarrassed they had looked to be caught in his office.

“Jayje…” Emily’s voice dares her to say something and JJ shrugs it off with a knowing eyebrow raise.

“We will have girl time later to discuss everything. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you ducked my calls every chance you got.” JJ says and Aaron contemplates changing up rooming assignments so that he can have Emily all to himself and not have to share, but how would that look to the rest of the team?

“If you want to save me from this, anything would be welcomed. The wrath of JJ is not one I want to deal with.” Emily says hiding her face in his shoulder.

“I’ll think of something,” He places a kiss on their interlocked hands and the team, although shocked by the display, manages to hide their shock from their teammates who don’t seem to manage.

“My hero.” She says resting her head on his shoulder. Since assignments were finished and the profile was as far as they could go before they got to their location, the team moves around the plane to take a breather before they land. They were flying to North Dakota, so they had time to relax since they were gaining time. Aaron pulls their intertwined hands towards to couch were they had sat only a few weeks ago in much different circumstances. “Don’t you need to look over files or something? That’s what you usually spend flights doing.”

“And you usually read. But I spent the morning and the past three weeks spending a lot of time away from my beautiful girlfriend and I’d rather spend time looking at you sweetheart.” Aaron sits down on the couch and Emily plops down next to him.

“And here I thought you had changed your mind about my proposal about joining the mile high club.”

“Emily, if we weren’t flying for work, I’d be much more open to the idea, but since we are and I’m supposed to be your boss I have to say no, as much as it hurts to say so.

“Well, I’ll just have to keep trying with that proposal.” Emily winks at him, her impulses getting the best of her. 

“Emily, you are killing me. If you keep pushing me, I will reorganize rooming situations and JJ won’t be happy.” Emily’s eyebrows pull together in curiosity. “Dave snores.” Aaron explains which leaves Emily laughing.

“And what happens when we do get married?” Aaron is speechless with the question, not sure where Emily is going with this. “If JJ leaves or we get a third woman on the team again, what happens then? Will I shack up with one of the guys? Maybe Morgan will want to share a bed with me.” She wiggles her eyebrows at him.

“No. Morgan will not be sharing a bed with my lady. Once we get married its a completely different situation. The FBI has no issue with married couples sharing rooms. So if you do become my wife-”

“When.” Emily corrects him and he beams knowing that she wants to be with him as much as he does.

“Ok,  _ when _ you become my wife, sharing a room isn’t an issue.”

“So why is it one now?”

“Because we haven’t disclosed our relationship to Strauss. So unless we do, separate rooms it is unfortunately.”

“All we have to do is disclose?” Emily asks.

“The FBI can’t really tell you who to be in a relationship with, but they have rules for if you do get in relationships with that basically are you can’t let it affect work, you can’t let someone get away with things because you’re dating them, and if you break up you need to be able to stay professional. Other than that they would rather it stay off the work floor, but that’s it.” Aaron shrugs wondering why he hadn’t mentioned it to Emily before now.

“Disclose it to her soon then.” Emily suggests, and gives him a kiss to let him know why she wants Strauss knowing, and it wasn’t for congratulations.

“When we get back we can tell her if you want to.” Aaron breathlessly suggests when they break apart. Emily nods in agreement, a smile brightening her whole face. “Dave is going to have to do your reviews from now on though.”

“I wouldn’t care if a janitor does my reviews if it means I get to spend all my nights wrapped in your arms.” Emily says before pulling her boyfriend in for another kiss.

“Get a room, you two!” Morgan’s voice calls from the front of the room.

“I’m trying to.” Emily calls over one shoulder before flipping her usual partner off. 

“Maybe I need to permanently change partners up. I don’t want him able to stare at my girl all the time. Especially with that ass.” Aaron whispers to Emily, nipping her lips with a quick, hard kiss.

“Your girl?” Replies his brown eyed girl with a cock of her dark eyebrows. 

“My girl.” He replies back, kissing her again.

“Your girl.” She agrees kissing him back. Aaron wraps his arms around her and just to get the team who is starring them down, no matter what they do, he flips the bird behind her back as well. The team can’t hide their shock any longer and their outrage and surprise is loud enough to break them apart. Aaron’s smile reminds Emily of when her men fought her with Nerf guns so she rolls her eyes and just kisses his cheek. “You’re ridiculous, but I love you.”

“I’m only ridiculous when it comes to you, and I love you too.” Emily shakes her head and drops to his shoulder again. “Do you want to sleep? You have time to before we land.” Emily shakes her head again. 

“No, I think I’ve napped enough for the next year over the past couple weeks.” The team’s attention finally moves on to other things, and the two dark haired agents can focus on each other. “Plus you said you want to focus on your girlfriend since she has been away from you, well my boyfriend keeps leaving me to go to work all the time and I’m pretty sick of him running away all the time so now that I’m back with him I want to be with him too.”

“Never running away from you Em. Always running towards you.” He places a kiss on her forehead.

“Either way Aaron, I want to spend the plane ride reveling that I’m back with you on the jet, going to solve a case with the team. Babe, that’s all I’ve wanted for weeks.”

“I know love,” Emily cringes thinking of the last person who called her love. “Ok, what’s wrong with this nickname, because we never got through talking about our lists and you haven’t seemed to have problems with any of the other nicknames I gave you.”

“It’s just that Doyle called me love.” The recognition on Aaron’s face looks as though Emily has slapped him. “I’m sorry-”

“No, Emily. Don’t apologize. I should have realized. Are there any other names that I shouldn’t use?” Emily shakes her head, tears threatening to fall from her eyes so she looks away so he doesn’t see that she’s upset about hurting him. “Em, look at me. Please?” Emily pulls half of her bottom lip in between her teeth and turns to look back at Aaron. “Oh Em, don’t cry. Tell me, what’s wrong.”

“It’s stupid.”

“If it made you upset it’s not stupid.”

“I’m upset because I hurt you.”

“That’s not stupid Emily. And I’m not hurt by you. I was shocked that I didn’t think of that first. I should have realized that he was probably the reason you didn’t like the nickname. I should have thought about asking if he had called you any pet names before starting-”

“No.” Aaron looks at her with shock.

“No?”

“I don’t want our relationship to revolve around him or my mother or other people that have hurt us.” Aaron smiles at her.

“Our relationship only has to revolve around us Em.”

“Then no more Ian or things my mother did.” Her voice lowers, not trying to allow the team to hear what they are talking about, if they are eavesdropping.

“No more other men’s names whispered off your lips.” Aaron pleads.

“Only… Aaron…” Her voice gets even quieter as she says it and she can see his eyes darken as he hears her say his name. He doesn’t even reply as he pulls her lips back to his and kisses her to tell her his feelings for her.

“Mine.” Her alpha was there next to her, but him simply claiming her lips was something she never expected to feel so turned on by.

“Yours.” She agrees to his satisfaction. Hearing her agree with him meant the world to Aaron. He never thought he’d hear Emily agree to kiss him, date him, love him, so having her tell him that her lips, her life, her love was his and his alone made every part of him glow with happiness. He wanted to continue feeling this happy forever. And being told that he could help to push the darkness from her life made him feel like the superhero that Jack claimed Aaron was. Aaron also knew that Emily was going to make his life brighter with ever caress, kiss, and gentle touch he got to have with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow did not mean to take this much time off in between updates! Luckily we have two(I think) chapters left for this and then a sequel that I'm working on right now. So hopefully I can finish this up in the next few weeks. Let me know what you thought!


	20. Chapter 20

**“She has been through hell. So believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into fire and smiles.”- e. Corona**

Being back in the field was nothing like Emily expected. She thought everything would go back to how it would feel like it did back before her spleen got removed, before she and Aaron started dating, or even before her faked death. However being in this moment, everything was different. True there was a serial killer on the loose, but what else was new about that? Not much. The difference about being back in the field this time though was her meds actually felt like they were kicking in. She didn’t feel like she had people calling her name all the time, she didn’t feel like she needed to watch over her shoulder all the time, she didn’t feel like there were shadows running past her periphery all the time. Also she felt more relaxed. Her panic attacks hadn’t plagued her since she had been off, and part of that had to do with the fact that she had finally had time off to relax when she didn’t feel like a murderous ex-boyfriend was going to find her at any time, but the other part was Aaron. He treated her differently than any guy she had been with in, well ever. He reassured her when she needed it and fought her mind with her, not for her. But he also knew that she could kick her own demons’ asses when needed and then he could just be her back up.

“Em, do you have the file with Mandy’s statement?” Aaron asks as they dig through all the previous witness statements trying to find a link between what the different witness had said about the unsub they had seen. Emily nods and pulls the file and hands it to her boyfriend.

“Hey man, can I ask you a favor?” One of the detectives asks Morgan as he starts walking back towards the conference room where Emily, Aaron, and JJ all sit going through witness statements.

“Um, maybe. What’s up?”

“The beautiful agent? Agent Prentiss? Is she seeing anyone?” Normally Morgan would step in and become very protective of the people on his team, but just for once he wanted to see how Emily would deal with someone on her own. Especially with her alpha boyfriend sitting right there.

“You know? I’m not sure. You should go up and ask her.” Morgan shrugs as if he didn’t know about the two people who made out on the plane only a few hours ago.

“Do you think she would mind if I-”

“You won’t know unless you ask her.” Morgan says with a smile. Emily is looking up at him with suspicion as the Detective, Benjamin maybe, starts to walk her way. Aaron also notices him walking their way and he could see that this lesser male’s eyes were only on his girl. 

“Was there something you needed Detective?” Aaron asks before the detective has the chance to interrupt their work.

“I was actually wondering if I could speak to Agent Prentiss for a moment.” Emily cocks an eyebrow at Aaron over her folder but making it look as though she was asking him for permission. 

“We’re actually quite busy right now Detective Ben-ha-mein.”

“It’s actually Detective Ben-ja-min.”

“Right Ben-ha-mein. Got it.” Emily says. “I’ve got all these witness statements to go through but I can talk while I go through them.” Aaron and JJ nod as if saying go on to the detective they were clearly messing with.

“Well I was wondering if you had a boyfriend and if I could take you out if you didn’t?” Emily’s eyes open wide and she can feel Aaron’s hand on her thigh, which she slides one hand on top of to tell him to cool it. While Detective Benjamin, didn’t notice, Emily notices Aaron shooting daggers at him. 

“Um, well as nice as that is, um, meet SSA Hotchner, my boyfriend, who I’m completely happy and satisfied being with.” And at that moment, Detective Benjamin looks up at Aaron and realizes the daggers coming in his direction. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was told that I should ask and see what happens.”

“By whom?” Aaron’s question comes out like a demand.

“Agent Morgan.” Detective Benjamin’s rat-like face looks like he’s about to shit himself. 

“That is all.” Aaron dismisses him without a second glance and Detective Benjamin runs out of the room towards the bathroom. “Hmm, maybe he will shit himself.”

“Aaron, be nice.” Emily chides him.

“I am. Unlike I’m going to be when I find Morgan.”

“Aaron, not here. Please.” Emily’s eyes search his and he can tell something is up, but he won’t push it, not here, not now.

“Ok, but only because you said please.” Aaron rotates his hand and squeezes the hand of hers that is on his. He knows that later when they all get to the hotel he will need to find time to have a conversation with her and with Morgan. Why Morgan thought this was appropriate was a big question. Morgan knew Emily and Aaron were together and Morgan knew better than to send a detective over to interrupt them while they were working, especially to distract them. Yet he did send him over. All he wanted to do was go and yell at Morgan, but Emily was rooting him to this spot with her hand alone. 

“I think I found something.” JJ interrupts his thoughts with a statement from the file he had pushed aside when he was trying to protect his girl. “This witness Mandy says that she remembered our unsub smelling of garbage. There was a dump, like a garbage dump not far from where three of the bodies were found.” Reid and Rossi walk back in while JJ is talking.

“Ok, Morgan and Rossi, go dig through the dump while Reid and JJ go talk to this witness. I want her statement revisited to see if she remembers anything else.” Morgan looks a shade paler if that’s possible, as if he knows that Aaron and Emily know he sent the detective over and that’s why he now is on trash duty. “Also Morgan plan time to have a sit down later with me.” And Morgan’s face definitely went a few shades paler with that. Messing with Emily and Aaron was one thing, but having to have a sit down with his boss because of it was a complete other thing. He had hoped that Emily would take it as a joke, but Aaron wouldn’t be afraid to file it as sexual harassment to keep Morgan away from his girl. Honestly Morgan could see Aaron even sending him to another unit if it kept Emily happy, not that he thought that would.

“Emily, can I-” Morgan tries to talk to, or even apologize to her but Aaron steps in.

“Don’t you have a dump to get to Morgan?” Aaron’s hand wraps instinctively around her waist like he’s trying to put claim on her, even though no one on the team would dare try to take Emily from her soulmate that they all tried so hard to get her with.

“Five minutes Emily?”

“Why should she even give you that?” Aaron’s voice was angry and demanding rather than questioning.

“Hotch I get it, I messed up. But she’s my partner and I want to fix that.”

“Aaron, it’s ok. Let me talk with him.” She squeezes his arm ever so softly and looks into his eyes. They have the tiniest conversation between the two of them without using any words. “It’s ok. I promise. Don’t be angry.”

“Ok.” Aaron squeezes her hand before walking back to the table, leaving her with Morgan.

“So he’s pissed.”

“Very.”

“And you are feeling?”

“How I feel is nothing. I know you meant it as a joke.”

“How nice Emily- to feel nothing and still get credit for being alive.”

“Don’t quote Kurt Vonnegut at me! Aaron’s probably counting your seconds before the boss in him comes out and forces you to go to your scene.”

“Emily, I’m sorry, I did mean it as a joke. I wanted to see how you dealt with someone flirting with you now that you’re all out and proud with the flirting and the cuddling and shaking that thing at your boy.”

“Shaking that  _ thing _ at my  _ boy? _ ”

“I did see how you interacted with Aaron on the jet. Just like get him to a bed and knock out that sexual tension now that you can before it knocks the both of you out. He is jealous that someone else wanted your attention and I can take his wrath. But I want you to know it wasn’t because I don’t think he loves you- I know he does. I want you too to get over the feelings or whatever was holding you too from getting past your sexual tension. Emily, you’ve been my partner for going on 7 years. I know when there is sexual tension driving you crazy and right now you are in sexual tension overdrive.”

“Well even if that’s true, the only thing in the way right now was my doctors and is this case. So if you can get rid of the latter I already got rid of the former.” From the other side of the room Rossi is watching the three of them with questioning eyes, but doesn’t ask, instead sipping on the precinct’s crappy coffee, trying to get a caffeine hit. Whatever is these children’s problem, it didn’t take a priority over his coffee, even if it is shitty, shitty precinct coffee.

“I’ll apologize and I’ll play nice from now on, ok Princess?” Emily smiles at Morgan before walking back to where her boyfriend is throwing stank eyes at her partner.

“Both of you play nice, please. We don’t need the FBI wondering why we are breaking other cities precincts, ok?” Emily’s words seemed to be directed more at her boyfriend than at her partner, but they both nod. Morgan runs off to catch Rossi to head off to the crime scene. Emily on the other hand, although the two profilers should go back to sorting through the papers in front of them, grabs Aaron's hand and pulls him towards an empty interview room.

“Emily, what are you doing?” Aaron most of the time could tell what was on her mind, but right now, he had more questions than answers about the thoughts running through the beautiful mind of his girlfriend.

“I want to talk to the man I love in private.”

“What about? Emily are you upset about what I said about the detective? Or to Morgan?” Emily just shakes her head before closing the blinds. “Emily, I would love to pretend I can read your mind and know what's going through your head at all times, but I don’t know.

“Do you know how incredibly hot it is to have you wanting to claim me in front of everyone?” Aaron starts to open his mouth to say he didn’t claim her when Emily speaks before he has the chance. “Aaron, your hand on my thigh, inching closer to me with every word he said? And your hand around my waist? Then saying you'd play nice only because I said please? God, that alone was the hottest of them all.” At this point Aaron pulls Emily flush against his body, knowing Emily feels as frustrated as he does. 

“Emily. I love you, I want to show you how much, but there’s too many people around right now. And if any one comes looking for us and finds us here, that could compromise the entire investigation.”

“Tonight. Please Aaron. I can’t wait any longer. I can’t wait days or, God forbid, another week to be in your arms.”

“I’ll figure something out Emily. Trust me, I want you just as much. But we can’t compromise the team-”

“The team will be fine shifting rooms for us, trust me. Worst comes to worse, you switch it up for ‘team bonding purposes’.” Emily says with a wink.

“Team bonding that happens to put my girlfriend in the same room with me.” Aaron’s lips are on her neck and she moans at his touch. “I don’t think they’ll go for it.” He says in between kisses.

“If we threaten to fuck on the jet, they might.”

“No fucking.”

“Fine Aaron, if we threaten to make love on the jet, they might let us switch up the rooming assignments.”

“No mile high club.”

“I’ll go find Detective-” Aaron cuts her off with his lips before she can even get his name out of her mouth. 

“Only my name from your lips. Not that detective’s.” Aaron’s lips place hard, fast kisses on her lips, cheek, neck, anywhere they could reach.

“Aaron…” She moans as he marks her neck, hoping she is too blessed out to notice. He kisses down her neck and pops a button on her blouse trying to gain access to her pulse point. “Aaron, work. At. Work.” She tries to remind her boyfriend where they are, but Aaron doesn’t care. He might be the workaholic on their team, but when it comes to Emily, she comes first.

“I don’t care.” He says before finding the point he was trying to worship. He places another mark of love on her pulse point before continuing his attack of kisses back up her clavicle towards her neck again. “I love you Emily and I plan to make sure everyone knows.”

“If you have given me any hickeys Aaron, I swear to God-”

“Should have warned me before.”

“Aaron!” Her warning soon turns into a moan as his lips work her neck some more. “Aar...on...” He planned on finding out how many different ways he could make her say his name before the night was over, but his phone had different plans for this afternoon.

“Hotchner.” He answers his phone with his lips barely leaving Emily’s skin and listens to what the blonde analyst has to say before mumbling a few “mmhms” and “yes” before telling her to keep him posted and then hanging up. His lips make their way back up her neck to her lips where he pulls her in for a slow long kiss before pulling away slowly. “Garcia has more files for us.” Emily lets out a groan. “You’re the one who wanted to be back even if only for paperwork.”

“I wanted to be cleared to come back so I could be cleared to make love to you.”

“Em..ily…” This time it’s his turn to let out a groan. Emily’s lips are back on his as her hand travels south finding that he wants to go back to work about as much as she does. “Em..il…yyy….” Her name is broken apart as she holds him as close to her as she can.

“You sure you want to go back to work Aaron?”

“Of course not, but we have to. Tonight.” He promises, kissing his girlfriend one more time. “I’ll figure out a way to make it happen.”

“Aaron be honest with me…” He expects her to not believe that he can make it happen for them since she believes that bad things are going to happen to her.

“Ok.”

“How many hickey’s did you give me?”

“Less than three. People need to know you’re taken.” Aaron has a devilish smile on him that makes Emily forget she’s supposed to be mad at him for leaving marks telling of their teenage like make out session.

“The team are the only people that need to know, and they do. And you know I’m yours. That’s the most important one. You know I love you right?”

“Of course I do Emily. I know you love me and I love you so much.”

“But you want that detective to know, don’t you?”

“So much.”

“You really think I would want someone like him when I can have you?” Aaron shrugs and for the first time Emily sees she’s not the only one in the relationship that has doubts about them. “Full honesty?” Aaron takes in a breath, before looking her in the eyes and saying something that surprises Emily.

“Emily, I’m almost a decade older than you.”

“Seven years is not a decade Aaron.

“Still Em, what if you wake up one day and decide that you want someone closer to your age?”

“Full honesty, I want you Aaron. I’m not going to wake up and decide I want someone else, because someone else, no matter their age or what they look like, they aren’t you.”

“What if you decide one day that you don’t want  a scarred up, workaholic with a kid from his first marriage-”

“Aaron, please stop. If you won’t let me call myself a burden or a waste of space, I won’t let you call yourself all of those awful things. I love you for who you are. Everything good, bad, and other that makes you who you are, makes you the man I love as well. Your scars show me the battles you’ve won, the people you've saved-”

“And lost-”

“So do mine.” Aaron realizes that everything she is saying to him, she has said to herself to reassure herself on why he loves her. “And to your other points, we’re both workaholics. Getting out of the office at decent hours is hard, but knowing that I’m going home to spend the night with my lover, my boyfriend, my best friend, well that is definitely way more exciting that staring at case files. And you’ve been coming home at normal hours way more often than not recently.”

“That’s because you’re more tempting than anything at the office.”

“Exactly, what I’m saying Aaron. And to your last point. I love Captain Jack as much as I love you, maybe more,” she says with a teasing wink, “so I don’t know how you think I’d be able to leave the two of you or how I could use either of you as a reason to leave. Both of you are family to me, and maybe one day that will be permanent if you want too.”

“When we want.” Aaron corrects her, like she had with him.

“So one day we will make it permanent, but for right now, you two are the reasons I want to stay safe. I love you Aaron and I love your son. Age, scars, work tendencies, nothing can push me away from you, unless you decide you no longer want me-”

“Never going to happen.”

“Then I will be yours forever and you don’t need to let these doubts plague you. That’s my full honesty.” And Aaron can’t help but pull the woman who holds his heart so sacredly close back into his arms.

“I’ll be yours forever too Em, if you’ll have me. Full honesty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left! Then a sequel that is already in the works! Let me know what you thought:)


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